lemonsprite

Master list <3 My non-fanfic related blog <3 My AO3 <3

Hi, I'm Jojo! (Also known as gloooomanddooom on ao3!) I’m 20 years old and my pronouns are he/they. I also speak English and Deutsch and am autistic and have ADD.

I write works for a multitude of ships and fandoms but occasionally I'll write an x reader.

For those I mainly write gn or male-aligned readers. I might write a female-aligned reader at some point but if that's what you're looking for my blog is probably not for you (sorry).

Some of the fandoms I write for are:

A Way Out

Baldurs Gate 3

BBC Ghosts

Call of Duty

Danny Smoke in Furry Land/hj

DC

Deadlock (valve)

Devil May Cry

Dragon Age

Final Fantasy VII

Final Fantasy XV

Harry Potter

Indiana Jones

Lord of the Rings

Moon Knight

Phantom of the Opera

Rambo

Resident Evil

Spider-man

Star Wars

X-men

My requests are open!

Summary: Phenomaman does not understand the concept of a hammock.... Word Count: 700 Warnings: none, it's just silly!! A/N: Just a short little thing. I wanted to post something since it's been forever (almost a year since I posted a fic) I'm sorry don't crucify me college sucks ass

Phenomaman looked quizzically at the blue macrame hammock before the two of you, analyzing the lounger as if it weren’t just a rectangle of woven yarn.

“And you said this is a hammock…” he mused, glancing down at you from where he stood.

“Yes phenomaman, you lay in it.”

When you invited your SDN coworkers over for a backyard barbecue you hadn’t expected this to be the thing that enraptured phenomaman’s attention.

The burly man beside you stared at the hammock for a long awkward moment. It was almost impossible to tell what he was thinking behind those sleep deprived eyes.

From the other side of your yard you could hear Flambae cursing out Golem for attempting to touch the grill.

"...I'll be right back... Don't die." You added as a joke but the more you thought about it the more you hoped Phenomaman would take it seriously.

You were only gone at most five minutes, stuck brokering peace between two powerful individuals who could crush you with just their thumbs but held all the emotional intelligence of a tater-tot, when you turned back to the few trees that lined the fence of your backyard.

An annoyed sigh left you lips as your eyes fell upon the tangled mess of your hammock, phenomaman trapped inside like some poor rabbit in a hunters snare.

"Phenomaman..." You groaned, jogging over to try and untangle his strong limbs from the knitted hammock.

"I apologize friend." He spoke, his arm, caught in the yarn, stretched awkwardly over his head. "I seem to have gotten stuck in you 'hammock'."

"It's okay." You reassured, trying to push aside your annoyance to comfort the depressed alien. The next minute passed unsuccessfully as you try to pull Phenomaman's limbs free from the knotted mess.

"God what the fuck did you do to get this twisted up?" You mumbled to yourself, moving to straddle the hammock, one leg on either side of Phenomamans hips to get a better angle at the knot.

Phenomaman stares up at you, wide eyed and confused with you so close.

Finally with a loud grunt and a pull that would dislocate the shoulder of any normal human, you are able to untangle Phenomaman from the macrame mess of a hammock, the alien falling face first into the grass of your lawn and making no attempt to get up from where he laid.

"Here Phenomaman," You sigh, getting up from the hammock. "I'll teach you how to sit in it."

Phenomaman pulled himself up from the grass, a few green blades sticking to his cheek.

Slowly, so that Phenomaman could see each move you made, you placed your hand on the stretchy macrame hammock, allowing you to turn and sit, staring up at the man in front of you.

"Now you just-" Lifting your legs, you laid down in the hammock, glancing over at Phenomaman who stared at you with wonder as if you were some kind of miracle worker. "-Lay down..."

"Intriguing..." He mused. "Can we both lay in it?"

"You want... to lay in the hammock with me...?" You asked, looking over his large build that would make it almost impossible to lay together unless you were directly on top of him.

Phenomaman mimicked what you showed him earlier, sitting on a small stretched out section of the hammock before awkwardly laying down beside you shoulder to shoulder as the lounger pulled to try and accommodate you both.

Your face flushed as the hammock's tension forced phenomaman to shift beneath you, your body moving to lay on top of his chest.

"This is quite comfortable." Phenomaman observed, his voice directly in your ear. "I understand now why this woven rectangle is used for 'relaxation'."

"That's... great..." You sighed awkwardly, resigning yourself to your fate as you shift on to your side, attempting to get more comfortable, your head lying on his broad chest.

Phenomaman reached a hand up to your back, idly drawing small circles as he let out a low yawn.

"I could stay here forever." He mused, and you couldn't help but agree despite the number of superheroes currently trashing your backyard.

I'm so sorry, this is gonna make me look like such a fake fan but I've never actually seen Kingdom of the Crystal Skull TT

I watched all the indiana jones films with my mom and she is an adamant hater of the film so the movie was subsequently banned from our household.

Sera: “I don’t know if we should mess with Cullen’s desk… I have no clue how sturdy it is….”

Summary: The Inquisitor enjoys seeing Cullen flustered much to Ser Rutherford’s disapproval Word count: 492 A/N: this isn’t necessarily an x reader but more so a fic about Cullen and my female inquisitor Fiona (because I love them my little boopsies). That being said I’m not gonna use a name but I will be using she/her pronouns and describing her appearance-wise like my inquisitor so if you want to interpret this as an x reader be my guest just know it’s not really intended to be one!! >< Warnings: none!!

It was hard for him to focus.

Cullen was supposed to be inspecting the newest recruits forms- making sure they knew which side to grip their blade from and how to properly hold their shields, not stumble around like a blundering idiot.

But oh it was impossible. The inquisitor was much to pretty to be out on a battle field like this.

Her pale skin turned rosy from the cold, her breaths coming out in clouds of air each time she spoke.

Speaking of which, Cullen had not been listening to a single word she’d been saying. Far too busy nodding his head and staring at the way her golden eyelashes fluttered with each blink.

“Do you take vows?” Asked the inquisitor, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her pointed ear.

“Excuse me?” Flustered Cullen, snapping from his reverie to look the inquisitor in her eyes before clearing his throat.

“The order.” She smiled, clearly sensing that Cullen’s mind had been elsewhere during their conversation. Cullen groaned internally, wishing he could kick himself in the head.

“We uh… vow to serve the Maker yes.” He explained, busying his hands with straightening invisible wrinkles in his jacket. “And to protect the world from dangerous uses of magic.”

The inquisitor hummed thoughtfully, rocking back and forth on her heels playfully before shooting Cullen a small smile.

“And physical temptations… do templars have to abstain from such things?” She asked, her wide eyes much to kind to be hinting at such things.

Cullen’s face went bright pink, choking on his own spit in an attempt to respond to the inquisitor.

“We um- uh… I-“ he stumbled, coughing slightly as he cleared his throat. “We can marry your worship… but uh… templars seldom do so…”

The inquisitor seemed to pout playfully at that, though the mirth in her eyes spoke unsaid volumes to how much fun she was having teasing Cullen.

“Some templars do vow celibacy in dedication to the maker however…” Cullen explained, trying to retain a modicum of decency trying to push the sudden barrage of unwanted thoughts pertaining to him and the inquisitor from his mind.

“And have you?” She asked, that deceptively adorable smile gracing her lips once more. “Taken such a vow?”

“No…” Cullen coughed, kicking himself mentally for responding to quickly. Don’t look so desperate Rutherford…

“Maker can we please speak of something else?” Begged the previous Templar knight, his skin felt like it was on fire and if his heart were to beat any faster Cullen feared dropping to the floor dead in front of all his new recruits.

“Mm… I suppose…” sighed the inquisitor teasingly, giving in to this torturous game of cat and mouse between them. “Tell me about life in the Circle Cullen.”

Andraste, the way she can change the subject like she wasn’t just inadvertently asking to pin Cullen to the wall five seconds ago.

Maker knows this inquisition will be the death of him.

(Expect a Indiana jones fic to drop soon!! Sorry for not posting I’ve been swamped with requests)

Made this just so I could post something TT sorry for the inactivity college is kicking my ass

Spideypool headcanons!

Deadpool is a HARDCORE Miku Stan, like actively gets into brawls with people who say anything less than glowing about Miku. Forces Peter to watch his full combo sets on pjsk

Peter Parker is autistic yet the one who vocal stims the most is wade. They are so hasn’t spoken in 24 hours autistic x hasn’t been quite for more than 2 nano seconds in the past week ADHD coded

Wade once stapled his mask to his face in a fit of insecurity while sitting on his apartments bathroom floor. Peter was horrified and helped him through the process of removing the staples despite wades reassurances of “I do stuff like this every day, it’s no biggie.”

Peter plays a lot of video games but the one he loves the most is animal crossing since he’s played it since childhood and he loves to use it to wind down after a long day of superhero antics.

Therefore after any particularly rough patrols Wade and Peter will go back to Wades apartment and play Animal Crossing: New Horizons with couch co-op

It’s actually how they found out about each others secret identities.

After a rough day of college classes Peter just wanted to play AC with his friend Deadpool but in his delirious half asleep college student mind he forgot to grab his suit and went to Wade’s house in his civilian attire.

Wade comes back from like grocery shopping or something (idk) and sees that somehow a random brunette twink is now breaking and entering into his state of the art security apartment

It’s all good though after a quick few minutes of them both being like “wtf”

Anyways Peters favorite villager is Pedro and Wades is Katty

Peters favorite form of physical touch is when people rub the back of his neck (it’s particularly sensitive bc of his spider bite and senses)

Summary: you’ve caught Beau’s eye Word count: 1k Warnings: Beau’s horny for you but there’s no actual sexual content TT A/N: reader has he/him pronouns, No use of y/n, reader referred to as Bonito/Chiquito/etc. cowboy… oc…. 😼😼

In the distance the sound of galloping hooves could be heard as they stuttered to a stop, a familiar albeit annoying voice following after.

It was the middle of summer and the Californian sun burned the back of your neck as your hands continued to hang up wet laundry to dry.

“Hola bonito~” came the low baritone of non other than Beau Tannen, a cowboy who often came by your home for the sole purpose of attempting to charm and flirt his way into your pants.

“How’s the summer heat been treating you Chiquito?” He asked, and even though you weren’t facing him, you could feel Beau’s eyes trail from your tight fitting shirt to your worn jeans.

Beau was a known flirt in your town, he’s had his fair share of flings with women and if you were to walk into any bar almost all the saloon girls would have their own stories to recall.

However, no one had ever seen him steal glances at another man. Not until you came along, moving into a quaint town house in the middle of the small western community.

“Beau.” You replied flatly, not even turning to face the cowboy as you continued hanging the freshly washed laundry. “What brings you to my little home?”

He laughed at you words as if you’d told a particularly funny joke and brushed a loose strand of curly black hair from his eyes, staring back at you a little longer than necessary.

His eyes trail down to the laundry basket balanced precariously on your hip before snapping back up to the back of your head.

“Am I interrupting something?” He asked, inching his way towards you, the spurs of his boots clinking. He looks into your basket of wet laundry, before looking back up at the side of your face, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “Need any help with all that or are you too busy to talk with me?”

“Will helping me shut you up?” You asked with a teasing smirk, finally turning to fully face Beau. His smile widens at your movement, glad to finally see your features.

“You’re so strong chiquito.” Beau praises, changing the subject in reference to the monstrous load of laundry. “Is this all yours?”

You raise your eyebrow at the strange question, grabbing a sock and hanging it on the clothes line. “I have friends over… they came into town on that new train.” You explained.

“Two of them brought their kids and now I can hardly make my way through my house without bumping into someone.” You complained with a tired sigh, shifting the laundry basket off your hip before shoving it into Beaus’s arms and grabbing a worn jacket from the pile.

Beau didn’t complain at you shoving the basket into his arms, instead his grin widened- shuffling the laundry basket to get a better view of your face.

“Ah so you’re babysitting?” He chuckled. “Does this mean I’m not going to be entertained for awhile? I might get bored Chiquito.” Beau lectured playfully, leaning in slightly towards you.

He raised an eyebrow, his expression turning more flirtatious. “I know something that’d be far more entertaining than chores…”

“Actually doing your work vaquero?” You asked with a smirk, pinning up another article of clothing as you ignored his innuendo.

Beau huffed teasingly, rolling his eyes. “I’m working as we speak Chiquito. I’m flirting with you aren’t I?” He asked, using a free hand to pair up a two miscellaneous socks in the laundry basket.

Beau folded up the sleeves of his shirt, revealing his muscular forearms as he balances the basket in his hands.

“What could be more work than trying to charm a man with your pretty face, hmm?”

You sighed exasperatedly at Beau’s teasing, running a hand down your face as you surveyed the clothes line in front of you.

“I’m flattered Beau… but with my friends and their families in town I’m much too busy to continue our conversation…” you sighed, taking the basket back from his arms, before pausing. “Unless…”

Beau looks at you intriguingly, crossing his arms. “Unless… what, Chiquito? I don’t like to be teased you know.”

“Prove to me cowboy that I wouldn’t be making a mistake and then maybe- just maybe I’ll give you a chance.” You smirked, hastily hanging up the last of the wet laundry.

He stared at you for a long silent minute, his brain running over the words you’d just said. Was it true? Could you finally bring giving him the slightest chance to court you? “How can I refuse an offer like that bonito?” Beau chuckles, uncrossing his arms, laying his hands to rest next to his belt buckle.

“How bout you come to the ranch tonight? After everyone’s gone to bed…” he smiled, leaning in closer to you so that there was only a mere few inches between you.

You made a show of thinking over his words, biting the inside of your cheek as you thought. Eventually you spoke up.

“I’ll see you then vaquero…~” you smiled with a wave, walking to leave as you approached the steps of your town house. “Don’t disappoint me.”

Beau tipped his hat towards you, his smirk growing as he silently (for once) saddled his horse.

“You’ll be far from disappointed chiquito.” He grinned, flashing a canine as Beau and his horse cantered off.

Summary: you’re always there to pull him from his thoughts Word Count: 432 Warnings: mentions of war and fighting also NOT BETA READ (someone please be my beta reader lol) A/N: Jojo stop posting fics from obscure/dead fandoms challenge impossible edition also idk why I’ve been posting so many x readers lately but Ty all for eating them up!! Mwah!! Xoxo

John stared at the wall of your shared living room. He sat eerily still on your couch, slumped slightly as his gaze bore a hole into your shag carpet. Hell you’re pretty sure you haven’t seen him blink for the past five minutes.

You’d seen this look with John before. He was stuck in his own head, reliving moments from years ago. Mind lost in the jungles of Vietnam, hiding, killing, and surviving on what little he had while his body remained un-moving in front of your entertainment console.

“John…” you hummed quietly to make your presence known. Gently- as to not spook him like some wild animal- you wrapped your arms loosely around his neck and pressed your face against the crook where johns neck met his collarbone.

He flinched involuntarily, mind snapping back to reality as he registered your body against his.

In an instant, John relaxed, melting into your touch. He leaned back every so slightly to get more of your bare skin pressed against his, savoring the touch.

“What are you thinking about?” You murmured into his ear, already knowing the answer as you pressed a gentle kiss to his stubble covered jaw, one of your free hands coming up to gently trace his cheekbone, attempting to calm and reassure him.

John let out a slow exhale, his chest rising and falling with the deep breath. He took a moment to appreciate your touch, a brief piece of tranquility that came to him rarely in civilian life.

“…’Nam…” answered John, his voice a low rumble that resonated in his chest.

Johns words pulled at your heart, a frown threatening to form on your lips as you turned around to fully face him, intent on getting him out of his own head.

“How about we think about something else hm?” You asked quietly. “Like how much I care for you?”

John let out a small amused huff. There was a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth like he was trying to suppress a smile.

“You’re always tryin’ to distract me.” He noted, leaning closer to you.

“Is it working?”

Johns eyes flickered down to where you sat in front of him.

“You know it is.” He grumbled, tone begrudging but not unkind. He shifted slightly where he sat, attempting to pull you into his lap as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Good.” You smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek and curling up in his embrace, enjoying your partners close proximity.

‘Mission: successful.’ You hummed to yourself, content to stay where you were forever.

Summary: Wade discusses his next target his mercenary gig has assigned him, Peter doesn’t quite agree Word Count: 1.5K Warnings: Crude language (Its Deadpool guy c’mon) A/N: this is based off the comic book series of spider-man/deadpool!!!

“Now webs don’t be mad at me…” Pouted Wade, his feet dangling over the side of the building they were currently sitting on top of. “But I need your help with something…”

“What Wade?” Peter asked, not even looking up from his foil wrapped burrito. He shuddered. “I’m not helping you manscape again.”

“You know how you work for Parker industries?”

Peter chuckled inwardly to himself. ‘Work for Parker Industries’ was certainly a way you could view it. If it wouldn’t completely destroy his secret identity he would’ve told Wade by now he was the CEO and founder, but Peter bit his tongue, knowing it would do more harm than good for the merc to know such knowledge.

“Yeah…?” Peter continued, not liking where this conversation was heading as he took another bite of his dinner, his mask shifting slightly so he could take a bigger chunk of burrito-y goodness.

“Can you help me kill the CEO?”

Peter choked on his burrito, coughing furiously as he attempted to clear his lung of the salsa he just inhaled.

“You want me to kill me- My boss?!” He asked, catching himself before he could prematurely spill the beans on his true identity.

“I knew you’d be mad!” Pouted Wade, dramatically leaning towards Peter. “I know you don’t agree with my thoughts on Peter Parker but I’ve just been given some crazy mad evidence to show you how right I am in my feelings!”

Peter stared at Wade silently, trying to decipher if what he’d heard was all true. ‘Evidence’? What ‘Evidence’? Last Peter checked he hadn’t been up to any devilishly fiendish activities.

“What exactly has…” Peter cleared his throat. “Mr. Parker done?”

Wade revealed a small USB from somewhere inside his suit (Peter didn’t want to think too hard about it) and waved it in front of Peter’s face.

“According to some very reliable sources-“

“Who are those sources Wade?” Asked peter, raising a dubious eyebrow.

“Very reliable.” Tsked Wade, booping Peter on the nose with the USB. “Now be quiet and let me monologue baby boy.”

Deadpool cleared his throat, and gestured to the nearby Parker Industries skyscraper. “according to my sources… Peter Parker’s newest technology- his web ware- has a component to control those who wears it thought’s…”

“Mind control man…” Wade gasped, waving his hands in front of an unamused Peter to get his point across. “Mind controoooolll……..” He whispered.

“So you’re going to kill him because your sources-“

“Very reliable.” Interjected Wade.

“Told you he’s plotting to control the minds of the entire populous of New York?”

“Now are you on my side?” Asked Wade, rolling over on to his stomach and kicking his legs back and forth like a little school girl.

“No Wade.” Deadpanned Peter, crushing the burrito’s foil in his hands and throwing it into a nearby trash can on the buildings roof.

“Peter wouldn’t do something like that…” He added, looking over at his skyscraper, trying to decipher if Wade really had reason to believe Parker Industries would commit such a crime.

Wade scoffed, obviously annoyed that Peter couldn’t see his side of the argument. Why was he being so defensive over his billionaire boss who like all scumbag CEO rich men would toss him aside? Spider-man was only a low level worker at Parker Industries shouldn’t he also rally against his boss like all red-blooded Americans…? Unless he’s already being mind controlled… OMG is spider-man evil right now…

Deadpool glanced over at Spider-man suspiciously, making a mental note to keep a closer eye on him.

Peter sighed, realizing that this argument would go no where like it always did.

“Look Wade, patrols over I’m going home.” Peter said, standing up and pulling his mask back over his face. “Don’t follow me or I’ll websling your foot to your skull.”

Wade watched Peter sling off into the distance, a frown etched onto his face.

Welp if Spidey wouldn’t help him, he’d just have to do it himself… And knowing Parker Industries that might be a tad bit hard.

Wade did his best impression of a cartoon robber, sneakily crawling his way up a large crystalline apartment complex in Brooklyn and using his tippy toes to stealth across the roof.

According to his very reliable resources this was the current home address of one Peter Parker- and if the two katanas and approximately thirty two other small weapons strapped to his body had anything to say- tonight was the night he died.

Using his best form of lock picking (using a muffler on one of his pistols and shooting the door until it opened), Wade made his way inside of the apartment complex, sheathing his pistol and carefully descending the long stair case.

The night was dead silent, a pleasant surprise when living in the big apple.

‘Must come with residing in the fanciest of fucking apartments.’ thought Wade to himself as he continued, avoiding any step that might creek under his weight. ‘Another reason to hate Parker- he was richer than Wade.’

After six whole flights and a good cardio workout, Deadpool was standing in front of the door to Peter Parker’s apartment.

This time he’d be more classy, using some of his high tech tools (courtesy of S.H.I.E.L.D) Wade was able to unlock the doors fifty locks in record time! (An hour spent sitting outside the front door and praying none of his neighbors decided to get a midnight snack from the local connivence store.)

Peter Parker’s apartment was surprisingly messy. Clothes were strewn out in piles and dishes were left in unclean piles dirtying up the sink.

Wade scoffed, if he wasn’t here to kill the guy he might’ve done the fellow a good deed and wiped down his counters.

The door to Parker’s room was left wide open, as well as a nearby window.

Wade kicked himself for not checking the perimeter more closely.

Shedding a quick tear for all the time lost breaking into this joint and with a convenient get away nearby, Deadpool glanced over Parker’s bedroom briefly, noticing the fluffy brown haired demon of a man peacefully sleeping in a messy bed.

Near the night stand laid an unsuspecting duffel bag.

Uh oh- Wade was familiar with this one.

Was it new villainous technology? Money he got from dubious origins? Human remains? Deadpool didn’t know, but he’d be damned if he didn’t find out.

“What we got here Parker…” he whispered aloud to himself as he pried open the duffel bag only for his eyes to land on a little red and blue spandex number he could recognize in his sleep.

“Spidey…?” Gasped Wade, looking confusedly at the suit discarded in the bag.

“Wade…?” came a gruff half asleep voice from behind him.

Deadpool moved on instinct, throwing a small dagger towards the voice without thinking before turning around.

Peter Parker was staring wide eyed at Wade. His body leaning to the left after he dodged the knife Deadpool had thrown.

The man who was now only in boxers Deadpool realized, glanced incredulously at the dagger sticking out of his wall, inches from his head.

Peter looked from Deadpool to the suit in his hands before sighing and shooting a web from his wrist to flick on the light switch, bathing the room in annoying brightness.

“You’re… no…” fumbled Deadpool, a disbelieving laugh pushing past his lips.

“Yeah…” smirked Peter, scratching at the back of my neck.

“But the technology! The evil plans!” Fumbled Wade, trying to tuck the spider suit into his back pocket for later and non erotic reasons. Peter gave him a look and shot another string of web at Wade to pull the suit back towards him.

“That’s why I want to know who your sources are and who’s been using my tech for their own gain.” Frowned Peter, grabbing some nearby sweatpants and pulling them over his boxers (much to wades displeasure).

“Sorry baby boy- can’t get past the fact you’re fucking Peter Parker.” Wade practically shouted.

“Look Wade… can this wait till morning?” Asked Peter, scratching at the stubble on his chin. “It’s four AM and I have to be up at six for a board meeting.”

“Holy Shit! You have board meetings!” Laughed Deadpool, who might’ve gone insane at this point if he wasn’t already.

Peter frowned at him.

“Wade if you let me go back to sleep I’ll let you sleep on my couch and eat my strawberry cream cheese toaster strudels in the morning.”

Like someone had pulled a switch in the enigmatic mind of Deadpool - he gave Peter a cheerful smile and snuck back towards the door.

“Sleep tight baby boy I’ll be here in the morning!” He flourished, kicking his leg in the air in a way that would make a ballet teacher have an aneurysm and flicking off the light switch with his steel toed boot.

With the room bathed once more in darkness, Peter’s tranquility was short lived as Wade pressed a gentle mask covered kiss to his temple and pirouetted out the exit.

Peter knew that come tomorrow, Wade and him would have to have a long chat but for now he was content to go back to sleep.

And for the rest of his days- Peter would ignore the little side of him that wished Wade had done more than a little goodnight kiss.