#dispatch katon ur

Phenomaman: I wanted salad, but Y/n and Robert said we're having burgers...

Sweetalker*Jokingly over the comm* If Y/n and Robert jumped off a cliff, would you?~

Camera zooms in on Phenomaman blank face thinks for a while...

Pom pom:... Katon-Ur!

Phenomaman stutters as he tries to explain, coughing into a fist

Phenomaman:  I-I mean, it depends

Brickhouse: Don't jump off a cliff!

Phenomaman: Well, I wasn't planning on it

Equilibrium & Brainbook: But if Y/n and Robert jumped, you would?!

The camera zooms in on Phenomaman's blank face again

Phenomaman's team: KATON-UR!?!

On a somewhat related note, Robert Robertson the III has started getting the world’s most unsettling heartfelt messages.

see i feel like the Z-Team would suggest it as a joke at first- like hazing, after he joins the team- and then never tell him once they realize how much he genuinely loves it.

Katon-Ur, the literal happiest he's been in months- cutting out letters and carefully plans out where to glue them: . . . :] Z-Team, suddenly overcome w/ equal waves of guilt and endearment: ...to our graves. "To our graves." "We cannot let this man know we were joking.."

i genuinely feel like Phenomaman would love scrapbooking, with pages of him and Blazer- forlornly sat on one of his shelves, or on the moon- pages of him and the team, kept in his Earth residence, maybe one of the melon baskets he ordered

Robert gets another card on his desk before shift starts, and inside is a collage of photos with him and the Z-Team that he was not aware were taken ↓ it just says, "MAnY grAtiTUde, 3rD RoBeErt" in magazine clippings- but Katon-Ur.. .er... forgot to sign his name

he's touched, once he finds out who it's from though!!!

Maybe its the weight of the situation? I mean its Chase put in danger like that.. plus thrashing that vendo was more thrilling and extreme right?

This one is definitely more subtle. Like its just Waterboy doing his job, in his usual awkward self, apologizing for incorrect actions—things he didnt mean to do. The thing is though, he can be deliberate if he wants to.

In this instance, it could be easily brushed off as him being silly, in the “must clean everything! its my job!” headspace, but the timing is too convenient. He cleans the fucking TV right when Phenomaman is on the news, broadcasting his hero hitting rock bottom. He even carries on despite the displeased remarks from people around him, apologizing but not exactly stopping either. Its kinda funny how he just stuck that washcloth over the newscasters face near the end.

Summary: Phenomaman does not understand the concept of a hammock.... Word Count: 700 Warnings: none, it's just silly!! A/N: Just a short little thing. I wanted to post something since it's been forever (almost a year since I posted a fic) I'm sorry don't crucify me college sucks ass

Phenomaman looked quizzically at the blue macrame hammock before the two of you, analyzing the lounger as if it weren’t just a rectangle of woven yarn.

“And you said this is a hammock…” he mused, glancing down at you from where he stood.

“Yes phenomaman, you lay in it.”

When you invited your SDN coworkers over for a backyard barbecue you hadn’t expected this to be the thing that enraptured phenomaman’s attention.

The burly man beside you stared at the hammock for a long awkward moment. It was almost impossible to tell what he was thinking behind those sleep deprived eyes.

From the other side of your yard you could hear Flambae cursing out Golem for attempting to touch the grill.

"...I'll be right back... Don't die." You added as a joke but the more you thought about it the more you hoped Phenomaman would take it seriously.

You were only gone at most five minutes, stuck brokering peace between two powerful individuals who could crush you with just their thumbs but held all the emotional intelligence of a tater-tot, when you turned back to the few trees that lined the fence of your backyard.

An annoyed sigh left you lips as your eyes fell upon the tangled mess of your hammock, phenomaman trapped inside like some poor rabbit in a hunters snare.

"Phenomaman..." You groaned, jogging over to try and untangle his strong limbs from the knitted hammock.

"I apologize friend." He spoke, his arm, caught in the yarn, stretched awkwardly over his head. "I seem to have gotten stuck in you 'hammock'."

"It's okay." You reassured, trying to push aside your annoyance to comfort the depressed alien. The next minute passed unsuccessfully as you try to pull Phenomaman's limbs free from the knotted mess.

"God what the fuck did you do to get this twisted up?" You mumbled to yourself, moving to straddle the hammock, one leg on either side of Phenomamans hips to get a better angle at the knot.

Phenomaman stares up at you, wide eyed and confused with you so close.

Finally with a loud grunt and a pull that would dislocate the shoulder of any normal human, you are able to untangle Phenomaman from the macrame mess of a hammock, the alien falling face first into the grass of your lawn and making no attempt to get up from where he laid.

"Here Phenomaman," You sigh, getting up from the hammock. "I'll teach you how to sit in it."

Phenomaman pulled himself up from the grass, a few green blades sticking to his cheek.

Slowly, so that Phenomaman could see each move you made, you placed your hand on the stretchy macrame hammock, allowing you to turn and sit, staring up at the man in front of you.

"Now you just-" Lifting your legs, you laid down in the hammock, glancing over at Phenomaman who stared at you with wonder as if you were some kind of miracle worker. "-Lay down..."

"Intriguing..." He mused. "Can we both lay in it?"

"You want... to lay in the hammock with me...?" You asked, looking over his large build that would make it almost impossible to lay together unless you were directly on top of him.

Phenomaman mimicked what you showed him earlier, sitting on a small stretched out section of the hammock before awkwardly laying down beside you shoulder to shoulder as the lounger pulled to try and accommodate you both.

Your face flushed as the hammock's tension forced phenomaman to shift beneath you, your body moving to lay on top of his chest.

"This is quite comfortable." Phenomaman observed, his voice directly in your ear. "I understand now why this woven rectangle is used for 'relaxation'."

"That's... great..." You sighed awkwardly, resigning yourself to your fate as you shift on to your side, attempting to get more comfortable, your head lying on his broad chest.

Phenomaman reached a hand up to your back, idly drawing small circles as he let out a low yawn.

"I could stay here forever." He mused, and you couldn't help but agree despite the number of superheroes currently trashing your backyard.

warnings: swearing, sexual references, written on my phone do format might be fucked

you were pretty sure the z-team had caught on that you were dating phenomaman. the quizzical looks and curious stares had helped tipped you off a bit. one time you swore that punch up followed you both as you both headed home for the day. and you were ninety percent certain that invisigal watched phenomaman kiss you in the entrance to the locker room.

it didn’t bother you. it was your relationship, you could tell who you pleased. phenomaman was less bothered about hiding your relationship. he was always showing his love for you in over the top ways.

to be honest, you were shocked that the z-team hadn’t figured it out sooner.

take now for example. you were sat on his lap in the break room while he fed you pieces of melon. while not your fruit of choice, you allowed him to feed you because it made him happy.