I didn't realize that this was about Project Hail Mary at first I just accepted that this was Ryan Gosling's fault and we have to kill him
Claire Keane

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@lemonbe
I didn't realize that this was about Project Hail Mary at first I just accepted that this was Ryan Gosling's fault and we have to kill him

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Project Hail Mary (2026) + Trivia
Wrestlers ar WAIT WHAT THE FUCK
POST CANCELLED. THE GOLF COURSE ACROSS THE STREET BLEW UP
HELLO????
The longer I live the more I realize I just wanna be well fed and bottom nude all the time
Ok and???? Was he or was he not our Cunt King
This is my new favorite compliment
“Cleaning the House” painting by Sally Welchman.

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Katie is thrilled to score tickets for the USA men’s hockey finals, but after a strange turn of events, she’s even more excited to find herself up close and personal with the team’s T-Rex star player, Flonto Breem.
The two set off on a first date, and things are going well, until questions about Flonto’s political affiliation start bubbling to the surface. It’s not long before Katie realizes that all the goodwill she’d felt for this dinosaur hockey player was misinformed, and that Flonto is a full on MAGA dork.
Looks like there won’t be any pounding tonight! Unless, of course, the USA women’s team and their star triceratops are somewhere nearby!
This tale is 4,100 words of sexless disappointment that the T-Rex you thought was cool is actually an authoritarian bootlicker.
----
please enjoy brand new tingler NOT POUNDED BY THIS T-REX ON THE USA MEN’S HOCKEY TEAM BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT HE’S A MAGA DORK out now. get it here or on tingleverse patreon
not putting my whole pussy into it today lads. you're getting my left labia at best
Having a dad with the most narratively tragic disease sure makes engaging with media difficult
tes THDPSSSSPS 💜
wgat did u say

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“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care
I just don't want anyone to steal my very cursed amulet
Also the amulet
I don't care if they're the highest grossing movies on planet freakin Earth, you say "Avatar" and everyone and their mom still thinks that bald little bitch and his magic cow. Soggy James can keep his millions, he'll never have the streets.
every time i ask people if they do any new years resolutions its all ooooo i dont like making them bc i fail or ohhhhh no i couldnt keep up wiht that and then when they ask me and i tell them about Pasta Quest (i am eating as many different pasta shapes as possible in the space of a year) or when i did Fruit Adventures (every time i saw a fruit i had never eaten before id get one and eat it and read the wikipedia article about it) theyre like hang on i forgot you can make Fun Ones i want a fun one
while i actually made this post back in May, since New Year’s is approaching here’s some of my fave suggestions from the tags if you’re looking for inspiration!
other favorites from the notes I didn’t get screenshots of at the time:
learn the names/species of local plants, bugs, and birds where you live (iNaturalist or Merlin the bird app help with this)
learn the rules to 10 new card games
steal the colored paint cards from hardware store paint aisles and use them to make art
try out every different apple variety you can find and rank them
similarly LOTS of people in the notes doing soup quests, and a few cheese quests also
similarly lots of people reading/watching certain amounts of media over the year, and tracking/rating it
track the number of cats/dogs/etc you see over the year
there’s plenty more in there too :)
this year I’m gonna grow things from SEED
Specifically tomatoes and maybe melons
[ID: There are Tumblr tags interspersed through the post. They read
biigmiikey: coulle years ago my roommate besties new years res was to be cozier, she got a new bed and rearranged her room and i was like damn that is a great resolution
emmagoldmanfanclub: last year i did sneeze count., i sneezed 1072 times in 2022
digitalcockroach: fr mine for next year is gonna be to read the wikipedia for every currently existing country in alphabetical order
cephalopodink: i do eat more pickles every single year. never regretted it. love eating pickled things., rabble babble, queuettlefish
abysswarlock: only time I did something like this was a resolution to look at clouds and try to see pictures in them at least once a day
prosocialbehavior: last year mine was to unsubscribe from all marketing emails, maybe this year ill do a fun one
t4ttragedy: one year mine was just that every time i felt the impulse to compliment someone i would actually do it, and that was like 3 years ago and i just kind of kept doing that
eevee-williams: my 2018 one was so fun, i learned to make all the classic cocktails, i don’t do it a lot any more but i still do it sometimes, today i got home from work like ‘you know what would fix me? tequila sunrise’, and brother i was so right about that. it’s fixing me
beatnikfreakiswriting: yeah! the year i turned 21 i made my new year’s resolution ‘wear more red’. It was fun, i wore way more red. i like red., year after i did ‘wear more green’ and you know what? I did that!, i now wear both red and green frequently.
akinari-kashihara: Mine was to enter every free giveaway I could nothing btw, I’ve won nothing btw
attractivegkry: I’m going to spend more time in my hammock, once I’m done with school I’m going to visit people and LOOK AT BIRDS when I’m there
blueberrytruth: saw someone on tt whose resolution was to see every artwork from acnh in person, which is a very cool resolution if you have the means to travel
anawkwardblue: I think I’m gonna try weaving!, and making fairy houses for the woods
heylabodega: One year mine was to cook with more butter and the next it was to wink more.
moonspren: one year i asked for book recommendations on Facebook and read every single one, it was interesting but i recommend only doing this with people you trust, i read some shit books that year
hrududil: this year my goal was: 30 cat selfies (with different cats), and also: every time i get boba i get a diff flavour :)
kavat: this year my resolution was to wear more silly little outfits and i think im doing well
khezhatkhaleesi: a couple years ago my reso was to be slightly less of a lil bitch about eating chilli and i did it!!!, got a chilli in my dinner the other week that would have ruined my night in the past but i just barely even blinked
cikero: my most successful one was be nice to bugs, and I still do it :)
bastardclownbaby: yes!!, i am doing Wear All Of My Clothes which is not only fun but useful in helping me figure out what to actually get rid of
yu3s: txt, my new years resolution this year (last year?) was cat journal where i wrote a journal as a cat going on an adventure and saved cat photos, and every cat my friends sent to me or tagged me in i put in the adventure also! like as an apothecary owner cat or a baker cat etc!, got busy and stopped doing it but cat journal will be my resolution next year >:3c protagonist is wizard cat and it will explore the world!
nopeferatu: my new years resolution is to suck and fuck, just kidding i dont really want that, my new years resolution is to make myself like avocados :)
/end ID]
2025 wrap up: odd news edition
it's that most wonderful time of the year again - time for a 2025 headline wrap-up!
Did they task the vampires with hanging up the flags 😭

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i’m building a database.
pourquoi du pain est masculin mais la baguette est féminine....... la baguette est transgenre ?
je vais laisser la communauté parler:
la baguette, icône trans?
oui
non
eh bah
10k notes pour un post francophone sur tumblr macron où est mon poste de ministre de la culture