wait, what

i don’t have a type, if we click we click

stop letting miserable people on the internet convince you that you must have a concrete, well-constructed opinion on everything that has ever existed.

everybody say thank you Marcus Aurelius

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

Put this in the comments but it needs to be said here too. I am so mad D20 did unsleeping city before Mamdani was mayor. Can you fucking imagine.

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

Sorry for acting perverted and insane, it’s because i’m perverted and insane

its a "penis out" kind of night

i don’t need to say it

don’t say anything. just reblog this if you’re thinking of exactly that thing when you see this picture

damn your cock looks heavy, wanna rest it on my face?

Sweeney Todd is a wonderful musical about the universal human experiences of bad dick jokes, waiting for packages that were meant to arrive ages ago and putting up with just so much shit from a guy only to not even get any dick in the end

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring