what a great day to remember that ilya rozanov and shane hollander are equally down bad for one person and one person only and that's all we'll ever see play out on our screens
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@reheated-rivalry
what a great day to remember that ilya rozanov and shane hollander are equally down bad for one person and one person only and that's all we'll ever see play out on our screens

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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hello ilya 🥰 / ?
before dick and kisses
after dick and kisses
from 😾 to 🙂: an ilya rozanov guide to keeping your shane happy
after dick no kisses
If there's one thing the Centaurs were not prepared for when Hollander joined their team, it's just how much of an asshole he is. Like, pretty early on Shane's first season with the Cens, Dillon misses a pass from him in practice and Shane immediately goes "did you leave your contacts at home?" in a perfectly bland, inoffensive tone and Dillon, genuinely confused, says, "I don't wear glasses..." and Shane immediately retorts with "well, you clearly need them so I'd schedule an eye test" and then just skates away with the puck while the rest of the Centaurs are left gaping behind him except for Ilya who is folded over with laughter
thinking about Shane's first pride night with the Centaurs ;u;

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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we have to stop moralizing the human condition and start jerking each other off while making out
I have had so many bad takes on this post and not only is this a breath of fresh air, I’m gonna kiss you for it, you get me
I think we should figure out what age we’re living in now so we can say how it’s collapsing to each other
Our age of plastics is collapsing
Our age of information is collapsing! *remembers generative AI, nods to self* our age of information is collapsing.
my head 24/7…
ilya edging shane until he's crying and when he tells him to "use the magic words" to come, a delirious shane says "I love you" and ilya is the one who comes right away
Hollanov canon au Shane gets outed but no one can identify the guy and they decide to hide ilya’s identity until they don’t have to worry about his Russian passport only now there are a bunch of men coming forward claiming to be the guy and so Shane has to state the guy who will remain anonymous is his long time partner and then guys online keep trying to convince him that they wouldn’t hide/to break up with that guy and Ilya is basically foaming at the mouth at this point.
He counts down the days and as soon as he doesn’t have to worry about russia he starts posting online asking Shane Hollander to pretty please consider him for his next boyfriend and Shane visibly flirts back and people are going crazy because does this mean that the other guy is out of the picture or???
Only they post a picture of them together a few days later that reveals Ilya was the guy all along and the internet explodes
“I can believe I asked Shane Hollander if Ilya Rozanov could fight I just barely escaped with my jaw intact omg”
”sorry I said I was better looking than your boyfriend I have taken my humble medication”
”what kind of power does hockey robot Shane Hollander hold to pull rose landry AND Ilya rozanov???”

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Woke Boston Fan after Ilya and Shane are outed: Guys what the fuck are we gonna do when Rozanov plays in Boston? We always boo him for being a traitor and leaving us for Ottawa, but apparently he did it for love?? I don’t want people to think we’re booing because we’re homophobic! Can we wave the rainbow flag while we boo him?
Ilya in an interview: It’s so sad that Boston doesn’t like gay people. 😞 I guess they just don’t want to see gays win. 😢
Ilya who, whenever Jurrasic Park or any sort of dinosaur movie is on, takes a picture of the TV and sends it to Scott Hunter with a "good game" or "did not kow you were playing tonight".
Scott just lets out a long sigh everytime and counts to ten in his head.
He ends up on the same flight to New York as Shane after an away game in Ottawa, with Scott going back home and Shane travelling for the launch of a new Rebook store in New York.
And Scott can't help but laugh when he sees what the in flight movie options are. At Shane's curious look he waves at the small tv screen and explains the bit Ilya has going on. And Shane, just for a second, gets this weird glint in his eyes before offering Scott one of his earbuds with a smile.
"Want to rewatch the game with me instead?", he asks, holding up his IPad. And, why the hell not, Scott thinks, there are worse things than reviewing their game with Shane (even though he doubts Shane will share any of his strategical thoughts with him).
So, Scott takes the earbud and settles into his seat. Only to be hit with the opening notes of Jurrasic Park five seconds in.
a knight lives to serve
to serve
to protect
to love.
HR SEASON 2 ANNOUNCEMENT! They’ve officially cast The Weevil!
It’s rumoured that The Weevil will have a minor but nonetheless impactful role in the continued narrative of our explosive stars, Shane and Ilya. The young bug’s team has issued a statement on InstaGrain noting how excited he is to embody the fan favourite character.
I regret to inform you that due to recent scandal, the young rising star has been recast. It’s a true shame, but ultimately the actor taking the role is the lesser of two weevils..
the thing is that Shane LOVES when Ilya is an asshole and he is right there with him. he's joyfully participating. he's setting him up for jokes so he can enjoy the punchline when Ilya delivers. they're gonna be cuddling on the sofa watching a game and tearing every single player to strips while giggling and jerking each other off. asshole4asshole relationship 💖

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
my publisher: Good morning! Huh did you advertise for the pre-sale yesterday? Because we launched twelve hours ago and we already made sales!
me: yeah, i posted on tumblr
publisher: .........tumblr?
me: that's where the gays are.
(link to Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a sapphic western)
update
publisher: And what is your marketing strategy on... tumblr?
me: idk, i shitpost at 2am?
publisher: .....and it works?
me: depends on what the gays find funny at that point in time.
publisher: Could I have a link to your tumblr?
me: .......absolutely not.
(link to Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a sapphic western where 50 year old women kiss and murder)
update!
publisher: I've been looking into tumblr, have you thought of using Blaze to promote your book?
me: NO
publisher: But it seems like an efficient way to get this in front of more eyes-
me: people on tumblr hate Blaze.
publisher: There is no algorithm and you can't pay to promote a post? I don't understand how anyone advertises anything on tumblr.
me: That's the best part. They don't. They can't.
(trying to make him understand that we do not control the attention. We just have to show something shiny and gay enough and if people are interested, they'll reblog.)
(Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a deconstruction of the colonialist cowboy mythos dressed up as a sapphic romance.)
wait guys we’re all going to live watch season 2 together…
like we’re going to be a year into getting to know each other and becoming friends and we’ll have all these jokes that we’ve made to watch the show through the lens of and the first time we see #fingersinhismouth or a #stringofspit or #hispanties dash is going to explode and i cannot fathom the amount of fandom joy that will occur