designated drinker

absurdist tgirl taking Estragon

cutting your own hair is fun because a) if you mess it up you can tell people "well, i did it myself" and they will instantly understand that they should not be holding your haircut to hairdresser standards b) if you DONT mess it up then whenever you get a compliment on your hair you can say 'thanks, i did it myself!' and they will think you are even cooler than you already are. trust me works every time.

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

sorry the fact that lestat went and bought halloween candy- and still went to give it out despite the fact he was in the middle of a breakdown- just for kids to show up at his door dressed like his dead daughter and two of his exes. absolutely killing me.

Ireland is the only country in Europe

you look like you can hear the difference between the normal album and the new normal. faggot

i’m not against vaping, but man, vaping two inches from my face on the subway is a ridiculous asshole kind of move. this dude was billowing like he was auditioning for the role of haunted house fog machine. the humidity in the whole car changed, he was ruining haircuts. just jump starting the water cycle. condensation was dripping down my glasses. people were slipping off poles, it was chaos. it was like watching one man try to terraform the moon. a planet with one dense, root beer scented atmosphere blocking out the sun and choking all life. 

i consider this a sort of prose poem to be honest

The Corruption

Occasionally forget people genuinely think capitalism is thousands of years old

One time I was talking about Robin Hood with some coworkers and one guy was like “he was bad because the people he helped learned to expect handouts” and I wanted to be like… okay can you explain how that flawed capitalist propaganda applies to feudalism

reminder that capitalism was literally invented in the 16th century

That’s an exaggeration. What was invented in the 16th century was mercantilism. Capitalism really dates for the beginning of the nineteenth century, with the rise of industry and cash crops over artisans and merchants. Vulture capitalism, with the notion that companies have no duties other than generating profit, is even younger.

Capitalism is only 200 years old and I have to say, they have not been an impressive 200 years

An alarming amount of people seem to think capitalism = all trade, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

bro lemme show u how sex REALLY works *picks up large rock from forest ground*