I don't wanna be your hero

“H’lo?”

“I think bartenders are supposed to cut you off when you become incoherent, Tommy,” Buck said playfully.

There was a bit of static on the line, then a heavy breath. “Wh… what?”

“You know, in all the time we were together, I don’t think I ever saw you drunk. Tipsy, maybe, but never drunk.”

“’M not- I… hold on a s- second.” There was more static, then a bang that had Buck pulling the phone away from his ear. After a few seconds, things settled back down. “Not drunk,” Tommy said, managing to get the words out this time. “Just a little s- sleepy.”

“Mm. And you, uh, you felt the need to ask me about guardian angels in the middle of your nap?”

“Got you t- to answer me, didn’t it?” he asked cheekily.

Buck couldn’t help but smile, rolling his eyes. “Got me there.” He turned off the potatoes he had boiling on the stove, then walked over to his couch and sat down. “So, why are you asking me about guardian angels? Have a weird dream? Or was it all a ploy to get me on the phone?”

Buck could hear Tommy huff out a laugh. “No,” he answered after a moment. “No, I… when I was five, I was, um, I was walking to school and I- I was about to cross the street when this m- man appeared right in front of me. Stopped me dead in my tracks. And right then this car, it came out of nowhere and zoomed right though the intersection. T- The guy turned and smiled at me and said, “watch out there, kiddo,” and I turned to see if there were more cars, then w- when I turned back he was gone. Just gone.”

Buck waited for Tommy to continue. After a few seconds of silence, a confused Buck asked, “Did yo- you dream about that or something?”

Tommy sighed. “No, I jus’ rem’bered it.”

“I… Sorry, Tommy, I- I don’t really get it.”

Another sigh, this one a little raspier than the one before. “Then my parents d- divorced when I was ten and I- I would have to go back and forth with mom ‘n dad and I- I hated it. Dad espec’lly. One time, I was twelve, and I got in the car with my- my dad and I thought, ‘I wish the car would explode.’ I didn’t even care that I was in it, ya know? I just n’ver wanted to go with him again.”

Buck’s heart dropped. “Tommy.”

“No, it- it’s fine. I- on the way home there was a man st- standing on the side of the road with a sign. It said 'There’s a reason you’re here.'” He let out a laugh, which quickly turned into a cough. Once he settled, he continued. “It was so cheesy. So s- stupid, but it was enough. And the man, he l- looked right at me and I swear. I swear, Evan, it was the same man. Ev’ry time my dad picked me up, I thought about the sign and the guy.”

“That’s weird,” Buck said, eyebrows furrowed. “Neat, I mean, but… weird.”

“Yeah.” There was another lull in the conversation, and more static through the line, then Tommy continued. “I saw him a- at other times throughout my life. Um, I- when I was in the army. My base, we- we got hit one night. No one s- saw it coming. I was going to sleep, half out ‘f it and I heard a noise. Opened my eyes and saw a shadow walking out o… of the room. I thought- I thought someone was playing a prank. I got up, followed the shadow. Th- The first strike, it- it hit right where I was at not even thirty seconds later. I- I would’ve died. Found out, um, I- there was no one else around at the time.”

“You think it was the same guy?”

Tommy hummed. “I sound crazy, don’t I?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Didn’t have to.”

“Hey, I’m allowed to believe in curses, you’re allowed to believe there’s someone out there protecting you.”

Silence, then, “Ev’n?”

“Yeah, Tommy?”

“I… it… nv’rmind.”

“Tommy, are you sure there isn’t a bar I need to pick you up from?”

“Not drunk,” Tommy reminded him, and Buck could almost see his smile through the phone.

“Right. Okay.”

“Saw the same guy wh- when Howie saved me. All those y- years ago. Right b’fore I passed out, saw him running towards an exit. I couldn’t keep up.”

“Does this man age?”

“Nope. Not a day.” Another loud thunk over the line, then no sound at all.

“Tommy?” Buck looked at his phone to see if the call dropped. Once he saw he was still on the line, he put the phone back to his ear. “Tommy? Can you hear me?”

A few seconds later, there was sound again. “S’ry,” Tommy slurred. “Hit mute.”

“It’s fine.”

“The day you, um, got- got struck by uh, by lightning. I saw ‘m that day too. Out my window on th- the street. I was s’pposed to work but I go got sick. Could barely leave the bathroom long enough to get m’cine n’ I finally-” he paused, taking a breath. “Finally got to the kitchen. Lightning flashed and I looked out the window. There he was. Split second. Got a t- text right after that asking me if I could come in. Didn’t answer that night.”

“Probably for the best. Tommy, really, I can pick you up if-”

“I saw him the day I went to meet you at the cafe,” Tommy rushed out. “I parked my car and I- I was just sitting there. I wasn’t- I wasn’t going to come. I was… I was gonna text you an’ say I couldn’t make it. I look up and I- I saw him staring at me. He looked… disappointed. I hurried t- to get out my car but I- by the time I shut the door behind me, he was gone.”

“Did something smash into your car while you were with me or something?”

“What? Oh!” Tommy let out a small laugh. “No. No, nothing happened to the car.”

“No wrecks or disasters you would have gotten into otherwise?”

“No.”

“Well, your guardian angel wasn’t exactly saving your life that day.”

“Oh, Evan,” Tommy replied, his voice softening. “I disagree.”

Buck sucked in a breath, curling up tighter on the couch. “Tommy.” He hesitated. “Why did you text me?”

“To ask you a question,” Tommy replied dryly. “Which you still h- haven’t answered, by the way. So… do you believe in guardian angels?”

Buck thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. “I don’t know. Why?”

Tommy coughed loud and hard, ending with a wheeze. “I wasn’t supposed t- to work today. Got asked to cover for the 118.”

Buck sat up straight. He nearly had to go into work tonight. Got a text from Chimney at the last minute that they’d gotten enough people from other stations to cover. More than half the crew from C shift was out with the flu. A few others were on vacation. Most of B shift had used up their allotted overtime. If they hadn’t been able to get people from other stations throughout the county to come in, Buck, along with the rest of the team, would have been working.

“Tommy-”

“I never say yes. I did though. I know- I knew you needed a break. I-” another coughing fit took over, and Buck was standing up.

“Tommy, what happened? Where are you?”

“Fire’s out,” Tommy replied and, for the first time, Buck noticed it sounded like his teeth were chattering. “But the building c- collapsed. I’m st- stuck. There’s lot- lotsa blood.”

“You’re gonna be fine, Tommy,” Buck said, practically running around the house to find his keys and wallet. “They’re gonna get you and I- I’ll meet you at the hospital, okay? I’ll find out where you are from Chim. Stay on the line with me, o- okay?”

“I jus’ wanted t- to ask… ask you if you b’lieved ‘n them.” His words were slurring even more. Buck jumped in his car, sending a row of panicked texts to Chimney. “Cause I saw- saw him today and th- that’s why I said yes to- to work.”

“Then you’re going to be fine,” Buck assured him. “You said it yourself. He keeps you safe.”

“No,” Tommy groaned. “No, Evan, I- listen to me. I realized something.”

“What? Tell me, Tommy. Just keep talking.” A text came through from Chimney, then another. Buck barely had time to glance at it. Something about how Tommy was buried under five stories worth of rubble. The crew was working on getting to him, but he stopped responding on the radio a while ago. Buck was pretty sure the third text said the word Presbyterian, so he headed in that direction.

“I- I don’t think… I don’t think he’s my guardian angel anymore.”

“I- I don’t understand, Tommy. What are you talking about?”

“I think… Evan, I think he’s yours.”

Buck heard what sounded like the phone dropping onto the ground. “Tommy!” he yelled. “Tommy! Tommy, answer me!”