I'm A Symptom of Someone Else's Sickness

Like - putting aside the question of whether the amount of fanfiction a piece of media receives is an accurate reflection its cultural impact (I abide by the fanfiction moss analogy, sometimes good media just does not beget transformative work), looking at AO3 for numbers just feels disingenuous. AO3 was operating in 2009 but in my memory it wasn’t really in vogue during the time that Avatar 2009 was in theatres. If you’re looking for fanfic based on media from the 2000s, I find that Fanfiction-dot-net is the better website to look at; Castle 2009 only has 4,808 fics on AO3 at the time of writing, but it has over 23,600 fics on Fanfiction-dot-net. It’s not that Castle 2009 had no cultural impact, it’s just that AO3 wasn’t the website being used when that show was in the zeitgeist to capture that cultural impact.

Make her shorter if you must

Make them exactly the same size and shape but different colors

Give him a huge flock of babies following him around to show off what a great lay he is

Surprise mPreganté

Exactly the same but one of them has a cool hat (you decide which)

Give her a sensible haircut for successful hunting while he has a big dumb mullet so big and dumb the food can see him coming and book it

Have more than two sexes

Have only one sex

Have two sexes but on a slider

Have their sex change over time

The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.

The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...

The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.

The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).

The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!

The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...

The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).

VHS — permanent marker on paper, 23 × 30 inches, 2010