Jennifer Ehle as GABRIELLA
THE VAMPIRE LESTAT | Toledo

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@le-red-queen
Jennifer Ehle as GABRIELLA
THE VAMPIRE LESTAT | Toledo

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Bad sex scenes are fun to make fun of but I think one of the easy reasons they are frequently awful is that there's no narrative energy to them. I picked up on this by studying combat scenes and I think the problems that show up are really similar; there's this thing writers do where they treat these kinds of sequences differently than the rest of their work, the scenes feel like they exist outside the regular narrative and writers just pause the story while they happen. People are always complaining about fighting and sex in stories being "boring and a waste of time" and that's not an inherent function of these mechanics, that means writers aren't approaching them with the same thoughtfulness as the narrative, and the audience can feel it.
The sex is an interaction, and interactions should illuminate things! It's still beholden to the plot/characterization/worldbuilding rule, we should always be communicating some kind of new information or reinforcing what is already understood. You are having 2+ personalities strip down and communicate with their bodies what are they SAYING. It doesn't have to be anything profound, even just communicating to the audience "i think this person doing this thing is hot" counts; wanting the reader to get off to something is a perfectly respectable goal that can keep us on track if you're aware of it. But the writer so frequently has NO IDEA what they're actually trying to say, what the goal of the scene is beyond fucking or fighting, so we end up with bland interfacing between characters who could be replaced by any other characters doing the same thing anywhere else. It isn't hot or interesting to be directionless, pick an intention and go.
True. Sex scenes should have narrative beats. They should have ramping action and pauses and declining tension like action scenes.
My brotherâs friend went exploring in a mine shaft and found a ringtail and thought it was a âsketchy ass catâ and decided to pet it and it bit him and he had to go to the hospital for rabies shots DONT DO DRUGS KIDS
Bringing this back cause itâs amazing
How does this have under 1k notes
WTF DO YOU MEAN THIS ISNâT A HERITAGE POST
@satan-offical thoughts?
if this becomes a heritage post my life would be complete although i feel i should provide some more context as this post begins to blow up:
-the video is from a time before sharing files across devices was trivial, which is why it looks so bizarre. my brother took the original video which i believe was a snapchat video which somehow got uploaded onto my parentsâ computer, where my brother showed it to me. i immediately recognized the comedic gold and insisted on getting my own copy, so i re-filmed it on my own digital camera, which is why my brother is narrating what the video will be about before it starts. i then managed to get it onto my tumblr through a series of dark magic rituals. this is why it has an old mac toolbar AND a weird caption AND a vidlab watermark. simpler times indeed
-i was not involved in the act of exploring an abandoned mine shaft (extremely dangerous, do not do this) or touching the wild animal (extremely dangerous, do not do this) or hanging out with my brother (extremely dangerous, do not do this) and i do not endorse any of the behavior depicted here. leaving me notes and comments explaining that this was a bad idea is not a productive use of your time. i have known that everything my brother and his friends do is stupid and dangerous my entire life but at least in this instance we get to enjoy the fruits of their poor choices
-preston was fine. he was scratched up and got some rabies shots but this was not the first, last, or worst injury incurred by a young man who decided to follow my brotherâs recommendations for what would be a good and cool idea to do. (his best friend was taken from our house to the ER six times over the course of middle and high school.) to my knowledge the ringtail was also fine despite his encounter with the cast of temu jackass.
-THIS IS PRESTON, GETTING EATEN, BY AâŠ.SKETCHY ASS CAT. MILESUNDERGROUND
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
đŹ Peter Jackson
+ IMDb trivia (FotR trivia) (ttt trivia)
bonus

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Saint Pierre text posts (6 of â?)
A new option for anyone with a veeeeery long doc or complicated outline (and no desire to look at all of it at once) -
Collapsible headers!Â
Turn them on in your Editor settings (Toggle headings), then click / tap the arrow beside any H1âH4 header to tuck that section away, safe and sound.
When you create a new header, just hit Enter, and itâll become collapsible too.
Collapsible headers work in both the editor and on Reader links, so you can use them while writing, outlining, and editing; or to help your readers stay focused on one section at a time. We particularly love them for temporarily pretending the previous 86,491 words in a doc donât exist (at least, not until the editing phase). đââïž
Free for all, woohoo!
And another smol but mighty update this week: You can now change the email address associated with your account directly from your Settings page.
Just enter the new address via Change email under Account details. Done n' done!
- the Ellipsus Team xo
Too pretentious to jerk off Tried to engage in my sexual fantasy but the narrative was to unrealistic and the dialogue was out of characterAnd trite
if you grew up in france in the 2000s, chances are that in school you would cry laughing saying "la quéquette à jacques chirac" or "le zizi de sarkozy" (depending on the year you were born) while doing this gesture (referencing the penis of now former french presidents jacques chirac and nicolas sarkozy)
now the question i'm asking is if it was a wildspread practice in other parts of the world (this gesture and referencing your country's head of state's penis), or if it's just typically french
Pandora Sphinx Moth (Eumorpha pandorus), family Sphingidae, OH, USA
photograph by Diane Platco Brooks

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Daddy Long-Legs: unlike spiders, these arachnids can eat solid food, and they have an omnivorous diet that includes mushrooms, berries, and seeds, along with invertebrate prey
Harvestmen, otherwise known as daddy long-legs (not to be confused with the cellar spiders of family Pholcidae, which are also described as daddy long-legs) bear a striking resemblance to spiders, but they actually belong to a separate order of arachnids known as Opiliones. These strange-looking creatures have eight legs, but only two eyes, and their body segments are largely fused together, giving the body a noticeably rounded, pill-like appearance.
Above: Metagryne bicolumnata, commonly known as the bunny harvestman
There are roughly 6,700 known species of harvestman, but researchers estimate that a total of more than 10,000 species may currently exist. Their physical features vary greatly from one species to the next; some harvestmen have crab-like claws, spikes, thorny legs, elongated bodies, colorful features, or cryptic markings. Most of them are equipped with long, spindly legs, but there are some that have shorter, stockier limbs instead.
Above: Megabunus diadema and two unidentified species from family Sclerosomatidae
Unlike spiders, harvestmen have an omnivorous diet that includes fungi, fruit pulp, seeds, pollen, lichen, algae, and invertebrate prey, and they are capable of consuming solid food, whereas spiders are typically carnivorous and feed only on fluids.
Above: a harvestman from genus Chasenella munching on a mushroom-cap
As this article explains:
Harvestmen consume mushrooms, fruit pulp, seeds, and seed appendages more frequently than spiders probably because they are âsolid food feeders," which means they can ingest solid tissues by biting off small pieces. In turn, spiders are âfluid feedersâ and feed on vegetable matter most frequently in the form of fluids (e.g. nectar, stigmatic exudate, plant sap, and honey dew) rather than fungal or plant tissues.
Above: genus Marthana
When given a choice between fresh fruit or invertebrate prey, some harvestmen actually prefer the fruit:
Schaus et al. carried out a feeding trial in which the Neotropical harvestman Erginulus clavotibialis was given a choice between fresh pineapple and live invertebrate prey. This harvestman demonstrated a distinct preference for fruit over the invertebrate prey.
Above: Dentobunus quadridentatus
Harvestmen are also much more social than spiders, and the males of some species have been known to engage in paternal care, which is a trait that rarely occurs among arthropods:
Single fatherhood is the rarest form of parental care in nature. Still, males are often the sole caretakers of progeny among a number of species of daddy long-legs, also known as harvestmen. In these species, fathers are exclusively responsible for guarding eggs that females lay on the undersides of leaves; the males remain on the eggs nearly constantly for months.
Above: several harvestman eggs and a young hatchling
When threatened, harvestmen often bob up and down erratically in an effort to confuse their attackers. They also have several other defense mechanisms, including pungent, foul-tasting secretions, the ability to "play dead," and autotomy, which is the ability to discard one or more of their own limbs in order to escape from predators.
Above: the photo at the top shows an unidentified harvestman from family Cosmetidae, while the photo on the bottom shows a species from genus Gnomulus
Harvestmen are completely harmless to humans. Their mouthparts are far too small to penetrate human skin, and contrary to popular belief, they do not have the "world's deadliest venom" -- in fact, they don't produce any venom at all.
Above: genus Obidosus
Sources & More Info:
BioOne: Fungus and Fruit Consumption by Harvestmen and Spiders: the Vegetarian Side of Two Predominantly Predaceous Arachnid Groups
Laboratory of Arthropod Behavior and Evolution: Harvestmen
Argo Biology: Citizen Science Reveals How Devoted Harvestman Dads Evolved Again and Again
NBC: Daddy Long-Legs Paternal Care Pays off in Longer Life, More Sex
PLOS One: Paternal Care Decreases Foraging Activity, but Does Not Impose Survival Costs to Caring Males in a Neotropical Arachnid
Gulo in Nature: Are Daddy Long-Legs Venemous?
iNaturalist: Harvestmen
Iâve been silent for too long and can no longer bear to keep this inside: @menocchio-final-final is a good person and deserves many good things.
it bothers me that you often don't really hear about people having a "favorite album" the way they might have a favorite movie or favorite video game
fuck it. reblog this and tell me in the tags what your favorite album is
Movie! Zaphod its just đ©đ©đ©
people should remember that the word "hunk" exists
no, unless he's a young father, that's not a dilf, that's a hunk. If you want to call a childless man a dilf, at least make him middle aged
no, that's not a bear, that's a hunk. Bears must be fat and hairy
no, that's not a himbo, that's a hunk. Himbos must be dumb, beefy and kind simultaneously, if he's just dumb and beefy that's a hunk
like, cmon people, there's nothing wrong with a humble hunk. Why are you so mean to him?

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whatâs your favorite ship?
titanic
hms terror
uss enterprise
ever given (the container ship that blocked the suez canal in 2021)
captain ahabâs whaling vessel
ship of theseus
battleship monopoly token
mclennon
Little fish eats his foodsÂ
(Source)
this is so sad he doesnât even know thereâs a double barreled shotgun pointed at him
Pacific spiny lumpsucker (Eumicrotremus orbis)
His Foods :) đ