Both options convey that he's horny

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

WTF this is masterful, 10/10.

Other people have said this in notes, but the Bulwer-Lytton contest involves writing the most absurd opener you can think of and submitting it to the contest. It's not a judgment like the Razzies or the bad sex in books award or something; it's a game. Diana Murtaugh of Baltimore is to be congratulated for this win.

The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?

lmao i’m reading this essay from the 1580s that mentions how if you were wearing a big elizabethan ruff and you got caught in the rain it would flip up in the wind and hit you in the face, and then you’d have to spend the rest of the day with your stupid soggy ruff all flaccid on your shoulders. can you imagine. whole new potentials for pathetic unlocked

With live horse reaction.

I'm attending my first book club ever at work and they've spent 1% of the call talking about books before talking about something unrelated which has been for 15 minutes. I came so excited to talk about the book and there's been no book convo.

We're talking about books finally and there is one person owning the whole convo. And nearly spoiled next month's book. So you know...I'm not bummed I've missed every book club meeting up until now. I attended this one because I proposed our topic which we haven't gotten to yet.