yaoi webbed page

I cried at work today which wouldn't be as embarrassing since I work from home except I cried on a goddamn 1:1 zoom call lmao 😭

real ones will remember that back when we didn't have emojis we used to use chinese characters to do thumbs up 乃乃乃

how do u get over the fact that when ur creating something there's this side effect of creating a lot of junk/trash? like when ur physically creating sth, you get scraps of paper, fabric, wood, clay, paint chips etc etc and even digitally you get scrap sketches or sentences that just take up physical storage space and it's just a byproduct of the creative process that you kinda have to learn to sit with. but then it's like i just feel like im generating trash and only trash. even the ending result is paperweight that takes up space that eventually turns into trash (like how ur parents don't keep ur childhood drawings and sculptures etc)

Yesterday evening I accidentally had caffeinated tea and normally I can't ever fall asleep if I have caffeine past noon but I forced myself to go on a jittery run until my HR hit 160 within 5 minutes so that I can fall asleep at a reasonable 1am .... and then i woke up from a. Nightmare I guess where a foot fetishist peeled my socks and started stabbing them with a paring knife. So what I'm saying is that the effects of caffeine can only be positive