My Corner of Tumblr

going to get my blood tested and dr acula and nurse feratu walk in. hope everything is ok

i fucking hate being an adult with a slowly increasing number of responsibilities its like one day you wake up and youre like aw fuck when was the last time i descaled the coffee machine

"theres gonna be a power outage tomorrow welp i better boil some water in advance!" "oh gee looks like its time to vacuum the carpet!" GET REAL?????? YOU SOUND INSANE

someday youre gonna be out of baking soda when it matters most and its gonna destroy you

my friend asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend because her parents are homophobic af but they ended up hating me so much that they were glad when she said she was gay task failed successfully

congrats on being so awful a boyfriend you destroyed homophobia

Can a pro piracy girl and a pro physical media boy really fall in love

Yeah she pirates it and he converts it to physical media it's a match made in heaven and they're t4t also

middle schooler obsessed with using perfect grammar online -> adult who uses like every text abbreviation possible

Master the rules then grow beyond them obviously

if I were doctor who showrunner I would instigate a policy that every season should have one episode where the stakes are so low. like the worst possible outcome is our characters are incredibly embarrassed, just some good low stakes shenanigans (pranks, good-natured competition, etc) however I would also instigate a policy wherein every season should have one episode that lacks violence entirely but is still so wildly fucked up and unsettling that you are afraid to go to sleep that night and haunted by it for years to come. these two episodes CAN be back to back. 

Just seen a bathroom sign that says "Femmes". Unsure if this is woke or not.

Update: the mens room says Hommes. This seafood restaurant is safe from the "woke mob" but not from the dastardly Frenchman

Young people and old people's complacency and acceptance of autoplay terrifies me if I'm finished a video and another begins playing THAT I DIDN'T CHOOSE I'm already loading my gun

Science needs to put me in a brain scanner so they can see the Evil Lobe light up whenever Im fed an autoplay video or unskippable ad

being in the pool while it’s raining should be considered an emotion

that emotion is called Being A Frog

In 4th grade, my bff was in a death feud over chess with a boy in our class but instead of competing like normal people they decided that the best way to determine who was chess master was for each of them to select one of the two biggest idiots in class and teach them to play chess, My Fair Lady style, and see whose idiot won. We are just now, 22 years later, grappling with the moral implications of this exercise.

copper my beloved

rose gold, brass, bronze, what cant she do

beautiful base colour, beautiful patina, and it mixes to make beautiful alloys. 10/10 best metal.

When you need to work in an atmosphere where a stray spark could cause an explosion, you switch out your steel tools for copper alloys since it conducts heat much better and thus won’t spark easy.

So when Tumblr user @mono-red-menace​ hypes up copper, it’s a 60k-note banger, but when I, Ea-nasir,

“why don’t you just…?” the answer is either money or anxiety

or the Bone Pharoh

90% of the time it’s money

10% of the time it’s the bone pharoh

Plus his name was Henry and he called himself Indiana after their dog that he loved, so could even be Henrietta Jones and still call herself Indiana and NOTHING NEED CHANGE AT ALL. 

I’m a woman and my last name is Jones?? What the literal fuck

Your name is Jonesette now I’m sorry.

Ms. Indianana Jonesette and the Queendom of the Crystalle Skullabella.