your heart is a muscle the size of a fist

I love living in 2026 because I go to Home Depot and buy a 5-gallon bucket for $4. I say I do not want an email receipt. They know my email anyway because I once ordered a mop online. They email me to ask how I like my 5-gallon bucket. I do not reply. They email me again. They would like my feedback. Reminder ‼️I have purchases to review. Did my 5 gallon bucket live up to my expectations? 3 minute survey!!

Who died and made you the headcanon peer review committee.

hey, tag this with a food people get really upset about you not liking

tumblr-style performance art

I love when you recognize junji ito’s style and you read on not knowing if it’s going to be horrific or just cute cat stuff

most men have two fuckable holes. some men have three. but, against all odds, julius caesar (100 BC to 44 BC) managed to amass an astounding 25 holes by the time of his death

i do not know much about final fantasy but from what i understand there is a beautiful blond twunk in there who deserves to get pregnant right about now

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit

"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."

I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.

everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing

They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined

Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman

Hey this was a real fun little read. It's so great to find these treasures on this site

We’re happy to have you!