fight me

I am a social worker. I have worked in community mental health and in home-based healthcare. And it is much, much easier for me to help you when the situation you're in is not yet a full-blown crisis.

"I'm out of money and have been for a while and now I haven't eaten for three days." This is a crisis. A crisis where I'm likely going to have to put you in the car and take you to the nearest food bank--except food banks require appointments now, and the next opening is in four days, so you're staring down the barrel of a week with no food. That's obviously not going to work, so, let's call eight different food banks until we've found one that has an appointment the next day...except it's in the neighboring county and you can't drive. So now I'm calling your doctor to try and brow beat an emergency plan of care update out of him so I can come back the next day and drive you to the food bank. And we haven't even started on the "constantly broke" part of the problem.

"I don't think I have enough food to make it to my next paycheck. I have (xyz) in my house and that will only last until (date)." This is bad, but not a crisis. We have a few days. We make you an appointment at the food bank and contact your brother to make sure you have a ride there. Now we can spend our visit talking about what bills are causing you the most problems and make a jump on a long-term solution, like looping in a community action agency to cover your utilities and getting you an OTC card from Medicaid to cover some of your groceries every month.

"I'm ten months behind on rent, and my landlord said I have a week to get out, or the cops will throw me out. I don't have the money, and if I get evicted, I have nowhere to go." This is a crisis. Every single thing we do here is going to be some version of a Hail Mary. In Michigan, we have the state emergency relief fund for rent issues, but process time is well over one week. There are community action agencies that we can call to assist you with payment, but they are unlikely to have sufficient funds to cover nearly a year of back rent. We can contact legal aid clinics to try and prevent your landlord from evicting you, but they may look at your case and determine that too much "fault" lies with you. Most likely, I'm going to have to put you in touch with homeless shelters and the public housing office.

"I'm two months behind on rent and I don't think I'll be able to pay next month either." This is bad, but not a crisis. This is solvable. We have time to apply for SER, or put you in contact with community action agencies. We have time to review your finances and see if you qualify for a public housing wait list or other forms of ongoing rental assistance. We have time to talk about a million possible adjustments to try and ease the burden of your rent.

"I am the sole caregiver for my elderly parent who has dementia and is emotionally volatile and fully dependent on me. I have not slept through the night in weeks and I have not had an actual break for over a year. I am having screaming meltdowns multiple times a week and I am threatening self-harm unless someone comes to collect my parent and take over all caregiver duties." This is a crisis. This is a crisis where the ethical code of my profession demands that I call 911 and report the conversation to them. They will likely come to the house and interview you. If they determine your threats were serious, they will have you forcibly committed to a psych ward. Your parent will either be dumped into a random hospital or rehab center, or left in the house on their own. Upon release from your psych hold, you will be expected to resume caregiving duties as though nothing happened. Except, now, adult protective services is actively investigating you, because it was determined you may be an ongoing danger to your parent.

"I am the sole caregiver for my demented parent, and I have not had a break in a couple of weeks, and I feel angry and weepy most of the time." This is bad, but not a crisis. We can get you in touch with volunteer groups for respite, and apply for state funded programs to get more day-to-day help, and talk about long-term planning for when the dementia symptoms get worse. We can get you the phone numbers for crisis lines and enroll you in a support group.

If you are looking for LEGAL AID, pull up a browser and type in "Legal Aid" followed by your zip code. You can even add in your specific problem. Example: "Legal Aid for DUI 48006" or "Legal Aid for evictions 48006"

If you are looking for affordable MENTAL HEALTHCARE, pull up a browser and type in "community mental health" or "mental health authority" followed by your zip code. Most have psychiatric care to handle your medications, but call ahead to double check.

If you are looking for assistance with your BILLS AND/OR RENT, pull up a browser and type in "utility bill assistance" or "rent assistance" or "emergency financial assistance" followed by your zip code.

If you are looking for FOOD, pull up a browser and type in "food banks" or "emergency food assistance" followed up your zip code. Most of them will be churches. If that makes you uncomfortable, I'm sorry, but that's how this shithole of a country works.

If you need help with several different things, pull up a browser and type in "community action agencies" followed by your zip code. If you are disabled or over the age of 65, you can also try "area agency on aging" followed by your zip code.

If you are looking for assistance with AFFORDABLE HOUSING or if you are HOMELESS, pull up a browser and type in "public housing commission" followed by your zip code.

If you are looking for PRIMARY HEALTHCARE, pull up a browser and type in "community clinic" or "free clinic" followed by your zip code.

"But how do I get a social worker?"

Most therapists at a community mental health org will be social workers. If you have a primary care physician, they may be able to refer you to one. If you are a recipient of public benefits such as section eight, food stamps, Medicaid, or cash assistance, you may be able to get case management through a community action agency, your local DHHS office, or your Area Agency on Aging.

You can also go to your local library and ask for community resource directory or help locating the particular assistance you need. Another thing to try is contacting your city hall and speaking to an operator. They likely have some sort of community outreach committee or somebody else they can connect you to.

Oh.

This is even sinking into cars now. Used to be, you'd only have to deal with something truly bizarre when you drove a French car. Anyone who was doing that already knew they were asking for it. Oh, Marcel, your new car has a phone number pad instead of a windshield wiper stalk? That's so chic. Please stop driving on the sidewalk.

Now, with the advent of screens, everyone can have the same experience I have on my phone when they want to turn on the seat heater, or change the radio station. A ghost can come in over the airwaves while you're sleeping and move all your shit around in the name of metrics. Oh, you want the tachometer? We decided nobody was using it, so it's gone. Opening the glovebox? That needs a swipe gesture now. I would vastly prefer the old state of affairs, where I buy a car and it stays the same for twenty years until I try to pass a snowplow on a blind corner past midnight in March.

if you absolutely must, in primarily muscle force-based sports, create competitive classes like in boxing except separated by body comp, not just pure body weight. i mean, if you must. this will eliminate any tiny advantages in muscle mass. some will say basketball should have height classes but frankly some of the NBA's most impressive players were not tall so idk that this actually matters ever

the primary athletic impediment to all women is overwhelmingly cultural and psychological. i have won probably half the physical competitions with cis men that i have engaged in, friendly or otherwise. even without the benefit of a lifetime of people trying to make me throw or hit balls, i have won wrestling matches, sparring matches, funny backyard foam sword fights, video games, equestrian activities, dance, endurance tests of various kinds, etc. i'm small and weak. men think theyre stronger and more skilled than they are, women think the opposite about themselves

humans just arent that differently-sized or -shaped, as a species. we have almost no sexual dimorphism at all compared to the vast majority of other mammals.

animals that have similar levels of sexual dimorphism to humans, for example cats, dogs, and horses, do not generally have competitive events segregated by sex. the dog agility trials dont normally have separate leagues for male and female dogs (gendered competitions exist they're just unusual). because it doesnt matter. there is no kentucky derby 2 just for girl horses. thats not a thing

what's your favourite kitchen appliance?

do you have a collection of anything?

what's the best job you've ever had?

what's the worst job you've ever had?

what's your favourite piece of furniture and where did you get it?

what's your go-to recipe when you want to make something that requires minimal effort?

are you married or do you intend to get married?

do you have kids? do you want them?

are you on good terms with your parents?

do you have siblings? do you hang out with them?

do you vote?

what's the biggest purchase you've ever made?

what are your hobbies?

what's a hobby you'd like to get into?

do you collect anything?

how long have you known your oldest friend?

are you a member of any clubs or associations?

have you ever changed fields in your career or education?

how many wisdom teeth do you have and have you had any removed?

what's your favourite beverage?

do you have any living grandparents?

do you have nieces/nephews/godchildren/other kids in your life that aren't yours?

what's the coolest place you've visited?

what's your most recent degree and has it been useful to you?

would you rather own a dishwasher or a laundry machine if you could only have one or the other?

do you make a list before going to the grocery store or just wing it?

what's your favourite household chore?

what chore do you hate the most?

do you have houseplants and how are you at keeping them alive?

He gives his harness bells a shake.

What will survive of him is love

A sudden blow: the great wings beating still Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun, I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.

He stepped in harm's way with his hands up, using his body as a shield to protect his neighbor.

If you've never read Thomas Sharp's "The Running Towards," written for the London Fire Brigade, I think that you should, and you should think of Alex Pretti as you do.