Just call me...

americans are sooo desensitized to guns and sometimes it manifests in ways that affect your media literacy. like remember in the first episode of sherlock when john watson opens up his drawer and you see a gun in there and youre supposed to understand that this is narratively significant and conveys his suicidality as well as his willingness to skirt rules and laws but the first time i watched it i was like oh well theres his desk gun. lots of people have those

Please give credit to Matthew Cortland, the disabled lawyer and activist whose work is reflected in that last screenshot. They work hard on documenting what Trump and his cronies have been doing & they deserve credit.

Mommy's going to take you out of the freezer and leave you in a room temperature environment, ok? Awww you're already dripping condensation... There's a puddle gathering at your base, my leaky little condensation slut.

can you put that on a coaster

No. I want her to see all her little circle stains on the table...

okay thats cute and all but this table was my grandmother's so i would really appreciate it if you could stop and actually consider other peoples belongings for 2 fucking seconds

But both Mommy and my little condensation slut gave our condensent so like I feel like I shouldn't have to ask for yours... I guess I could get like a new table or whatever but it's just not the same if it isn't mahogany.

okay red what the fuck do you mean "condesent"

Not everyone can easily come up with ideas for things to post every day

then just don't??

you obviously dont have 100+ followers and need to keep them happy

i didnt realize the situation you were in and i apologize for the callout

can youguys do me a favor and send a lot of hate mail to this user

does ringo starr still have the elf stones or did he return them to the silverwood? i know there was a pressure campaign a few years back

obligatory I'm Not An Elf but the pressure campaign always struck me as well-intentioned but misguided - like at a certain point it veered somewhat into an overzealous application of cultural appropriation without recognizing the context in which he came into possession of the elf stones. *generally* if I come across a human with an elven artifact then I'm side-eyeing that shit hard, but Ringo was very deliberately gifted the elf stones in a gesture of goodwill and cultural exchange (plus gratitude for everything he did!!!). I know 2016 was a different time altogether but idk I think about that a lot.

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

can we focus on the gnome for a second

wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat

these are the people i have to share a highway with

I took off my own glasses and that cat DOES look like a gnome with blurry vision. You can see the little hat and beard

"Peggle make phone calls" has become shorthand for "fuck it, whatever" for me but no one ever knows what im talkingabout and it's also longer (longhand?)

forbidden blue raspberry candy

thank you for coming to my this #mythis

love when mario loreheads point to the baseball games' "chemistry" mechanic like it represents interpersonal relationships and not the thing the mechanic literally is (how well characters can work together on a baseball team)

"did you know that toadette hates bowser more than mario does" well no, she's less capable of playing baseball with bowser than mario is. that's different

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad