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current state of the internet is a FUCKING EMBARASSMENT. was chatting with my grandma bout the history of crochet and knitting (and the comparative ages of those respective technologies) and i was like "oh YEAH and also that ancient greek fiber art we partly figured out from chemically testing the scoured bleached pigments of stolen statuary (tumblr knows what im talking about)—gimme 30 seconds to look up the name."
5 minutes and 3 search-engines later i am crying tears of blood screaming spitting blubbering in despair as my grandma attempts to digitally pat me consolingly on the back. the library of alexandria didn't burn it was "restructured" to "increase shareholder profits"
i am scouring the internet like the victorians scoured and destroyed all trace of joy and color from stolen relics for the LOST NAME OF THE ANCIENT PROCESS of textile-creation akin to knitting/crocheting/nålebinding that at least one academic/crafter used to recreate the leggings on this Glorious Motherfucker:
the google execs erased it. they bleached my bestie AGAIN from history...
Archer statue from the Temple of Aphaia (ca. 480 BC) next to a reconstruction of its original paint job:
The leggings and sleeves would have created using a method called SPRANG which predates knitting and is over 3,000 years old. What's even sexier is modern artisans managed to recreate the entire outfit using the original method!
Mmm-HMM, love me a shapely thigh in harlequin hosiery. Put👏men👏in👏clingy-ass👏clothing👏again👏👏👏
Unfortunately english sources are hard to find, partly because Google's a shithole, but also because this textile project comes from a German museum, in Germany, where people tend to speak (and publish) in German. That said, the original link is to a short-but-sweet article I would have had no problem finding in 30 seconds a mere few years ago. fortunately i have clever beautiful insane people following me, but alas not everyone has such luxury. thanks to everyone in the notes who shoved themselves down this rabbithole with me!
in conclusion let us take a moment to sincerely wish Google a very burn in hell🙏
When #myshane retires, he doesn’t go into coaching or podcasting or whatever.
He becomes a consultant who shitty teams trying to not suck, good teams who want to last further into the playoffs, great teams who want to finally win the cup, call to Fix Them.
He is paid absolutely bonkers amounts of money to watch a team play for five minutes and immediately diagnose what’s wrong with them. He is always right.
Ok 5 minutes is probably an exaggeration. The coaches send him a bunch of tape to review in advance. They probably focus on their best players or the ones they think need the most improvement, but half the time Shane requests more, focusing on players they hadn’t paid much attention to before. Then one day at practice, the players look up into the stands and are filled with awe, terror, and wonder, because Shane Hollander is sitting there staring directly at them with a scarily thoughtful look on his face.
He meets with the coaches and gm and reports his conclusions. Who to trade and for who , how to get better results from certain players, how to run power plays and penalty kills, changes in line makeups.
Some lucky players get to meet with him. He takes about five minutes to list off or demonstrate everything they need to do to stop sucking. He has no time for chit chat or hero worship. Focus, listen, learn, and do exactly what he says and you will be good. Fail to do what he says and you will shame your entire bloodline.
I think that, if he’s not the one actually playing, this would be a dream job. It involves Knowing Things About Hockey, Judging Shitty Hockey Players, Getting Recognized As The Best at Hockey, Being Correct, and Making Hockey Better. He should get to do all these things
Have a little thing I wrote a few months ago that I think was meant to become something longer but very likely never will.
~
Ilya’s confession about his mom still lingers, the raw truth of it mingling with smoke rising up from the fire. Shane’s not sure if he should say anything else – and Ilya seems happy to let the cry of a loon snuff the conversation – so he doesn’t. Their fingers slip through each other on Ilya’s shoulder as Shane thinks about how Ilya is funny and beautiful and sometimes he thinks he might be sad.
Ilya’s eyes have drifted closed and Shane thinks he might almost be asleep, until he says, “Tell me a secret.”
“Like what?” Shane says, thinking he doesn’t have anything to give that could possibly match ‘I was witness to my mother’s lifeless body’.
“I dunno. I told you one, you tell me one. Baby Shane secret, when he was twelve.”
Rose had asked him something similar, when they first met. Where was Shane Hollander at eight years old? – the same age she had been her first time on screen, the same age as Ilya when he still had his mother. Having fun on the ice, had been his answer. Maybe not having so much fun off it. He grapples for something to share, a piece of information that seems worthy, from a period in his life he really only remembers in disjointed scraps of blurry emotions, insignificant events and things he used to own.
“Uh…I ate lunch in my gym teacher’s office every day for like six months.”
Ilya shifts in his lap, turns onto his back, looking up at him. His eyebrows climb into his loose curls. “He touched you?”
“Ew, no! What the fuck? No, gross. It was a woman, anyway, Coach Waters.” The question gives him pause just for a second. He’s heard enough about Ilya’s childhood; what’s one more horrifying thing at this point. “Wait, no one ever–”
“No, no. I was just kidding.” Shane gives a flick to his pec for the poor-taste joke, a sharp sting right over his nipple. “Why was your teacher your only friend? You were bullied? All the other children said you were boring? Or you were too cool for them? They were jealous because you were so good at hockey and they all could barely walk without falling over like toddlers.”
“Shut up,” he volleys back, with little heat, thinking that all of Ilya’s proposed reasons are approaching the truth but not quite there. “I don’t know, I had a hard time making friends, I guess. I had hockey friends…teammates, but at school I wasn’t cool enough for the popular kids and I wasn’t enough of a loser for the unpopular kids.”
“Mm, I think having lunch on your own makes you a pretty big loser.”
“Fuck off. You wanted to hear a secret, you don’t get to be mean about it.” At the last second, he stops himself from saying ‘I wasn’t mean about yours’. He’s reaching out to pull at the eyelashes on his left eye before he can stop himself, a tick he’s trying to bury. “Anyway, it was whatever; I kind of liked the quiet.”
“Then what happened, after six months? Other children realised they were missing out?”
“Oh, I went to a new school. An athletic academy.”
“Fancy. And you made friends?”
“Yeah,” he shrugs off the memories and pulls at one of Ilya’s curls, straightening and releasing. “I guess hockey friends and school friends were the same thing after that. Some people seemed to like me, anyway.”
“I would have had lunch with you, I think,” Ilya sighs, turning back to face the fire, ”when you were twelve.”
It’s a nice thought, even if Shane’s not sure it’s true. He had been quiet, awkward, singularly obsessed with hockey and occasionally a little too confident about it in a way he hadn’t recognised had probably been perceived as arrogance until years later. And Ilya – before his mother died – Shane is sure was confident, loud and gregarious in that way that Shane would have worshipped from afar or resented for seeming so effortless. After, he wouldn't have known what to do when faced with Ilya's grief.
“I would have shared with you,” he says anyway, because that sounds even nicer.
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I fully believe that Shane and Ilya cannot agree on an anniversary. Shane says it was the All Stars weekend because that's when he thought they were both 100% serious about the relationship because that's when he was, Ilya says it was the cottage when they said "I love you'' because he didn't believe in it until that moment. They find this out the first year with Shane's anniversary date when Shane plans an elaborate secret date the last night of All Stars and gets Ilya gifts, and Ilya has no idea what its for. They agree to disagree on the date, "We will just celebrate twice a year, I guess." It happens again with their wedding anniversary, Shane says its when they legally got married, Ilya says it was when the twins married them because he doesnt care about about being officially married in the eyes of Canadian law he cares about the first time they said "I do". They find this out when a reporter asks them about their wedding and when they had it and they both gave different answers. Once again they agree to just celebrate twice a year. They say it is because the date doesn't really matter and both of them are right in some way, but in reality it is so they can compete on who plans the more romantic, thoughtful, and elaborate anniversary date. And so that they don't fight about who's planning the date this year or making conflicting plans by accident.
I will preface this analysis by sharing I am an a-religious religion scholar, literature scholar, and linguistics scholar (to a lesser but significant extent) through higher education and on-going self-directed study. I'm also an author IRL, again taught the craft of fiction through higher education, post-college study, and self-directed education.
Michael Sheen and David Tennant give an incredibly moving performance. What sits wrong in my gut about the final installment of the TV version is how it contradicts and rewrites what exists in both the novel and how Good Omens 1 and 2 accurately represent what's in the novel. This post explains my interpretation. Fiction can have many equally valid interpretations based on facts from the text.
I'm going to begin by quoting every mention of free will from the novel, some of which contains relevant information about other aspects of the novel that GO3 contradicts or rewrites.
And that'd be that. No more world. Just endless Heaven or, depending on who won, endless Hell. Crowley didn't know which was worse.
(...)
But there was no getting out of it. You couldn't be a demon and have free will.
***
It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.
***
And just when you'd think they [humans] were more malignant than ever Hell could be, they could occasionally show more grace than Heaven ever dreamed of. Often the same individual was involved. It was this free-will thing, of course. It was a bugger.
Aziraphale had tried to explain it to [Crowley] once. The whole point, he'd said (...) was that when a human was good or bad it was because they wanted to be.
***
[Humans had] come up with some stomach-churning idea no demon could have thought of in a thousand years, some dark and mindless unpleasantness that only a fully functioning human brain could conceive, then shout "The Devil made me do it" and get the sympathy of the court when the whole point was the devil hardly ever made anyone do anything. He didn't have to. That was what humans found hard to understand. Hell wasn't a major reservoir of evil, any more than Heaven, in Crowley's opinion, was a fountain of goodness; they were just sides in the great cosmic chess game. Where you found the real McCoy, the real grace and the real heart-stopping evil, was right inside the human mind.
***
I DON'T UNDERSTAND, he said. SURELY YOUR VERY EXISTENCE REQUIRES THE END OF THE WORLD. IT IS WRITTEN.
"I dunt see why anyone has to go an' write things like that," Adam said calmly. "The world is full of all sorts of brilliant stuff and I haven't found out all about it yet, so I don't want anyone messing it about or endin' it before I've had a chance to find out about it. So you can all just go away."
***
Then [Adam] said: "I don't see why it matters what is written. Not when it's about people. It can always be crossed out."
***
Humans have free will according to Good Omens. True free will, but the thesis of Good Omens 3 is that they don't. The actual issue is that angels and demons are beholden to the toxicity of Hell and Heaven toward them. Aziraphale and Crowley don't have the freedom humans do to "be on their own side."
God's ineffable plan is always framed in GO1 and GO2 as separate than the Great Plan the Metatron tries to push through. GO3 makes God complicit or, perhaps, the architect of the Great Plan. This conflation retcons what is already well-established.
In GO1, both Gabriel (head archangel and lacky of the Metatron) and Beezlbub (Duke of Hell and Satan's lacky) argue the Great Plan is necessary, Heaven and Hell's final war to prove, once and for all, which side is stronger. It's to take place on Earth as the apocalypse that will destroy Earth.
As Adam says in the novel, humans wrote this idea themselves and can cross it out. In GO1, Aziraphale questions Gabriel and Beezlbub whether the Great Plan is God's ineffable plan. The answer is clearly no, and both sides stand down. The God of the novel and GO1 is not the God portrayed in GO3.
In the prologue of GO2, Aziraphale informs Angel!Crowley that the universe will be shut down after 6,000 years. This introduces a new element that seems to be part of God's ineffable plan. In and of itself, it's a problem that can be solved according to the philosophy wrought through the novel and GO1.
GO3, however, frames the issue as humans not having true free will due to the interference of Heaven and Hell and, ultimately, God. This frame directly contradicts the novel and GO1's philosophy that humans indeed have free will, that God doesn't "play games with the universe."
The frame of GO3 should've been, to be consistent, about the dissolution of the Great Plan, dismantling of Heaven and Hell's bureaucracy, and God -- Her presence expressed through Her voice rather than as a physical manifestation -- agreeing not to end Her creation after all.
Jesus, after experiencing humanity again, likely would've (or should've) been part of arguing the case with Crowley and Aziraphale. Theologically (as Christianity eventually developed), Jesus is also God, one who had a human experience and compassion for all humanity.
Because of the compression of a six-hour story into ninety-six minutes, plus a rewrite by people other than the original novel's authors, GO3 was unlikely to be a continuation and ending consistent with GO1 and GO2. This phenomenon isn't unique to the Good Omens TV series but many TV series where the original creator and showrunner leaves (for whatever reason).
At the end of GO2, the story promise is that the Second Coming will be Heaven's attempt to carry out the Great Plan. As Crowley tells Aziraphale in GO1 after they helped thwart the apocalypse, the next attempt will be all of humanity against Heaven and Hell. Not God. Heaven and Hell.
Adam in Hebrew means man as in human. Genesis in the Torah uses adam to refer to humanity and to refer to a specific human, Adam. The choice of naming the Antichrist in the novel Adam is not about reflecting the first human but all of humanity. Adam is human at his core. He has ultimate free will, and he understands humanity also has true or real, to use Crowley's GO3 word, free will.
Jesus and Adam Young in the original six-episode GO3 had a subplot. I hope that Adam's conversations with Jesus were largely about human free will and were consistent with the Adam of the novel and GO1.
Unfortunately, Jesus is essentially irrelevant in GO3. Remove him from the story, nothing changes. Truncating his role doesn't fulfill the promise of GO2, where his return is clearly meant to be inextricably connected to the events and outcome of GO3. The Book of Life replaces Jesus's role as the potential catalyst of changing Earth and existence as a whole.
Instead, Michael's anger at her lot in existence, at her lack of control, becomes nihilistic. Aziraphale seems to have circumvented the Great Plan once again, and Michael is the one who destroys existence by destroying the Book of Life. This character arc or plotline may well have been part of the original six-episode GO3, but its development and execution was likely different.
Aziraphale and Crowley need not have sacrificed themselves had GO3 remained true to the source material and the story setup in GO2. They needed to risk challenging God, yes, but the ask would not be to make human free will real. It is real. The ask would be been to restore creation without the arbitrary 6,000-year time limit, without Heaven and Hell's interference or existence.
The consequence -- the sacrifice and reward -- to Crowley and Aziraphale would've been the loss of their divinity and immortality. God wouldn't tell them as such, only that they would experience death as a consequence of their request.
Their disintegration would be a fake-out. We'd think they're gone, but Aziraphale would awake in his bookshop, Crowley in his Bentley, both utterly confused. They'd find each other and Aziraphale would say, "I thought we were supposed die."
Crowley, realizing the truth before Aziraphale, grins. "Oh, we will. Just not today, Angel."
"Do you mean ... ?"
"We're human. Completely flawed humans -- " he laughs -- "with the free will to be as stupid or as brilliant as we want."
"Our lives are our own," Aziraphale whispers. "To do good because we believe it's the right thing to do, not because it's an order."
Crowley says, "Well, what do you want do to now? Adopt a dozen orphans or something like that?"
"I want to dine at the Ritz." Aziraphale grasps Crowley's hand. "With you."
Crowley gestures to the Bentley. They enter. Next scene is the two former angels dining at the Ritz, a parallel to the end of GO1. They toast to the world -- "and," Aziraphale adds, "to us."
Then the show flash-forwards twenty years to their cottage in the South Downs. Nightingales sing. Crowley and Aziraphale have aged and their wedding rings are present, just as they are in the GO3 that exists. Their conversation is both mundane and profound.
They so loved humanity that they become human themselves. But as themselves. That's the inevitable conclusion I see.
They've chosen Earth and humanity since the beginning of Good Omens. Thus, they choose Earth and humanity at the end.
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today there was a “flash mob” set up by the seniors because it was their second to last day so they blasted the macarena over the loud speaker and did the dance in the main lobby but our headmaster knew about it so it wasn’t even funny but whilst walking past the elevator i found out why they really did this so called “flash mob”
dailybridgerton
pixelskylines
ellievsbear
