The Stupid Helmet

T7S actually shows us and tells us a lot about it. 😂 The following aren't really headcanons but descriptions of what T7S reveals.

They're adventurous within Donna's boundaries. This is not a contradictory statement. As long as she's thinks no one will catch or spot them them, she's happy having sex with Eric, it seems, almost anywhere.

They're playful. Role-playing is one example. I'm sure they're playful in other ways sexually (playfulness is a core part of their relationship), as long as Eric keeps his fingers away from a certain area. *ahem*

Donna takes control at times (not in a kink, BDSM sense -- although I can imagine them experimenting once with light kink and both of them realizing it's not for them).

They enjoy having sex with each other a lot. ... A lot. A LOT. (The S6 celibacy story arc, a redressed or rehashed version of their pre-"First Time" sex arc, was torture for them).

Jackie can be (but she's not a shrieky screamer during sex). Hence, Hyde puts on a specific record to obscure her voice when they're in his room at the Formans' (headcanon).

No pool ever mentioned. If it did have a pool, the guys would be all about it in the summer. The characters definitely would've mentioned it.

The fanfic author rebeldivaluv write a great fanfic exploring this scenario called It's Not Wonderful, But It's Life.

Unfortunately she took down her T7S fics because of real-world events. Fortunately, I have them. Unfortunately #2, they're currently on my laptop (which I'm not using regularly at the moment). Unfortunately #3, I have to respect her choice and not make her T7S stories publicly available (I don't know her personality).

If I wrote the scenario, it would be different depending on whether it happens after the S5 dumping by Jackie or the S7 dumping by Jackie.

But both versions of non-Jackie-fied Hyde would be even more emotionally closed-off abd guarded, have less trust in people, not have experiences of forgiveness and the chance to accept that his mistakes don't have to define him, not have an experience of true and meaningful romantic love.

Hyde's development would continue from the end of S4. He'd date around but never be emotionally fulfilled by any of those relationships. Or challenged and inspired to grow and change by them. He might not become stagnant, but he'd learn to open up a lot slower. He could be too shut down and in his trauma to meet W.B.

Best outcome: Hyde works for Red at Forman & Son. He lives a middling life. Falling in love with someone might happen but in his forties.

Worst outcome: Hyde would develop depression and lose any access to subconscious aspirations. He'd use alcohol to narcotize himself, but alcohol is a depressant. Hope is gone. Hyde is gone by his late twenties.

Jackie's life without falling in love with Hyde would deprive her of the reality checks she sorely needs to maintain a healthy romantic relationship. She'd continue to view presents as love (giver and receiver), to aspire for a wealthy man to take care of her financially despite her many career dreams and being financially independent. She'd fall in love far more easily than Hyde ever could. Not with a soulmate (like Hyde) but someone "good enough."

But her first marriage would be full of codependency. She might remain in it for twenty to thirty years, have two kids. Finally get a divorce in her late forties. Lots of therapy. Finally focus on building her own career. Then, from a much healthier emotional place, she'd meet a new man. A better man ... in a muffler shop in Point Place.

Her soulmate.

She and Hyde would fall in love, just decades later.

That's the best outcome.

Worst outcome is the new man isn't Hyde.

Jackie, I think, would fair better than Hyde if they didn't fall in love as teenagers. The first half of Jackie's adult life would be hellish, though, with needing to navigate around a narcissistic husband by using every trick she has. He'd be stingy and controlling with money. He'd be a chronic cheater with many women, and she'd cheat with someone for years who helps her financially and emotionally.

Only once she divorced her first husband can she begin to heal from that marriage.

I have to approach this scenario how I'd write it. Others have written it in several fanfics. Often not well, imo.

Alcohol lowers inhibitions. Drunkenness leads to a question of consent, even if both parties are drunk.

I'd write Jackie as angry at herself for "allowing" herself to lose control. Sex, drunk or sober, doesn't erase the reason or pain that caused whichever breakup this might be.

Hyde would also be angry at himself. He'd worry about Jackie. He's had enough experience with his alcoholic mother comorbid with her having drunken sex with the latest "uncle" to have childhood trauma wrapped up in the aftermath.

Her want to talk about what happened. Jackie wouldn't. He'd press. She'd say, "Sex doesn't change [the reason for the breakup]."

"Maybe it made things worse. I'm sorry," Hyde says.

"For what, the sex or [breakup detail]?"

"Both, but does it matter? Can't seem to get my crap together 'round you."

Jackie, capitulating a little, says, "Look, we both got drunk. We both ... forgot for a little while. I remember now. Steven, you of all people should know love isn't enough."

Hyde does. Their trust was fractured into more pieces than he cares to count. Not enough glue on the planet to put that eggshell back together again.

***

This scenario is good fanfic material. I'm sure someone, or several someones, have written it.

If I were to write it, Hyde's motivation would be the same as in "On With the Show" (7x16). He'd let Jackie go to pursue her dream. It's an act of love, but she'd misunderstand this choice as proof he doesn't love her. Angst and drama ensues. Resentment builds.

(Jackie leaves town is a T7S fanfic trope.)

Hyde would also remember the specificity of her words, that she can't "waste any more time" on someone who won't commit to marriage (as teenagers). That wound would stick with him, that marriage is her goal. That all their real time together and real love isn't as important as this ideal life she imagines for herself.

Since "Van Stock" (2x06) references Three's Company in a very funny way, I'll go with Gilligan's Island.

Jackie = Ginger or Lovey Howell (but Jackie wouldn't imagine herself as an older woman)

Donna = Maryanne (her looks match Ginger better, but her personality matches Maryanne's better).

Kelso or Eric = Gilligan, depending on whose fantasy this is.

Hyde = the Professor or the Skipper -- although Hyde would say he's Maynard G. Krebs (played by Bob Denver in The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis). "Same actor as Gilligan, man, but cool."

Fez = Mr. Howell or Gilligan, depending on whose fantasy this is.

I think Jackie and Hyde still wouldn't reconcile but that Jackie would reveal more explicitly her feelings for him. The schism between love and trust would be emphasized (implicitly). More heartbreaking than funny.

Key:

Table Draft = TD

Revised First Draft = RFD

Aired Pilot = AP

This is the end ... beautiful friend(s).

Above are significant differences in the TD from the AP. Not only can Jackie sing well in the TD (in the series, Jackie is known for her inability to sing), but Hyde also acknowledges Jackie's good singing and -- most importantly -- Donna admits that Jackie is "one of us." The TD version of the pilot establishes Jackie as officially part of the basement gang. In the series, this won't happen until "Cat Fight Club" (2x25) when Hyde invites her into the circle.

Above, Eric's growth in self-confidence from the AP continues to be absent in the TD. He becomes quite anxious at Donna's suggestion about driving to Chicago -- with Donna alone.

The TD ends with a huge difference in tone from the AP. Donna, rather than simply kissing Eric because she "wanted to know what it would feel like" -- much more hesitant, unsure, teenager-y and, quite frankly, endearing -- it becomes part of Donna and Eric's struggle for control in their relationship along gender lines. Eric believes he should have all the control because he's "the man". Donna disabuses him of this regressive idea yet again and asserts her equality and agency.

In the series, what I described above is explored, but it's integrated into Donna and Eric's otherwise loving relationship. It's not the focal point; it occasionally becomes a point of contention with deeper roots.

"Battle of the Sexists" (1x04) is the first episode to explore this dynamic between Eric and Donna, but it's approached far differently than the TD pilot. Donna gets advice from her mom essentially to let Eric win to protect Eric's sense of manhood. She fails at her first attempt and kicks his butt in table hockey. She's obvious in her second attempt when they play one-on-one basketball, and Eric calls her out on it.

Then Kitty calls Eric out on his false belief that Donna winning at times means he's less of a man. She counteracts his own feelings that have been exacerbated by Hyde, Kelso, and Fez's validation of them. Kitty tells Eric that she and Red play for fun and don't keep score of who wins or loses

This wisdom gets through to Eric, and he's able to let go of the idea his value is tied to whether or not Donna, a woman, beats him at sports. This results in Eric and Donna having a playful reconciliation, a basketball game that turns into behavior reminiscent of their childhood antics. At the end, Eric asks, "Who won?" Donna says, "I wasn't keeping score." Eric says, "Cool. Me neither."

This episode has an emotionally satisfying arc, where Eric and Donna's love and respect for each other ultimately overrides all else (with help from Kitty).