The Stupid Helmet

Yup! It's nothing new. Back when T7S was airing, a fan-run T7S fanfic archive existed with all kinds of squick fics. Donna/Hyde/Midge incest three-way smut is but one of many examples of what people were writing in the very early aughts.

Hi!

My hot take: most hot takes currently expressed in the T7S fandom aren't that controversial (to me). Maybe since I've read so many takes in the sixteen-plus years I've been part of the fandom, and I've read some doozies in that time. 😜

Here's an oldie: Jackie and Bob would've made an interesting romantic pairing. Beyond a hot take. A squick take. That's the kind of idea I'm comparing the current hot takes to. It's all relative. 😂🙈

Hot take, and this applies to people who have been using the phrase hot take lately ...

They're just opinions or thoughts about / interpretations of / desires and headcanons for the T7S characters. I write this with humor, not any real criticism. ☺️

That being said, I don't view Donna and Hyde as platonic soulmates. That isn't what I find in the text of the show. I see them as long-time close friends. But if Hyde has a platonic soulmate, according to the text of the show, it's Eric.

Season 8 -- kidding. 😜

Their imagined futures for each other in "The Crunge" (5x10) seem to be nightmares for the other.

But Hyde's nightmare would be grounded in failing as a husband and father, Jackie being miserable and their kid being traumatized (remember, he and Jackie are both raised as only children, so his subconscious might stick to that lived reality). They'd be living in the rented house he grew up in. He'd be an alcoholic who blamed Jackie and their child for his own failures.

Eventually, Jackie would reveal she's fallen in love with someone rich and sober. She's taking Hyde and their son to live with him. The front door of the house slams shut, and Hyde wakes up.

Jackie's nightmare would be grounded in her fear of being an absentee, ambitious workaholic like her father. Her family would be rich, but she'd never be home enough to enjoy her family. Her children with Hyde would grow up not knowing her. Hyde would seek elsewhere the emotional connection she's depriving him of, after years trying to get her to reduce her workload.

Once the kids are in college, Hyde would leave Jackie. She'd be rich but alone. No family.

Some of Jackie's tactics are depicted in "Join Together" (6x02). She'd probably use sex appeal while Hyde used romance, finally doing the kinds of romantic things Jackie imagines him doing. They know what turns each other on.

My fanfic Halloween Is Over explores a premise very close to the one described in your ask.

Summary: Eric wants to be scared for Halloween, really scared. Donna proposes a contest, and all their friends are in. But Hyde and Jackie's renewed relationship might not withstand the stress. Donna and Kelso must fight their impulses, and Fez and Eric's chances for survival are slim.

Related, do you think Eric is the only one who considered Jackie the “Yoko” of the gang?

Donna is the first. Certainly before "The Pill" (1x17). Their friendship develops in stages, and Donna's the first to accept Jackie into the group.

While Fez's attraction to Jackie is evident in "That Disco Episode" (1x07), he likely thinks of her as part of the group by "Garage Sale" (2x01).

Hyde accepts -- and inducts -- Jackie as an official part of the group in "Cat Fight Club" (2x25).

Eric's perspective on Jackie wobbles. He can be supportive or hostile, depending on the situation. But he truly accepts her as part of the group in "Jackie's Cheese Squeeze" (4x19). He calls her Yoko in season 5 because he's too close to Hyde, and it's easier for him to put the onus on Jackie for what he fears will be the destruction of his life-long safe haven and friend-family.

But Eric first uses the Yoko accusation on Jill, Hyde's girlfriend, in "The Third Wheel" (4x11) for a similar reason.

Yes. My interpretation/understanding of Hyde is that he's a sex-favorable demisexual, demiromantic. See my meta Objectifying Jackie: A Comparison of Jackie’s Relationships with Kelso and Hyde with a Focus on Allosexual, Demisexual, Demiromantic, and Aromantic Character Interpretations.

Hyde finds Brooke aesthetically appealing or attractive, which doesn't necessarily mean he's sexually attracted to her. In the 1970s, the language and understanding we have have now about the asexuality and aromantic spectrums didn't exist. Nor did it exist for different kinds of attraction. Or that sexual arousal and sexual attraction aren't one and the same.

Hyde doesn't have the language we have now. Calling Brooke hot is akin to calling a painting beautiful. That doesn't mean he's sexually attracted to that painting.

The conversation might go as follows, in Hyde's room.

Jackie: Steven, if I didn't exist, would you have sex with Brooke -- if she wanted you?

Hyde: You don't exist in this totally not-a-trap question?

Jackie: Nope. I was never born.

Hyde: Sure. Why not?

Jackie: Steven!

Hyde: What? You don't exist.

Jackie: So you do want to do it with her.

Hyde: Nope, but Iike havin' sex. And I wouldn't say no to doing it with someone on the opposite side of gross.

Jackie flinches. "What does that mean?"

Hyde (serious, sincere): Jackie, listen. I've been with a lot of chicks before you, and the sex was fun, okay? But none of it made me feel anything deeper than -- just rub your hands together real fast. Your palms.

Jackie does as Hyde instructs.

Hyde: How do your hands feel?

Jackie: Hot. Tingly. A little numb, maybe.

Hyde: There ya go.

Jackie: I still don't get it.

Hyde: No girl has ever made me willing to leave my ice cream to get her a freakin' magazine. Or cut my hair shorter. Or like being called a cutesy nickname that should make me sick. And when you and me have sex, that's all part of it, man. Way beyond hot and tingly. And sure as hell not numb.

Jackie: So you're saying sex with Brooke would be meaningless?

Hyde: That and I got no interest in doin' it with her. Why would I settle for nothin' when I got everything right here?

Jackie: Me. You mean me! [She's happy until another question rises in her mind.] Then why do you think Brooke is hot?

Hyde: Why do you think Andy Gibb is hot?

Jackie: Excuse me. That poster shows my appreciation for his music.

Hyde arcs up an eyebrow.

Jackie: Fine. Because I like how he looks and sings and his overall Andy Gibb-ness. But I wouldn't have sex with him.

Hyde: Do you want to?

Jackie shakes her head more vigorously than she's aware of.

Hyde: Why not?

Jackie: I'm in love with you. And I don't actually know Andy Gibb. He's a stranger, and the idea of doing it with a stranger, even one who's that foxy ... ew. [Realizing with a gasp:] And Brooke is basically a stranger to you! So you can think she's hot, but you don't love her. You love me. I'm the first girl you've ever had a deep, undying love for. A love so powerful that you'd turn the Earth backward to save my life like Superman does for Lois Lane!

Hyde, knowing to leave well enough alone despite Jackie's hyperbole, caresses the back of her hair. "So ... wanna try to turn the Earth backward?"

Jackie: Honestly, I'd prefer just to lie together on your cot for a while.

Hyde (snuggling up with her): Okay.

No. Donna doesn't have any romantic feelings for Hyde whatsoever. Season 1 makes this fact clear consistently.

She might have confided in Hyde had Eric not made a move. She talks to Hyde about her overwhelming mix of feelings for Eric in season 1.

I think they match each other

Kelso is a sex addict. Hyde is not.

If Jackie and Hyde are in a relationship, fully in love, she’d believe him and stand by him — and do whatever she could, use whatever support she had or found to help him.

The author heatherlea75 wrote an excellent (yet unfinished) fanfic about the exact scenario you asked me about.

Frames

Summary: Two decisions lead to devastating consequences. Can Jackie and Hyde fight and beat everything that has so far successfully kept them apart?

Jackie never explicitly or implicitly indicates she's insecure about her breast size. None of the guys ever burn her about her breast size either. Kelso doesn't complain about their size to the guys while he and Jackie date, and he definitely would if he were dissatisfied.

Hyde does aesthetically seem attracted to blond women (Chrissy*, Jill, Raquel). But he's more deeply attracted to Donna, who has red hair. To Patty, who has auburn hair. To Melissa, who has dark brown/black hair. To Jackie, who has brown hair.

*Chrissy ("Punk Chick") is an exception because Hyde is attracted to her attitude and personality. She happens to have blond hair.