Why does everyone think Shane is raking veritable talons down Ilya's back? 😭
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@meneatyoghurt
Why does everyone think Shane is raking veritable talons down Ilya's back? 😭

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If there's one thing I've learned from Heated Rivalry, it's that some people really can watch the most obvious shit and go "I believe this is happening here" and "did you know this is happening in this scene" when the thing happening is the whole fucking point of the scene.
Listening to Katherine Ryan (UK-based Canadian comedian) on Off Menu and she says that hockey players play soggy biscuit* but call it "cookie in the middle".
I'm not surprised that they would play it, but shit name.
Who from HR is gleefully joining in, and who is refusing to play?
*game, which in the UK is played by posh boys at school, where you stand in a circle and wank onto a biscuit and the last person to come has to eat it
What the fuck does this mean? It sounds slightly threatening.
(I know I could click on it to find out but I think I'll take the mystery)
Evening bread making because I told myself I'd bake some so I can have cheese toasties/grilled cheese for lunch for the next few days. Well more like evening dough making because it's now in the fridge to be baked when I wake up tomorrow. Hope I've got enough cheese now...

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"HOLLANDER!" Ilya shouts into the house, somewhere vaguely in the direction of where Shane probably is.
"WHAT?" Ah. In the bedroom. Probably rolling his socks into those little golubtsi parcels that make them look like they just came out of the packet.
"YOU HAVE A WIFE?" It's not the best way Ilya's ever baited Shane into high-tailing it into the same room as him but it's certainly effective.
"I have a what?" Shane asks from his new position behind Ilya, leaning over the arm of the sofa to peer at the laptop balanced on his stomach.
"Google says here," Ilya says, pointing for emphasis, "'Shane Hollander wife'. People want to know."
"No, I obviously don't have a wife. Why would people think I have a wife?"
"Probably your sexy underwear ads. All the ladies want to know if you're taken. And they have that thing where they think everyone is straight because they have tiny imagination."
"What thing?"
He shrugs, already kind of bored by the idea that stupid people think Shane could be married to a woman. "I dunno. Bouncy word."
"I've told you I can't help you with words based on what they sound like."
“ryan lin is shane hollander” “nick suzuki is shane hollander” no, they’re not. you’re just racist.
Has everyone recently learned the word luteal or have I just missed people using it before now?
Interview prep for a role where I feel like I semi know what I'm talking about. Trying not to be too relaxed about it...
I don't know what I'm talking about. Starting to think I've way overstated my capabilites.
I think it went ok?
Not in an "I'm getting the job" way as I'm not sure I'm what they're looking for (think there might be too many gaps in my knowledge/experience...) but I think I answered their questions fairly well? It wasn't a complete disaster anyway.
There were definitely parts where I rambled a bit because my brain wouldn't connect the dots but never mind.
Hm, I'm not sure about that last one...
Idea: one of those autocomplete interviews where one is "Shane Hollander wife" because of all his sexy ads

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I am not a fan of gen AI (it is literally a threat to my own livelihood) but I do find compiling a doc calling out specific fics/authors and then being like "but obviously don't harass them 🥺" a bit disingenuous. I know we can argue you can't control what other people do with the info you give them etc., but at least don't pretend that you don't know that's exactly what's going to happen.
I'm baffled by the use of AI for spellchecking. Any word processing tool will spellcheck your work for you. (Although granted, many spelling/grammar tools do now use AI...but I don't get using like ChatGPT or Claude or whatever to check your spelling.)
Interview prep for a role where I feel like I semi know what I'm talking about. Trying not to be too relaxed about it...
I don't know what I'm talking about. Starting to think I've way overstated my capabilites.
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]
Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic
No way, Josh Thomas has uploaded all of s1 of Please Like Me to youtube for free.
I haven't watched it in ages purely because I think it was only available on Prime...and then I'm not sure if it was available?
Hope the rest of it is put up too. And then I'm gonna do a big rewatch.

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Laughing at the idea that if the Pike kids knew who "Lily" was but Hayden and Jackie didn't a) they would be able to keep it a secret, and b) it would be in any way appropriate to ask them to keep it a secret
Interview prep for a role where I feel like I semi know what I'm talking about. Trying not to be too relaxed about it...