I Never Lied To You...Only To Myself...

@ing all my mutuals/besties to see there answers

Okay, so last saved is Simu Liu, so I'm not sure if it counts because he's not in the character 😂 the last fictional character would be Loki 🌚 either way, both Shang-Chi and Loki are hot af so I'm so lucky to be their wife 🌚💞

Thanks a ton, Martyna, for the tag!! And I'm happy that you got two really great guys!! 😆

I got, as usual, my King:

*Sounds of glass shattering in the distance*

thor: i didn't think you could keep it a secret!

loki: what?? i'm an excellent secret keeper ok! i have keep all our secrets.

sylvie: what secrets?

loki: [laughs] oh no no, sylvie darling, i'm not going to tell you. because i'm an excellent secret keeper!

thor: [laughs] ok brother.

[thor leaves]

sylvie: hey, you tell me later?

-------------

Odin: Only one of you can ascend to the throne, but both of you were born to be kings.

Loki: I guess it all depends on who the district chieftains and lawspeakers choose.

Thor: They'll choose me for sure. I'm the oldest.

Loki: That's not how it works! And who's to say that they won't choose someone from another House?

Thor: They can't do that! Can they do that, father?

Odin: -sigh- You haven't been paying attention to those statecraft lessons at all, have you?

--------------

Thor: Hahaha! Yes, some do battle, others just do tricks.

Loki: YOU SAY THAT I AM NOT A TRUE MAN?!

Thor: -sigh- Brother, you know I'm just going to beat you. Again. And you'll have to pay me half a weregild. Again.

Loki: YOU THINK ME A COWARD? YOU THINK YOU CAN GOAD ME INTO DISHONOUR??

Thor: Can we at least have the Holmgang after the Coronation?

Loki: It's not a Coronation. Father is just handing over a portion of his administrative and legal duties and powers to you, as has been approved by the district chieftains and lawspeakers of the Þhing due to his increasing age and their reluctance to elect another King at this time.

Thor: -rolls eyes- Norns, you're so pedantic. Fine. Can we do the Holmgang after the partial administrative handover?

Loki: I am content with that.

--------------

Thor: A Frost Giant called me a princess!

Odin: ...and did you kill them?

Thor: I could not allow my honour to be slighted!

Odin: Just so. Well, Laufey, let us end this matter. One of your people offered insult and it was repaid.

Laufey: Your boy offered insult first by coming here to spit his slander in my Halls. He called us thieves! And what of the scores of my people that your boy injured or murdered after he killed the one who insulted him? Is there to be no recompense for them?!

Odin: Their families will be offered a very generous settlement.

Laufey: You think weregild will satisfy us?

Random Jötunn: Well, to be honest I wouldn't say no to a really big pile of gold-

LOKI + HAIR FLIP

They had no “moral” issue with this:

But they pretend they have a “moral” issue with this:

The Order of The Avengers (Part 1) - (2021)

A couple of months ago, I asked my followers what kind of Avengers fan art they wanted to see from me and they voted at 81% for the “Medieval / Heroic Fantasy AU” option. Here’s the result, I hope you’ll enjoy it! ♥ A big thank you to @vegetamochi who came up with the title. (Nb: this is an art project, there’s no fic to go with it)

kate herron, an openly bisexual woman who has directed media with openly lgbt characters before, fights tooth and nail to be able to include one honest to god explicit mention to Loki being into men, and she knows it's as far as marvel will allow her to delve into his same sex attraction. cue tumblrites calling her a bitch and a cunt, a queerbaiting devil and a false bisexual, threatening her family, threatening her dog, putting online abuse into the mentions of every post she makes

Caveat: I'm not a shipper and I have no horse in the race but come on

S -Don’t you dare take a picture! T -Too late ! :D S -You’ll regret that T -Oh, I’m sure I will!

TVA Approved Loki™️

nothing goes your way

a mean, closeted gay

a Hot Mess™️

dead inside

family is…. complicated.

Make Asgard Great Again

gets by on sheer charisma alone, like seriously, you maxed out charisma and dumped wisdom.

good at making friends fast

bad at keeping them

you make a lot of promises you can’t keep

you look great tho, and that’s what matters

The Superior Loki, Obviously

It’s a bit early for a midlife crisis but here you are

steals food from besties

Bi as fuck

would use a profile picture that looks like the blue lives matter flag but when you look closer it says “sike! ACAB” just to troll people

100% ride or die for that one friend

generally confused but doing your Best

Lo.Ki. Hammer

tells banger stories

literally no one can tell if they’re true or if you’re making shit up

Really likes Arts & Crafts

tries to be everyone’s friend and usually just ends up in the middle of drama

somehow pulls off thrift store chic

Senior Discount Loki

somehow both stylish and lacking a single ounce of fashion sense

Mom Friend

the only one in the friend group who has their shit together (finally)

knows all the life hacks, like therapy

still depressed

Lil’ Loki

trusting

builds awesome pillow forts

“I killed thor” wow buddy that sounds like a lot to unpack, wanna talk about that???

no, you will not be talking about it.

likes weird pets

Lokidile

literally just a gator in cosplay

Are you a loki? Nobody knows. I couldn’t even find a decent gif of this funky lil guy, bless his scaly little heart.

mysterious

Speaks primarily in grunts and growls

bites

The Actually Superior One

girlboss

somehow cute and scary at the same time

pretty much always the smartest person in the room at any given time

better than everyone and knows it

fueled by rage and spite

you decided what you were gonna do when you were 8 and stuck to it

Not A Loki

you aren’t a Loki Variant, but you know everything about them

good listener

The Dad Friend

probably writes fanfiction

I’m old ok? 🤣🤣🤣

With a slight tendency to be The Superior Loki, Obviously (early mid-life crisis lol)