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@ladyamron

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I haven't seen dancing pumpkin guy ONCE this year, are you guys okay?
FINE! I'll do it myself
Why did 12 people reblog this today??? IT IS ONLY AUGUST!!!
According to this site, August 1 is the first day of Halloween.
According to this
site, August 1 is the first
day of Halloween.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
O Radagon, leal hound of the Golden Order. Thou'rt yet to become me. Thou'rt yet to become a god. Let us be shattered, both. Mine other self.
prints ⌠patreon Â
You run a cafĂŠ on the edge of life and death. Souls who have been departed from their bodies temporarily, such as in comas or near-death experiences, can relax in your quaint cafe for as long as they need before they can either return to their bodies or begin their journey to the afterlife.
Happy TotK eve!!!! Celebrating by finally finishing that combo I've been planning for months. You can grab it as prints here~

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Fantasy Guide to Royal Households and How they Work
When I say Households, I mean the entourage that follows around the royal family. The household went everywhere with them to care for their needs from the people who would empty their chamber pots to their noble companions. Most royal households are basically the same as noble ones, only on grander scale. Every royal had a household and an entourage as well as every noble at court.
Palace Personnel ~ The Commons
The commons were an intregal part of every household. They made up perhaps 80% of the work force. Royal courts were often on the road and never spent more than a few months at every palace. The court was constantly moving. Some positions were not permanent, meaning certain servants did not travel with the court because they were employed at the palace only. They would be paid by the Monarch's paymaster.
Scullion: The scullion was a relatively easy position to fill so they were often changed as the court went from palace to palace. They would be responsible for scrubbing and cleaning the servants quarters and the kitchens. They would scrub floors with lye, scour pots with sand, sweep put the fireplace and clean up after the other servants. They were the first to rise in a castle and tasked to light all the fires in the kitchens. Scullions would just be employed to the palace and serve a multitude of chambers
Laundress: The laundress was responsible for the cleaning of anything made of fabric in the household. Since they are handling unmentionables, they knew what happened behind closed bedchamber doors. They knew when the King visited the Queen or hadn't, they knew when marriages were consummated or not and they knew when the Queen and royal women were not pregnant. They often sold secrets to pad their pockets. Laundresses might be permanent staff but sometimes not.
Minstrels: The minstrel was a commoner hired to play an instrument or sing for the entertainment of the royal. A royal might staff a few at a time but they would always have one on hand. The minstrel would likely come with their masters as they travelled. The minstrel might serve the main royal household but a royal might retain their own.
Cook: The cook was one of the most important servants in the household. They would have the task of overseeing the running of the kitchens and keeping supplies in order. They would likely be on call at all times. Henry VIII's cook was often woken in the night because his royal master wanted a midnight snack. The cook was a valued member of the household and would have been highly sought after if they were a very skilled cook. They would have travelled with the joint. Cooks were apart of the greater royal household but often royals retained private cooks for their own use.
Maidservant: The maidservant cleans the castle. She would sweep the floors, scrub them, empty the chamberpots, get rid of the ashes from the fire and ready the fire for later. She would make up the bed or strip it for the laundresses. She would wash anything that needed washing including furniture and ornaments. She was likely not a travelling servant and would be strictly employed at a single palace.
Jester: The jester was the hired entertainer. Working under the master of revels, the jester had the daunting task of making the monarch and their family laugh. They would tell jokes, tell stories, cause havoc in the court for laughs and lighten the mood. The most successful jester of all time was Will Somers, jester to Henry VIII. Will broke bad news to the infamously bad tempered monarch and got away with things that would have sent others to the block. Will survived most of Henry's reign, his head intact. Jesters would be apart of the main household though each royal might have one of their own.
Positions within the Royal Household ~ Noble
Nobility were always welcomed at court. They eat at court, slept at court and were cared for by the monarch. Some nobles had to sing for their supper and most were hired as royal servants. They weren't exactly scrubbing floors and would be paid handsomely with land that would generate wealth for them
The Steward/Seneschal: This person was the head of the royal's staff. They would have the task of running the lands and servants their master or mistress. The steward served as a backup and assistant in all the tasks even representing their master or mistress when they were unavailable. Would be a high ranking noble. Each royal household would have them.
Treasurer of the Household: The treasurer was the accountant and pay master. They would be in charge of ensuring debts were settled, wages were paid and the household was running within the budget. This was a coveted position because it gave the treasurer insight into the financial situations of the royals. Such info was wroth its weight in gold. Each royal would have one.
Usher: The Gentleman Usher would be in charge of escorting guests into the royal chambers and into the royal presence. They would act as a go between their royal master/mistress and the guest often going back and forth with messages. It was just as coveted as the position of chamberlain but with less responsibilities.
Master of Horse: The Master of Horse was in charge of seeing to the horses of their master. They would oversee the grooms or the stableboy/hands who were employed at the stables to actually care for the horses. The master of horse would ensure that the stables were in order and the horses were up to parr in order to bear royalty across the kingdom. Each royal would have one but there would a main one who acted as overseer.
Master of the Wardrobe/Mistress of the Robes: These are the nobility who are employed to look after the clothes of the royal they serve. This would mainly involve a managerial position, overseeing the inventory of the royal wardrobe (a warehouse like building that housed the clothing) and placing orders for new clothes. It was a tidy job that rarely involved getting the hands dirty. Each royal would have one.
Chamberlain/Valet: The chamberlain is employed to look after the Lord's bedchamber. This was the most sought out position as they effectively were the gateway into the royal presence. Their main task was making sure their boss was comfortable and happy. Could be a well born commoner or a noble. Each royal would have one.
The Page: All royal households had pages. They would be a young noble boy about seven years old sent to their royal master. He would be in charge of tidying up after the lord, carrying messages to other servants and occupants of the castle and serving him at meals. Unlike others on the list, the page would not be paid. His experience was his payment as he would learn the running of a court and how to be courtier. Each royal would have one.
Squires: Squires were like pages though they only served the men. They would accompany their royal master to battle, look after his armour and mail, ensure that his lord's horse was saddled, caring for their master's weapons. The squire would always be a young nobleman on the cusp of becoming a knight.
Governess: The governess is a noblewoman woman employed to oversee the Monarch's children's household. She would be the first teacher a royal child would have and would oversee the nursemaids who would have care of the physical person of the child. She would be appointed when the child was four or five. Notable governesses include Katherine Swynford (wife of John of Gaunt and mother to the Beaufort line), Margaret Pole (wife of Tudor Loyal Sir Richard Pole, sister of the last York heir Edward of Warwick, daughter of George Duke of Clarence and niece to King Edward VI and Richard III), Kat Ashley, Margaret Bryan, Madame de Maintenon and Baroness Lehzen. Most unmarried Princesses retained their governesses while Princes generally outgrew their governesses after they were breeched.
Gentlemen of the Privy Chamber: They were the male companions of a King or Prince, sort of like ladies in waiting but manly. They would accompany the King or Prince everywhere they would go and shared duties with Groom of the Stool (royal toilet paper dispenser) and the Chief Gentleman of the Chamber (overseeing the staff and maintaining the chamber). They would help their master get ready, serve him at the table and organize hunting and games to keep him entertained. Gentlemen and companions where often chosen for their connections as well as their master's own opinion. Henry VIII's gentlemen included: Sir William Compton (ward of Henry VII and heir to rich lands), Sir Henry Norris (the grandson of William Norris who fought with Henry's father at Stroke and a relation to the Yorkists Lovells), Sir Anthony Denny (son of Sir Edmund Denny Baron of the Exchequer) Sir Michael Stanhope (brother in law to Edward Seymour, Duke of Somerset), Charles Brandon (ward of Henry VII and son of Tudor Loyalists)
Ladies in Waiting and Maids in Waiting or Maids of Honour: These are the female attendants to the Queen or Princess. Ladies in Waiting were married while the Maids were unmarried. They would have to attend their mistress wherever she went, help her get ready, keep her chambers in order, write letters for the Queen and maintaining her honour. They were chosen for their connections. Using Katherine of Aragon as an example, her Ladies in Waiting included: Maria de Salinas (daughter of Juan Sancriz de Salinas secretary to Isabella, Princess of Portugal and a Spanish courtier in the service to Katherine's parents, wife of Baron Willoughby de Ersby), Elizabeth Howard (the daughter of Thomas Howard, 2nd Duke of Norfolk, sister to Thomas Howard, 3rd Duke of Norfolk and wife to Thomas Boleyn, ambassador to France), Anne Hastings (daughter of William Hastings, 1st Baron Hastings, wife to George Talbot, Earl of Shrewsbury and Lord Steward.), Agnes Tilney (wife to Thomas Howard, Earl of and 2nd Duke of Norfolk.), Elizabeth Scrope (wife of John de Vere, Earl of Oxford, a loyal Tudor lord), Margaret Scrope (wife of Sir Edmund de la Pole, Earl of Suffolk cousin to the King), Anne Stafford (sister of the Duke of Buckingham, married Sir George Hastings, Earl of Huntington and daughter of Henry Stafford, 2nd Duke of Buckingham (cousin to the King) and Lady Katherine Woodville (sister of King Henry VIII's grandmother and his great aunt by her marriage), Elizabeth Stafford (sister to Anne Stafford wife Robert Radcliffe, Lord Fitzwalter and Earl of Sussex around). Their connections are what got them their places and you can see why they were chosen.
Accommodation
Accommodation can be a difficult thing to sort both as a writer and a steward. You might have a palace of 200+ bedchambers in which you must house a staff of 500-/+, a varying amount of nobles, the royal family (of a varying amount) and their own households. When assigning rooms it is best to think of a Russian nesting doll. Start from the inside and work your way to the outside.
The best rooms go to the monarch, their consort and their children/siblings/parent(s). These chambers would include the bedroom, a drawing room/ common area, a privy, a closet (a small chamber that can be used for prayer or work). They would be furnished with the best cloth, the best candles and whatever furniture brought by the resident since most royal courts travelled from palace to palace. They will also have chambers for their personal servants such as ladies in waiting and grooms.
The second best set of rooms would go to the highest ranking nobles/people in the court. These rooms would be less fancy and a little smaller. These would be given to from titled nobility descending from those of Ducal rank (Dukes/Duchesses) or even members of the council such as Thomas Cromwell in Tudor times.
The next set would be considerably smaller, perhaps minus a closet or a drawing room. Given to lower nobility.
The next level of chambers would be smaller perhaps only the bedroom and a common area given to minor nobles.
The last set of rooms would be small and only hold enough room for a bedroom. Servants would have to sleep on the ground on pallets beside their masters.
Any other guests at court would have to stay at off-site locations around the palace in the city. Some nobles at houses around major palaces just in case they arrived late or were kicked out of court.
some themed gardens with plant suggestions
sun garden
sunflower
black eyed susan
heliotrope
peony
warm colored carnation
marigold
rosemary
moon garden
moonflower
jasmine
violet
alyssum
white lilies
tuberose
henbit/purple deadnettle
fae garden
evening primrose
common dewberry
bluebells (do not pick if you are in a forest)
buttercups
thyme
foxglove
milkweed
(northeastern) wildflower garden
alyssum
babyâs breath
calendula
cornflower/bachelorâs buttons
milkweed
my personal garden wish list
alyssum
violet
bluebell
chamomile
purple deadnettle/henbit
buttercup
mint
babyâs blue eyes
some succulents
There are some things I remember very vividly based purely on senses. What are some of your memories that are like that?
@amercanghoul
Shipping Prompts
- I was walking past your house, you had your door open and I saw you dancing in your kitchen and now whenever I hear that song I think about you
- youâre a security guard at an art gallery and you held the door for me so I left you a note in the door where we met I hope you read it
- youâre a seamstress at the place I took my clothes to get fixed and when I got it back it smelled like you so now Iâm looking for clothes at the thrift store that have holes in them so that I can go back and see you again
- I left my bag at the park and you saw that it was mine so you chased after me to give it back and now you want to know why I have a bag full of acorns and no umbrella âcuz itâs raining
- my dad is your tutor and I came in and saw you struggling so I helped you and now Iâve replaced my dad and youâre adorable goddamn
^ your dad was my tutor but you helped me and now youâve replaced him and even though I understand keep pretending that I donât so that I have an excuse to spend time with you
- I left my math textbook in the cafeteria and you found it and spent three days tracking me down using the book number and now youâre standing in front of me holding it and the snow makes your hair pretty what class are you in
- I go to a coffee shop everyday after class and youâre always there in the back corner sitting alone and you always order the same thing, I tried it and itâs delicious and you look so sad
- youâre my professor and this is your first year teaching and weâre practically the same age can I stay after class so that you can help me with this thing I donât understand

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'One River North' Colorado that includes a descending nature trail on its façade.
The wonderful Glass Octopus. Living at depths of around 3000 ft and only being about a foot long, these strange little creatures are rarely seen by scientists.
An elf goes out on a âshort errandâ, forgetting that 30 years is a long time to have left his human wife and child at home.
JACK BLACK at the L.A. premiere of The Super Mario Bros. Movie
jack black would probably have a sick eras tour outfit just saying

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Okay, so do vampires drink from arteries or veins or both? Asking for a friend.
@lqtraintracks This drew me in too easily, what the hell đđ
This guy is the Gordon Ramsey of blood.
âTHIS BLOOD HAS SO MUCH FUCKING ACID IN IT, IâM SEEING TECHNICOLOR DEMONS!!!â
@vampireapologist
âIâve never met a vampireâ exactly what a vampire would say.
Very suspicious about this âeducated guessâ
Useful info for vampires writers
the funniest thing in the entire pirates of the caribbean series is definitely that one scene in At Worldâs End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it, and rather than have him stand in the shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it on shore
who thought of that idea? who thought âput davy jones in a bucket of waterâ and had the guts to suggest it aloud? and then who went âhey that sounds like a great idea!â
at some point someone told davy jones their idea was for him to stand in a bucket of water and he agreed to it
*stands majestically in a bucket*
ok but notice the trail of buckets behind him meaning he walked from the ocean through three other buckets of water before he got into the one hes standing in
Itâs even funnier when you consider how he must have figured all this out in the first place.
Some folks are asking âwell, if he can avoid the no-dry-land curse simply by standing in a bucket, doesnât that ruin his whole motivation?â, but heâs not on dry land here.
The parley takes place on a sandbar - which, for the unfamiliar, is a temporary âislandâ of sand deposited by breaking waves, unconnected with the shore, that spends most of its time submerged, being exposed only at low tide.
What Jones is doing here is rules-lawyering his curse. Can you imagine the trial and error he must have gone through in order to determine that this would actually work?
âOkay, do islands count as dry land? How about parts of the shore below the high tide mark? Reefs? Shoals? What if I stand in a pool of water on a shoal? Does it have to be seawater, or will any water do? Does it have to be a natural tidepool, or can it be something artificial, like a bucket?â
What I am saying is that there must have been a process.
Pretty sure that this implies that the reverse - a bucket of sand, floating on the water (big bucket with just a bit of sand), would qualify as dry land. Thatâs absurd, so Iâm pretty sure that his lawyer pulled a fast one over the curse governor.
It may be absurd, but the text of the film bears it out. Davy Jones can sense the presence of his heart while itâs at sea, but not while itâs on land (indeed, thatâs why he buried it on land in the first place: to break his connection with it) - yet placing the heart in a simple jar of dirt conceals it from Jonesâ awareness just as surely as burial on land does, even if the jar is on a boat at the time. Suitably prepared vessels filled with dirt absolutely count as dry land for the purpose of Jonesâ curse.
Then the reverse should also be true. If he buried it in a jar of water, no matter how far inland it is, he would be able to sense it. So by this logic, any container of seawater counts as not dry land, ergo, the bucket is a perfectly viable loophole.
Not necessarily. Itâs traditionally a lot easier to accidentally get whammied by a curse than it is to weasel around it - I figure thatâs why heâs using multiple layers of indirection here. Heâs forbidden to set foot on dry land, but itâs technically not dry land (itâs a sandbar, a non-permanent landform exposed only at low tide) and he technically didnât set foot on it (heâs standing in a bucket of water). Itâs entirely possible that either one of those things alone wouldnât make the grade.
okay but this all raises one further, very important question: if itâs specifically âdry landâ heâs forbidden from, what about wetlands. can Davy Jones fight you in salt marshes? can he throw down in a peat bog?Swamp Battle?
This is the quality content I come to Tumblr for.
could he step on land if his shoes are wet?
No matter how ridiculous PotC gets I will love it. Especially when it results in conversations like this
What if he crawls around on his hands and knees, with his feet raised slightly into the air? Can he walk on his hands? Can he ride around in a litter or a wheelchair?
can he be in a wheelbarrow?
What if he flies over dry land? Like in a hot air balloon, or in the claws of a giant bird?
What if heâs carried by two swallows using a strand of creeper?
European swallows or African swallows?
this whole thread reads like a conversation between these two:
In fact im not entirely sure that it wasnât their idea in the first place