there will be happier times again.

(tone of complete and utter exhaustion) this is the day that the Lord hath made

ethos, pathos, logos, and d'artagnan

sometimes water tastes so good and you drink it in such a ferociously passionate way that you frighten yourself

med people are so annoying "This family's 8 year old child who was about to go through a major surgery and kept crying that she was hungry so they pitied her and gave her food, she then had a heart attack in the surgery. They're so stupid 😒" girl they didn't know that could happen or why it happens. it takes so little time to explain to them that will happen instead of telling them "no food" with no explanation 10 times

"Before surgery, your body’s reflexes that protect your airway are relaxed by anesthesia. If there’s food or liquid in your stomach, it will near certainly come back up and go into your lungs, which can cause choking, a severe lung / heart infection or even a heart attack. That’s called aspiration, and it is life-threatening. It's hard, but it's only a single day to prevent near certain death. Not eating or drinking beforehand massively lowers the risk and helps prevent these life threatening situations under anesthesia." <- TIP: patients have brains which allows them to receive information just like you

Reblogging to save a life and teach medical professionals basic communication skills

"There's no platonic explanation for this" <-you need to be nicer to your friends. Right now

Gomez and Morticia Addams got divorced. I woke up mortified and with a sense of inexplicable dread.

you literally don’t need any other plot and i would watch the movie

This. All of this.

Wednesday offers to help with split custody of Pugsley. her suggestion involved a big table saw

They fight over who gets to hire the expensive big-firm lawyer and who gets to hire the up-and-coming rookie divorce lawyer. It's a whole Thing.

The up and coming lawyer is Thing?

Thing wins the case

it's actually started because Thing just passed the bar exam and no one will hire Thing

Tumblr does one thing better than any other site on the internet, and that's collaborative fan fiction.

I can beat my avoidant tendencies I just have to stay away from any situation in which I might become avoidant. Problem solved

shit I missed my window, next week I guess

Reblog on Tuesday to let your followers know it’s safe to leave the bog

It is imperative that the customer remain unaware that employees drink water, it frightens and scares them to think of an employee as having human needs

Either people need to learn how to tell the difference between an “I’m sorry” that takes direct responsibility and an “I’m sorry” that signifies sympathy, or I’m gonna start responding to unfortunate information with a solemn nod and a “Sympies,” because I am tired of receiving a “Why? It wasn’t your fault” every time I try to vocalize compassion.

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

Did you guys hear they're rebooting Goncharov as an 8 part HBO miniseries? :/

they're doing a gritty reboot of chicken nuggets

podracer Sebulba notably absent from swift-kelce wedding attendees............