this elegy would love to save everything

good evening and welcome to the Council of Darkness. first on our agenda is Turning Off the Sun

you are not an endearingly rude and unfriendly cartoon character you need to be nice to people

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.

today i rang up a customer at work for $13.36 and i said with such genuine cheer "uh-oh! two years before the plague hit England, if anyone cares!" and i watched the customer's eyes as they were clearly taken aback and then tried to pretend to be interested at all. they made such a valiant effort. they were like I don't wanna damper this guy's plague enthusiasm. They said, very awkwardly, "haha, uh-oh!"

I'm so addicted to deleting posts. not even controversial ones, just like anything. I'll briefly post an anecdote or my opinion of a movie, think about it for a few minutes, and then go NOPE no one needs to see that! this post too, I'll probably delete it before you can reply. just watch.

starting the countdown until gaylors start saying that Adam Sandler officiating Taylor's wedding (sorry if this is how you found out) is actually proof that it's a sham because it's a reference to I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007), in which Sandler and Kevin James play heterosexual men who enter a mutually beneficial fake gay marriage, a dynamic that Taylor is inverting as a queer woman pretending to be straight while cleverly flagging the obvious farce to those with the eyes to see

this is worst than finding out from a castiel meme

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

they got married btw

My “No Corpses Are Kept In This Vehicle Overnight” sticker is raising a lot of questions already answered by my sticker

Baby gym trainer: tummy time is hard BUT NO PAIN NO GAIN FELLAS!! LETS DEVLOP THOSE NECK MUSCLES

podracer Sebulba notably absent from swift-kelce wedding attendees............