this elegy would love to save everything

Heard this stupid dad joke that killed me: Which Chinese word takes the longest to write? "Friend" (朋友) because it takes two months just to write half of it

Which character is faster, hot (热) or cold (冷)? Obviously hot, which has 4 legs to cold's 1

Why do Chinese vampires hate spicy food? They only drink 不辣的

Maybe the most damming thing about Nolans odyssey is i haven’t seen a single gifset from it

just saw a chair so photogenic I had to reevaluate my feelings towards plastic furniture

a meba 🦠 is almost like a really really small anermal but not quite

Apparently the local university’s undergraduate entomology course sends students to catch insect specimens at the same place I like to go birdwatching, which explains why I saw three enormous frat looking dudes with tiny bug nets and overheard one emphatically say “bro BRO I told you we already have enough lepidopterans”

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

you can buy a print for €65 which honestly feels like a really good deal for something so beautiful

For barnswallows, they don't swallow a lot of barns.

my knight dismissed me as his squire for shrieking “DIVA DOWN!” when he was unhorsed on the battlefield