this elegy would love to save everything

bro, go to Jimmy John's and ask for the Fetty Wop meal. The looks on their faces won't change and they'll give you a buffalo chicken wrap and buffalo chicken flavored chips with a drink of your choice.

just learned from my friend who works at Jimmy John's that the parentheses in the meal name caused a nationwide software glitch for 24 hours that made it so the order was free. Her store had to cancel hundreds of orders that day.

Fetty Wap infinite meal glitch at Jimmy John's

i bet it feels good as fuck to start swaying on your feet after overtaxing your magic reserves

ham and sneeze sandwich

maybe the ice mummy is tired of having to be strong. did you ever think of that

also according to michael collins when the three of them were discussing what neil armstrong should say when he first stepped on the moon, collins suggested armstrong say “Oh, my God, what is that thing?”  and then scream and cut out his mic.

Everyone forgets Michael Collins and it’s fucking tragic.

Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications

girl who just took a cold shower voice: I'm going to eat so many fruits and vegetables, I'm going to go on long walks, I'm going to read 20 books, I'm going to grow herbs on my windowsill, I'm going to drink tons of water and fix my sleep schedule