creature dignified

my little brother came into my room and told me that there was water all over the bathroom floor so i got up and grabbed a towel and ran into the bathroom to find all of my water energy pokemon cards sprawled out on the floor this kid is 5 fucking years old and he got me

THIS POST IS TWO YEARS OLD NOW. MAX IS 7. IT DIES DOWN FOR LIKE HALF A YEAR AND THEN SUDDENLY IT KICKS BACK UP AGAIN I HATE THIS POST 

this post is now 5 years old. Max is 10 and i hope he’s still schemin’

There’s so much potential in this genre of joke. “There’s a fire in the kitchen!” etc.

Max is an adult now

does anyone remember that "androphobia" is a real word that means being genuinely Afraid of men. and it's mostly used to describe women who are intensely scared of men following abuse/assault. and this is a whole thing where you can have a service dog that keeps men away. because i remember that, having known several women both cis and trans who were like this, and it really is odd to see the term misused as another word for misandry lol that is not what it means

starting the countdown until gaylors start saying that Adam Sandler officiating Taylor's wedding (sorry if this is how you found out) is actually proof that it's a sham because it's a reference to I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007), in which Sandler and Kevin James play heterosexual men who enter a mutually beneficial fake gay marriage, a dynamic that Taylor is inverting as a queer woman pretending to be straight while cleverly flagging the obvious farce to those with the eyes to see

this is worst than finding out from a castiel meme

meet me under the pier we are going beast mode

huge fan of kink blogs that highlight key words like this. honestly It always makes me think of ace attorney like. daddy may know what the murder weapon is

prayer to whichever dead catholic person is most appropriate: may I not have to run a whole week of surprise camps on crutches. in a knee brace.

Im agnostic raised liberal protestant, but absolutely the catholics got saints right. Sometimes your problem is so fucking specific you need Some Guy. If you're listening, Guy of Workers Who Have Strain Injuries,

what the dog doin

FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT you are allowed to feel proud of yourself for things that might seem silly to other people, like getting better at a video game or putting together a nice outfit for the next morning or finishing a book. You deserve to feel proud for your accomplishment.

I threw a dog at a land mine

Uncle stop vaguing me

it’s 2014 can taylor swift stop

idiot jail for ignorant beasts

Sisyphus

one must imagine sisyphus ouppy

big fan of telling people "have fun" when they say theyre going to the restroom