“Can you believe it? No! Neither can I!”

i dont have time to eat breakfast because i have to look at my phone in bed. how can i fix this dont say put the phone down

Favorite thing about renaissance faires is that they have fuck all to to with the renaissance. This thang is not about historical anything this is about dressing up like a fairy and watching a joust

#a samurai with a flintlock pistol sitting next to a guy dressed as a caveman drinking a styrofoam cup of dr pepper#and it fucks severely

It's not THE renaissance, it's A renaissance. Of what? Up to you

Interviews with hockey players are fantastic, because it is a complex game that can be spoken about at length, but during the intermission they'll find the Wettest player imaginable on the losing team and for thirty seconds they'll ask them things like "what do you need to do to get more pucks in the net?" And the player (panting, haunted behind the eyes) says something like "well, we've got to get them in there"

so far one theme of the 30s for me has been realizing that literally every human being on earth who appears completely cool and collected and together with it at first glance has some threshold past which enough known information about them will shatter that mystique completely. i don't even say this negatively or pessimistically it's just been helpful to keep in mind that we're all like that.