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You guys are always like "being crushed by 10,000 tons of rock probably feels good as hell" or "being torn to pieces by hunting dogs would low key fix me" and I feel like those things would actually be unpleasant.

How about "Drinking an ice cold strawberry milkshake probably feels good as hell". Do you guys like that one.

Oh no! Brainfreeze.

I think any time anyone has a migraine $2,000 should be directly deposited in their bank account as compensation

I'd be rich

did you know they made the clinical term for the disability that makes you struggle to spell things a fucking hell word to spell

This is how you do a meme. I don’t want to tell anyone my name or my bra size or my date of birth on the internet. Why can’t we make memes using useless and non-personal data points?

fucking. Shoelace Con. Im…..dashcon

Discourse Superhell.

i love posts that are like “life doesn’t end at 25! it’s ok to have new experiences and meet new people at 26, or even 27 :-)”

I'm 25, thank god I can still meet new people and do new things for a couple years still I was worried.

Controversial take but if you wrote a novel about two women falling in love and you changed one of them into a man you would have the most enormous smash hit of a romance book on your hands

Maybe because I met like 15 butch lesbians who are the real life equivalent of the ideal male romance lead and I have yet to meet a man who fits the archetype.

Ladies do you want a man who reads you classical novels when you can’t sleep? Bakes cakes, knits sweaters and is able to remodel your bathroom? Good with animals, kids and has a career they’re passionate about? Handsome but not vain? Sweet, sensitive but charmingly rough around the edges? A good conversationalist? Well that’s not a man, that’s my friend Jennifer

did you memorize the 5 species of salmon in the pacific-northwest using a mnemonic on your hand? or do i gotta teach you?

official fish post

I just want to remind you that sometimes your life really doesn't begin until you are 26+... Romanticizing and obsessing over our youth is harmful. Growing up is beautiful. Discovering who you are and how you interact with the world is a gift. Maturing and learning what you truly want out of life and living in that purpose brings fulfillment and peace. Your life is not over in your early 20's because you haven't figured it out yet, it's just beginning.

thank god I can't wait to have a life next year. I stopped reading at 26 I'm sure the rest is like uplifting and stuff.

"average Virginian into interrogation kink” factoid actualy just statistical error. average virginian fantasizes interrogation 0 times per year. CIA, who lives in Langley & thinks about interrogation over 10,000 times each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

Catholic to goth pipeline functioning as intended.

"average Louisianan into crucifixion play" just statistical error. average Louisianan fantasizes about crucifixion 0 times per year. Anne Rice, who lived in New Orleans and thought about crucifixion 10,000 times per day, was an outlier and should not have been counted.

... As someone from louisiana I actually do think it is in fact accurate, as funny as Spiders Georging Anne Rice is to me.

reblog if ur a striminal

#YOU’VE BEEN HIT BY  #YOU’VE BEEN STRUCK BY  #A SMOOTH STRIMINAL

I am so embarrassed that only 31% of us have the good sense to lie when someone asks if we’ve committed a crime.

*a strime