Forsooth, I am but a Nut

You WILL be racist. You WILL do racist things. You have ALREADY done both. Learn and move on. There's no ideological purity you can hold on to, i promise. Proving you can take the criticism without making it a big deal and practice what you preach is better than any clean slate.

In real life, truly it is not. It’s so easy. The bar is so low. Practice some variants of these:

“Oh shit you’re right”

“Oh damn I didn’t see it that way before”

You’ll feel bad because it feels bad to realize you hurt someone else. But you can’t make your feeling bad soo Big that their original hurt matters less. That’s an insecurity response — that’s you looking for them to validate you. You don’t need that! You’re fine! (And realistically you may find that validation comes much more easily when you’re attentive and empathetic!!)

Even better: validate them!! “Hey it takes a lot to speak up and call me out, I really appreciate that.” Because honestly they are doing you a favor, probably! They’re showing you the quicksand you stepped in and throwing you a rescue line.

If you do have an intense emotional reaction, step away and come back later. It’s okay to react! It’s rude to make your reaction their business.

Most Black folks irl are frankly just happy when white people verbally acknowledge the existence of racism. The bar is so low. The bar is ankle height. I also get a lot of mileage out of genuine compliments.

"EXPLAIN HOW I POSSIBLY HURT YOU, I'M NOT A BAD PERSON, YOU'RE BAD FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE ONE, AND I JUST WANT TO UNDERSTAND BUT ALSO SHUT THE FUCK UP"

You're talking with a cishet man, and the conversation has turned a little bit serious, you're talking about your feelings or maybe your family, and in a moment of really letting your guard down, you tell him something personal. In my experience, this often happens when I come out as gay, which often takes me a few weeks or months after meeting a new person, but I've seen it happen when someone opens up about drug addiction, or their wife cheating on them, or basically anything where you might want the other person to keep it a secret.

In response to this revelation, the strait man immediately gives you verifiable kompromat on himself, as a way of reassuring you that hey, you gave him a big secret he could socially wreck you with, now he will give you one of his, so you're both safe. You were out on a limb, telling him you have a husband, so now he's telling you about the time he committed treason. Now we're even, I can't betray you by gossiping, because you could get me locked up for 20-to-life. Mutually assured destruction.

Jousting at the festival to impress your lady love!!!

so many responses of “its nice that you’re privileged enough to be able to steal from Target willy nilly!” and that’s not at all what this is about. like, yeah, shoplifting and loitering and graffiti and breaking the rules is, obviously, part of “do crime”. but they’re not parts you have to do.

would you help someone get an abortion where it was illegal?

would you help a trans friend get healthcare that had been criminalized?

would you shelter someone fleeing persecution, even if the law said not to?

would you help a gay couple stay together when the state decided their relationship was unlawful?

instead, would you report someone else for breaking the law? will you snitch on your hungry neighbors for stealing food? on your homeless neighbors for sleeping where they’re able?

do not taste plants if you don't know what they are

do not identify a fruit as edible just because it tastes sweet

hope you didn't eat any fucking seeds, bro

I saw the photo in my feed and went ohh, dude, no, we do not handle yellow rocks with our bare hands until we know for sure what they are. And I know that orange...

In comments, they continue:

and that's where I started cussing at the computer monitor. But someone else had got there first: