c'est pour cela que je suis née

I work for the Marriott next to a convention center and every time theres a furry convention we get complaints about the continental breakfast having hair in it and im like what do you want me to do? Shave them? Shave the fucking furries?

by disagreeing with me on this topic, you're aligning yourself with everyone else who disagrees with me, which includes the Chaos Death Cult, and they chaos kill people so....

we dont chaos kill that many people.

stole some guy's dog and drove off but then i realized i didnt even want this thing so i threw it out the window and it shattered like a vase

Nobody calls each other “terminally online” anymore. I think that’s because everyone is terminally online now. Jobless too. And ugly as fuck. Stains all over our shirts. Stupid as well

boss makes a dollar i make a dime that's why i work at the us mint

hi I work at the treasury and my boss really liked this post

makes it all worth it

hi I used to work at the treasury and my boss didnt like this post as much as I thought

had a beautiful moment of connection. my 14 month old neice was pointing at my beverage and looking like she expected something, so I said “yes baby, this is mugs zero sugar root beer. very good, baby.” but she just jabbed her finger more insistently, and went ‘woof wooof woof’. and this is when I looked closer and saw the mug’s rootbeer bulldog. I almost teared up. I said, “yes baby, that’s the mug’s rootbeer bulldog. woof woof woof. I love you small baby.”

good god when the mr clean magic eraser hits the stove......

the panties hit the floor

you know it brother

Cant tell you how many times I rawd*gged my husband after I caught him using a magic eraser to clean the pasta sauce I burned onto the burner like some kind of primordial insect

you know what i wish you would tell me

We’re both girls you know?

and you still aren’t interested?

does anyone have $1k and a parasocial relationship with me that may tempt them to send it to me

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed