swiffer deserves happiness

well... guys... i ate the mandalorian and grogu...

i was never able to eat food before because mandalorian and grogu wasnt on it now i am spoilt for choice like the flooding nile mandalorian and grogu food is everywhere i cant help my appetite when i see grogue my hunger just grows and grows and grows

I remember as a kid being on edge about being judged for not knowing who singers or celebrities were because I couldn't comprehend that their face, name, most recent performance/song was all other kids needed to 'know' who they 'were' or 'like' them. I thought you like, needed to know who they were from the start, like in order, like a show with a story. I realized this was still the case the other day when it was pointed out to me that jojo siwa was on tv and i was just thinking I'd been meaning to know who that is but I thought I just had to happen on the introduction video and go from there because the idea of finding out information about people 'out of order' makes me feel like i am treading water over a deep abyss. I've actually never been diagnosed with anything

My wifes job is occasionally to be a dead body in things so sometimes her mother and father in law get a new text of her covered in bloody bruises and i have to be like no she died for tv or a game or something

Less than 1% of adverts ever make sense or work at all ever but worst of all is this format where something is juxtaposed without any basis or relevance. They go something like this, youll know what I mean, in the uk those insurance meerkats do it, in the us liberty does it, its like: "Ice cream...? (Ice cream slides off cone) (Woman shrugs and rolls her eyes and smiles) ...no. (Car comes in) Citroen? Yes. New citreon car. Er.. yeah. It doesnt melt when it gets hot". Why are you taking a pot shot at, like, ice cream? What am I even meant to think about that,-- "Whatever insurance can't fill up a balloon for you... (dad tries to pump balloon and says come onnn and it flies away and he sighs) but it can sort youe mortgage out... so you can just let go of that balloon (balloon flies away more and the family pulls up to a new house)". What the hell is this... I know the relative difficulty of a balloon vs a mortgage already... Do yo think I am fucking incapable?-- What is this? Do you think i am locked in a pastiche of quaint domestic experiences... Do you think I have never wondered about the future and past, about places far from my home? About the fate of this species. Do you think I have never held my knees while I took a shit thinking God, I don't want to die-- I don't want to die. That I have thought it would be better for this system to be overtaken by nature, and then internally argued its comparative merits. The comparison of peace and justice. You think I can't understand hamburger unless you also tell me a library or wedding isnt the right place to eat your new messy hamburger with a skit... I know that!! I know that, I've thought about these things!! Fuck!! You fucking bastard. It was you that did this to the world!! All of you, you're all in on it!! *Destroys the big screen controlling society like in the apple advert* adverts have no control of me

whenever a shop website summons a promo deal coupon pop-up thing more than once per visit it does feel to me, sincerely, at least a bit but more like a lot, like a horde of ravenous , truly violent, starving bats, are attacking and maybe even literally killing me

so your laughing at me now but when i unleash my most powerful opinions youll all be agreeing with me, all of you