Korrows

So if one of us names a food and neither of us can explain how it's made, we look up recipes for "homemade [food]" or watch How It's Made videos. If the only video that reasonably approximates the food is Claire Saffitz, the food is automatically deemed Can't Make That At Home. Even though the How It's Made video on Cheetos skips a "trade secret" step, we feel it could be made at home. Whereas Twizzlers, which do qualify as a food, only have weird Healthy Homeschool Mom vibes recipes made with fruit pastes, so we have deemed them Can't.

So far the only Can't are Twizzlers and Froot Loops, with Pringles on a conditional basis, because you could make the chip but not the shape. Most candy bars are automatically qualified as Can but also a giant pain in the ass, so we don't bother with them.

this guy was often one of the first people on the scene following a suspected arson, once emergency services had done what they needed to do. at times, there were also civilians on the periphery. often, they were freaking out, and understandably so; their home or workplace had just, quite literally, gone up in smoke

this investigator wouldn’t try to calm them down. he wouldn’t comfort them or be a shoulder to cry on.

instead, he’d walk up to the person most visibly losing their shit, hand them a fire extinguisher, and say “hey, can you keep an eye out for any other fires, and if you see one, can you put it out with this?”

of course, there was no actual risk of another fire. he wouldn’t be on the scene investigating if there was even a chance that the fire wasn’t completely put out. but the bystander didn’t need to know that

because that person, without fail, would immediately pull it together, take the fire extinguisher, and stand guard. they were, at least temporarily, calm enough for this investigator to do this job

20 Episode 8, “Am

I an Idiom?”

sometimes you just need a cold shower live on stage at the pasadena playhouse