Cats, coffee, and chemistery!

[images: series of tweets from @realavocadofact. tweets read, “they’re not elite they’re rich”, “they’re not better they’re better supplied”, “they’re not smarter or faster they’re buying up others’ lifetimes to do their chores”, “there is nothing wrong with you; you’re doing your best in a game rigged against you, probably not enough people and fruit tell you that”]

I usually hate seeing people being stiffed for their labor but I think it’s very funny ICE agents have not been getting their $50k sign on bonus, many are still waiting for their healthcare benefits to kick in and some are complaining they haven’t been getting their paychecks. You sold your soul to the Exploiting and Abusing People Agency and they started exploiting you too? Wow. Crazy.

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

Every day I think about that one scp story where nobody knows just how big the foundation is (because it's all so top secret) and then they look into it and discover that everyone in the world works for them by now except for one guy

i hate it when people mistake "etymology" with "entomology." like, i know where they coming from but it still bugs me

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

Update; my fluffy 25 pound dickhead of a Maine coon mix Disapproves Strongly of the child locks on the food door. Loudly. Is now attempting to figure out how to work a child lock with his enormous crime paws.

So the big pool thing. Did they not chlorinate it or what? Did they not know you have to chlorinate it? I'm really baffled about what the fuck even happened there. SURELY they chlorinated it.

Oh HEY so like, the Obama administration renovated the reflecting pool to draw from the Potomac rather than municipal water, and installed an extensive filtration system, and APPARENTLY at some point in the last 10 years Trump ripped it out or stopped maintaining it, and look, algae.

Everything stupid that they do is such a great metaphor for everything else stupid that they've done

It's very likely that the paint was not appropriate for the usage to start with, and that that was on purpose. It's a standard shady really-the-mob contractor thing to guarantee more work, I'm told. It's quite possible that himself agreed to it, even, because he gives no fucks about national monuments, but does like handing out favors to friends, like this no-bid indefinite contract.

McDonalds ice cream machine arse groundskeeping

one of my least favorite tropes is when a character has a crush that is explicitely unrequited and hopeless, yet in the timeskip epilogue they inexplicably get married. like bro if you fruitlessly pine after someone and they show no interest for the whole 3 year run of the story and then suddenly change their mind. i think theyre settling for you. quite frankly both of you need to learn some self respect. get divorced immediately.

Embarrassing fact about me is that it took me so so long to be able to tell Ross Bryant and Grant O'Brien apart. I'm sorry guys you're both tall white dudes with similar-sounding names and very very similar voices. I would just wait for the first sex joke or Shakespeare reference.

I feel better now because everyone in the notes is like "yeah same".

They’re a bit Schrödinger’s white man, I think you have to make a Shakespeare reference or say something wrong about a rollercoaster and fix the superposition before you proceed

These pics are taken at different angles under different lighting. When you see them moving around on a consistently lit stage, they're a lot harder to tell apart until you learn to recognise the difference in their voices.

And also the things they’re doing on those stages are high energy gremlin improv for challenges devised by comedic mad geniuses who would be horror villains if this wasn’t consensual with guard rails. It’s hard the differentiate the width of a gangly white man’s nose while flailing like a puppet.

They need to do an episode of Game Changer pitting Ross and Grant against each other on bizarre challenges but using someone completely physically opposite to them as a control - maybe Anna Garcia or Lily Du

They should put Ross, Grant and that Try Guys guy on Make Some Noise and give each of them prompts that are more stereotypically associated with a different one of them

#the last comment is when I realised that Keith Habersberger is not in this post

One man...

Fantastic

I think flinching is such a hit or miss reflex. Like yea a tiny bit of boiling water touched my hand but i dont think reflexivly throwing the water everywhere is a good defensive measure perhaps. might be even worse actually

“Why don’t you use ai” idk man beyond the obvious environmental and “this machine causes psychosis and encourages people to kill themselves” thing I think asking the equivalent of a solid D student who is also a pathological liar if they can answer my question/do the work for me seems pretty fucking stupid