"kahnifegahnome"

Daily affirmations for tesla owners: your car is ugly as hell and everyone hates you

Honestly humans should be able to deploy little parasitic creatures called “learnlets” to go learn new things, or discover hidden ideas, and then return in the evenings

You have to eat them for dinner or other evening meal to gain their knowledge okay

you can seek out and eat the learnlets of your enemies for the purposes of war

i was jumanji’d too when i was a kid but no one cared

i was also zathura’d. i got both jumanji’d and zathura’d. Statistical impossibility but sad and true

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah

the wanter: i don’t want anything i never have

i love the phrase "cruel and unusual." not only is what you're doing mean but it's also quite frankly fucking bizarre

db cooper got back on the plane when people weren't looking

not now kitten. daddy's realizing that the scene he invested 1000 words into could be significantly improved but only if he started over from scratch

always thinking of that “i couldn’t stop wasting time” quote