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@kissingpractise
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hey there! my name is kirsche, i write fic when the adhd isn't kicking my ass. tummy enthusiast, accidentally includes body worship in every fic.
currently into heated rivalry after season 5 of stranger things embarrassed me like that. my ask box is always open for anyone who wants to send me a (nice or interesting) message! I am always open to discuss fics and theories.
MINORS DNI.
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posting wip. is this anything
i want to post chubby hollanov but my fics are not done and i cannot write fast lately
Agree so hard with your post about Shane feeling like his body doesn’t really belong to him/ seeing it as a tool, and loved your point about body modification, including weight gain, as a way of reclaiming some kind of sense of ownership of his self.
Also as a fun coincidence, I literally just read an incomplete long fic in the Chubby Shane Hollander tag on ao3 last night that touched on exactly this! It’s the one called This is what peak performance looks like, and it has this part in Ch2:
“Glancing sheepishly at the door, he pulls up his vest to get a better look at his form. And… yeah. There’s no denying it. He has an obvious belly, the indent of his navel clear through the tight navy under armour. He still has love handles. His pecs look a little harder, maybe, but… yeah.
He’s still finding it a little bit hard to recognize the person in the mirror as Shane Hollander, which makes no sense because even though the weight is definitely noticeable unless he takes steps to hide it, it’s nowhere near enough to change his appearance that much.
Maybe, he thinks, it’s not actually so much that he finds it hard to recognize himself as he finds it hard to feel like his body is… where his mind actually lives, sometimes.
Sometimes, Shane feels like he’s outside himself, controlling hockey legend Shane Hollander like he’s playing him in an MLH All Stars video game – except in this game, he carries on controlling him when he gets off the ice.”
Idk if you’ve read the fic, & in it the weight gain isn’t intentional at first (tho choosing to maintain his new size kind of is), so it’s not exactly the same - but I love that clearly a bunch of us who are engaging in the Hollanov wg internet club are interested in poking around in this particular sub-section of the sandbox.
omg Love that. I haven't been reading that one because I'm already subscribed to way too many wips but that is exactly the vibe, that author is clearly galaxy brained.
ilya in the show: uses less contractions than native english speakers, drops his articles, uses filler words sometimes when searching for proper phrasing
ilya in half of y'all's fics: Me Grog from Cave
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okay but an occult horror angle for ottawa could be so fucking cunt. it starts slow, bc ilya is too focused on the fact that he and shane live closer now and they can see each other more often, and every time the team meets up out at bood’s place he skips town or stays home with shane. but one night shanes halfway across the continent on a roadie, and he doesn’t want ilya to alienate himself from his new team, so he goes.
and it’s normal, at first. it’s a dinner party. bood’s grilling. the rookies are gaming. music is playing. harris has brought a cask of his sisters’ cider. everyone’s having a good time. ilya gets a drink and settles in around the fire pit. he fixes himself a plate.
and his ears gradually start to ring.
(I GOT CARRIED AWAY LMFAO CW FOR GORE UNDER THE CUT)
@commanderbabyboy EXACTLY. YOU SEE IT. YOU GET IT.
and is that thing in the water really so evil if it sheds light on how quickly shanes team turned their backs on him? is it really so terrifying when it shows him what he could have instead of their lukewarm-at-best tolerance?
shane signs with ottawa. he looks good in black and bloodred.
he gets his revenge on those who wanted him smaller. on those who rode to greatness on his shoulders and them cast him aside. when their blood spatters his face, it’s warm, like a lovers embrace. and his lover is there, holding the knife, welcoming him home.
there’s something in the water in ottawa, and shane has finally accepted his fate and drowns.
#myilya
Hey don't throw bricks at me for this but what if Shane gets a little chubby after retirement and what if Ilya goes absolutely bonkers bananas crazy for that.
everyone in the notes …. come join our chubby hollanov appreciation ecosystem 🙏
join us join usssss .....
Hey don't throw bricks at me for this but what if Shane gets a little chubby after retirement and what if Ilya goes absolutely bonkers bananas crazy for that.
op tags are required reading:
ridiculous idea that won't leave my head: in the game changers universe Ilya is responsible for the "we all owe our lives to wemon" tweet.
in my mind it's international women's day and he goes to the club with Svetlana and he's grinding up on her and she jokingly says something like "wow Ilya Rozanov grinding on girls without asking? on international women's day?" and she was, I stress this, fully joking and Ilya knows it but he is drunk and drunk Ilya is a himbo and he starts posting shit on main like "happy international women's day to all beautufk ldies. because all ladies ar ebeustufl. love women. it is so sad that womenhave to deal with period pain. why we have not fixed this yet? @nasa @science" in this great long drunken-typo-riddled thread that goes viral because it's hilarious and stupid and also kind of sweet. anyway the final tweet in the thread is "woman come number one!!! we all owe our lives to wemon" and then after that Svetlana finally takes his phone. Within the week t shirts start popping up that day "we all owe our lives to wemon". Ilya buys one and donates several thousand dollars to a women's shelter
tweet reference if anyone doesn't know it:
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It’s August 2021 and Crowell wants the least amount Hollander and Rozanov in the upcoming season as possible. He stupidly thinks Ottawa is still a crap team in a smaller market. Plus Crowell is willing to eliminate any and all use of either Shane or Ilya in MHL promos. That still leaves the All-Star game and Crowell isn’t going risk both of them ending up there. So what’s an evil MHL commissioner to do? Well 2022 is an Olympic year and he knows that even with Shane and Ilya’s marriage there is no way to get through citizenship and nationality change paperwork before the Olympics and obviously Ilya is not going to be on the Russian team. So Crowell makes the decision that there won’t be a 2022 All-Stars and MHL players can go to the Winter Olympics. Sure enough Shane is selected for Canada (plus Wyatt and Troy) and Ilya is not eligible. However, you don’t have to have citizenship to be a coach to an Olympic team and enough people at Hockey Canada are pissed at Crowell to offer Ilya a spot as a coach (it’s supposed to be an honorary type thing, but he is actually very good). So now you have Shane and Ilya together at the Olympics going viral every five minutes. Anyone who wasn’t paying attention in the aftermath of the Fanmail video is paying attention to the Canadian Hockey player married to one of the coaches. No one from the MHL is allowed to be publicly upset since it is great press internationally for hockey and the IOC loves it. Shane isn’t happy about more fame and attention on his relationship, but it’s worth it to give Crowell a literal heart attack and force his early retirement.
okay someone made a post about Shane feeling like his body isn't his, it's a product or a piece of equipment, and hollanov reclaiming his body via the methods of free use. and I accidentally wrote a whole essay in the tags about body modification and weight gain as a form of reclamation, so I'm screenshotting it and putting it here so we can all play toys about this
One of my angstier/kinkier headcanons for shane (#myshane) is that most of the time he doesn't feel like his body is his. Not in a sense of dissociation or lack of physical control over his movements, but in a sense of ownership. His body is advertising space leased to brands. It's a piece of equipment that must be serviced and maintained in order for Shane to do his job. It's inventory owned by the Metros that can be sold or traded if it's not functioning at an optimal level. It's a symbol of representation for people who don't normally 'see themselves in hockey.'
It's all tangled with his ED and largely unwanted 'role model' status and Shane Hollander TM the product/brand as opposed to Shane the person. But with Ilya he feels grounded in his body. It's not a machine to be maintained, it's a way to give and recieve affection and pleasure. The times it doesn't feel like his body in bed it's because it feels like Ilya's body, like all of Shane is his to do whatever he wants with, and that's so much better. They get into free use in the same ass-backwards undernegotiated way they do all kink because if Shane is going to be an object he wants to be Ilya's cherished object.
I think Ilya deserves to be soft and have long hair that he has to fuss over and silk shirts that are high maintenance and a little makeup routine that makes Shane roll his eyes fondly because it takes so long for some goop on his face and he deserves to go get his nails done and gossip with the nail techs
I love the idea of Shane being not just good at hockey but good at all sports, to the point where it fascinates and infuriates the other Centaurs
Because what do you mean they went to the batting cages for some silly fun to watch everyone flail at an unfamiliar sport, only for Shane to need three practice swings before figuring out the force and timing needed to start hitting every single pitch? What do you mean he sets the course record at the mini golf place they have the Pike twins birthday at? What do you mean he learned how to play cricket over a long weekend in the UK? What do you MEAN your Canadian ass that grew up on a calm, tiny lake went to visit Rose in LA and just learned to surf from “some guy” one of the days she was busy??
Shane doesn’t get why they all think it’s so crazy. He’s a professional athlete, he’s good at full body and mind control as well as adaptability and hand-eye coordination, and he’s so used to being the best in the world at hockey that he views being mundanely good at anything else as barely noticeable. He argues with Troy over whether he counts as being good at basketball just because he killed them all at the basketball shooting game at a Dave and Buster’s
They all start making bets to see who can find a sport Hollander isn’t good at. Harris is convinced he’ll win with figure skating because Shane’s muscle memory will want to work against him with a technique that’s so similar but also so different, only for Shane to come out of an afternoon learning from his old friend who was at the Olympics with the ability to do simple jumps and spins and is insisting the whole team learn so they can incorporate it into plays. Harris is not allowed to make suggestions after that
Ilya just sits back and lustily watches his husband destroy their friends at volley ball, wrestling, tennis, broom ball, and ultimate frisbee. Shane participates in an all pro athlete Ninja Warrior event to raise money for charity and Ilya can’t watch the clips of Shane flying through the course like a bat out of hell unless he is able to fuck Shane immediately after it ends
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Hollanov omegaverse where alphas in rut can NOT be around other alphas. The aggressive pheromones from a rutting alpha has been known to cause other alphas extreme distress, often triggering violent encounters that often end in death.
Alpha Ilya and Alpha Shane sleeping together and easily avoiding seeing the other when one of them is in rut; they legally can’t play anyway and if by some unfortunate timing it happens when they’re playing, they simply treat the other and they move on.
Then they say I love you and it becomes harder because if they have to avoid each other that’s just more time they’re losing when they could be together.
Then something happens during a Montreal vs. Boston game and several alphas on both teams are forced into an artificial rut. Both teams are scrambling to get the alphas into quarantine and away from each other, and then a mix up happens and Shane and Ilya are put into the same room. No one notices until it’s too late.
Everyone thinks they’re going to find the rivals have killed each other only instead they walk into the room to find Ilya fucking Shane yo against the wall, his muscles bulging as he holds Shane there. Shane is drooling little ah ah ah sounds leaving him after each thrust. Someone approaches them to try and get them apart and both alphas turn on them, drawing blood even while locked together. Everyone else quickly leaves, absolutely stunned.
(Instead of tearing each other apart, both of their inner alphas lock onto each other and everything falls into place: Shane desperate to sit on ilya’s knot, using his own copious precum as lube [he leaks the stuff like nobody’s business during rut], and Ilya practically salivating as he forces Shane’s thick cock down his throat, wanting his mouth knotted before he fucks Shane. Them calling each other their alpha, both going a little crazy and cum drunk from the sheer volume of cum they’re covered in. Both of them growling and viciously snarling when the door slams open and someone tries to pull them apart. They’ll spill blood and lick each other’s claws clean when they are left alone.)
Well
If Ilya doesn't want to answer a press question (especially at something non-official) he just pretends he doesn't speak English. Doesn't matter if be was answering questions in English just fine 30 seconds ago. Hockey questions, sponsorship questions, he will usually answer those. But personal questions, the ones Shane always shows away from, those ones? Immediately he's looking at you confused, responding in Russian and heavily accented, broken English, "not understand, no speak."
Someone translates the Russian from one of those clips and it's just him saying, "I don't speak English, stop asking me these fucking questions, go away and good night," and the like.
Eventually Shane is with him during this, and they're being polite and answering the hockey questions and bam, something weird and personal. Ilya goes into his bit, and the reporter turns the mic to Shane, expecting a reaction or at least an explanation.
But no, Shane Hollander starts responding in French. "Desole, Je ne parle pas. Je ne comprends. Au revoir!" And he takes Ilya's hand, and they walk away.
