cherry valley forever
blake kathryn
Today's Document
Three Goblin Art
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if i look back, i am lost
noise dept.
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
wallacepolsom
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
ellievsbear
YOU ARE THE REASON
occasionally subtle
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Peter Solarz
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
tannertan36
almost home
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@kissingpractise
ao3 - kissingpractice
sideblog - likes and follows will not be under this username
hey there! my name is kirsche, i write fic when the adhd isn't kicking my ass. tummy enthusiast, accidentally includes body worship in every fic.
currently into heated rivalry after season 5 of stranger things embarrassed me like that. my ask box is always open for anyone who wants to send me a (nice or interesting) message! I am always open to discuss fics and theories.
MINORS DNI.
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recent events have expanded my mind and i am now considering pear shaped chubby ilya. soft lower belly. huge thighs. biiiiiig fuckin ass. shane losing his mind. join me in contemplation
can everyone in [city redacted] get OUT OF MY WAY
fat shane hollander!!!
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Shane has a reputation of being intelligent, not just bc of his hockey IQ and studious manner, but because of his taste in movies. Hollander's watched a lot of art house films, indie films, foreign films, European films. You know, classy stuff. He's seen everything, though- big budget Marvel, direct to video/streaming, all the mainstream movies, too, but also a ton of ones a lot of his teammates never bothered with. Everyone thinks Shane only eats and breathes hockey, but his teammates know he's also a film aficionado, and he's always their ringer for trivia nights. It's just another weird Hollander quirk... Shane never admits to himself why he started getting into those kinds of films as a teen... at least not for a while.
They all frequently featured hot, naked guys with accents who made out. Gaspard Ulliel, Louis Garrel, Pierre Perrier, Daniel Bruhl, David Kross, Diego Luna, Gael Garcia Bernal, Henry Cavill, Charlie Hunnam...
When he and Ilya start talking about their favorite movies and they watch some of Shane's favorites together... Ilya immediately clocks his shit. And is very amused. Shane's a little embarrassed. But then he gets naked with his hot boyfriend with an accent and they make out.
Shane riding Ilya and Ilya getting lost in the rhythm until he subconsciously notices the pattern.
10-pause-10-pause-10-long pause, lean down to kiss-10-pause-10-pause-10.
“Are you…” Ilya said incredulously. “Are doing reps right now?!”
A lot of people genuinely do hate or dismiss romance novels because they think all sexual frankness in fiction is immoral and harmful, or because they think women (and only women) are too stupid to know fiction from reality, or because they think it’s gross and laughable for women (especially ones they don’t consider fuckable) to have sexual desires, or because they automatically assume that anything popular with women is inferior, or because they only care about fiction being formulaic or light entertainment when it’s something women like. This doesn’t mean that every romance novel is great and deep and progressive, but these people aren’t coming from a good place with their criticism and they don’t deserve a pass.
#it's pretty astounding how many people#(lots of women included)#believe that the primary function of romance novels#should be the moral edification of ladies#to teach them how to properly have a relationship irl#presumably because it's their fault if they get into abusive relationships#if only they had read wholesome books with good progressive values!#abusive guys have no agency btw its the woman's fault for reading bad boy romances
@edwardshundredyearoldspunk: yep
david hollander upon meeting his sons partner for the first time: i am struggling to reconcile this new piece of information with the public image i have of you as a pussymonster
shane will be reading one of his hockey books and ilya will be whining about how his husband isn't paying attention to him and 'how is that book more interesting than me hollander' so shane just decides to start reading to ilya.
now ilya would definitely complain about how boring it is, while being (not so) secretly contented because he gets to listen to his husbands voice who is threading his hand through ilya's hair, but neither of them think ilya's paying attention enough to absorb any of the information.
that is until one day at practice weibe is explaining a play he wants them to do and ilya comments on how 'oh, this is like the <insert name> maneuver from the 1988 playoffs' or something (i don't know hockey) and the rest of the team turns around to stare at him thinking holy shit it's actually happening, they're morphing into one person.
it takes him a second to realize but when the notices them all staring at him he instantly starts to backtrack, 'i didn't mean that, shane, you're turning me into boring canadian, what the fuck, is this what is like in your head??'
shane has never been so turned on in his life.
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I have no idea how omegaverse works BUT imagine married hollanov being in an interview and my Shane has gained just a little bit of weight (because he stopped being so restrictive with his diet) and he is extremely omega coded so the mean reporter asks him if he is pregnant and my autistic baby just stays silent because wow that was harsh and he gets even more self conscious about his body than he already was
BUT his husband takes the question for him.
"Shane's not pregnant. I am." He says confidently.
Then his submissive alpha Shane Hollander looks at him with his big brown eyes and a suprised face.
"Are you?" He asks.
"Probably." Ilya shrugs and Shane's never smiled so widely before Ilya says this.
Hollanov lie detector interview where Ilya begs beforehand to be allowed to ask every Rose Landry comparison he’s ever been insecure about, and he totally plays it out like he’s joking (he’s not).
Shane is like no! It’s embarrassing! And this is public! And you wouldn’t make me actually do that to Rose would you? You know the answer, I’m gay!
Only Rose thinks the whole thing is hilarious and gives Shane the go ahead so there’s no real reason to resist Ilya’s begging anymore, still he holds out to the day before the interview.
“Fine! Fine! You can ask about Rose, but I get to ask about anything I want too!” And Ilya’s like yes yes of course my love. His boring Shane would hardly ask anything damning.
Fast forward to the day of the interview Shane is fondly exasperated with Ilya’s Rose questions, and Ilya is being a cocky bastard so happy with how it played out.
Until they switch sides and Shane breaks out his first question:
“Is it or is it not true that despite famously calling Scott Hunter ‘a nearly extinct fossil’ you think he’s hot?” The blood drains from Ilya’s face pretty quickly after that.
“Do you think Hayden Pike is a good hockey player?”
“Do you consider Hayden Pike a close friend?”
“Who do you love more: me or Anya?”
“Besides me who is your favorite teammate?”
He gets so nervous all of his lies get caught, and by the end his asshole reputation is in shambles. Kip takes a video of Scott watching the interview and he laughs so hard he can’t even comment. It goes viral.
Ilya would also say twins to the gay son or thot daughter question
the whole boston team knowing about montreal jane and they think that ilya rozanov who can pull any girl he wants must have found a real baddie the way he keeps coming back for more and then hard cut to shane hollander on a friday night drinking tea and reading the same hockey book for the fourth time who when ilya texts him asking what are you wearing? texts back my new organic cotton pj set and ilya texts back i'm so hard tell me more
I like to imagine that, partially due to the Hockey Robot stereotyping and partially due to his watertight media training, commentators are constantly going on about "What's going on in Hollander's head? What was Hollander thinking there? Can't help but wonder what the Metros' Captain has on his mind right now." and it's like. Well statistically speaking. Cock.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
imagine this heat and you roll over in bed an there’s some cunt there next to you. bruv id be inconsolable
okay as much as i love how we’re clowning on the whole super soaker scandal can we maybe take this opportunity to show love to smaller human writers who haven’t been recognized enough? please and thanks
