Goblin King

• Claiming St. Peter's cross is Satanic, or that Ankh is Christian

• Thelema, Aleister Crowley, or Magic with a K

• "Qabala" rather than actual Kabbalah

• Talking about Atlantis as if it's real

• Saying "real Satanists" don't believe in Satan or refusing to acknowledge the difference between theist and non-theist Satanists

•Claiming a crystal, incense, oil, herb or whatever else can be used in place of medicine

• The use of lightning bolt symbols, the Black Sun, etc

• Saying aliens built the Egyptian pyramids or that humans bred with aliens

• Saying the Illuminati controls everything or talks of a "New World Order"

• Weird fear-mongering or out-there conspiracies about Freemasonry

• Vaguely alluding to an all-powerful group that's only ever referred to as "the elites" or "they"

• Doing closed practices they aren't apart of

• Refusing to cite sources, or if they do cite sources, it's a TikTok or something

• Referring to ANYTHING the Nazis did

• Tribal tattoos from a tribe one isn't apart of

• Claiming they'll provide you forbidden knowledge or that if you follow their way of life you'll reach God or whatever

• Any mention of Aryans or some superior race in a non-critical/historical explanatory context

• Joy of Satan or The Order of Nine Angels

• Claiming "you were meant to see this video!" when it's a video that is showed to hundreds (or thousands) of people based on an algorithm

• Gatekeeping practices, worship, tools, etc, from a sex. IE, "only women can do this spell!"

• Recommending any work from scammers (ex: Joe Dispenza)

• Discouraging learning the history of a practice

• Claiming deities from different pantheons are the exact same. (Ex: Aphrodite and Venus)

• Using AI in place of real art, imagery, people, etc. (Seriously, I've seen shops on Etsy try to sell me tarot readings with a photo of an AI generated old lady claiming to do the readings, marketing it as if it's a real person.)

If you have ANYTHING else to add, please feel free to do so.

NO ONE CAN TELL ME WHERE THE GIANT PRIMORDIAL NORSE COW WENT

STILL

there is a giant cow out there

licking shit, possibly bringing other giant beings into creation

and like no one ever thought to mention it?

And in the gap

My busy tung

Dus lick and lap

My huf is strong

My horn is curld

I wandr round

ek sleiki ís.

_______

Rough translation:

My name is cow from me ther flow all the rivers down belo. and tho my tung  do pay the price, now i stand here.

it actually inspired one of the poems of my new book Gender/Fucking 🥀

Like he puts on the dress, he keeps his mouth shut, but that is where his contributions to keeping up this ruse end.

Loki is the one who has to come up with an explanation for why the blushing bride has just finished off half the banqueting table and washed it down with four full barrels of mead (“Freyja was so excited for the ceremony, she hasn’t eaten in a week!”) and, when the groom takes a peek under the veil, why she’s glaring at him with such clear murder in her eyes (“she’s er… tired. Like super super tired. Hasn’t slept in a week.”).

Thor barely restrains himself from slaughtering everyone in the room until his hammer comes out, and then he grabs it and uses it to slaughter everyone in the room.

Especially after Thor and Loki proposed that she just marry the giant, she apparently flipped out at them and they immediately had to back off like “okay nope plan B!” 

The Minotaur in his Labyrinth

Roman mosaic

Conímbriga, Portugal

In the Overly Sarcastic Productions video for The Theogony, they mention that Metis was prophesied to bear thoughtful children greater than their father—first a daughter, then a son. Zeus proceeds to avert this prophecy by eating her, yet Athena is born from his body anyway.

Now the thing is, nowhere else in the surviving Greek mythos is it possible to avert a prophecy. It just doesn’t happen. The path you take to avoid it frequently leads to the prophecy being fulfilled.

Then, in their video for Dionysus, it’s mentioned that in some versions of the myth, Zagreus/Dionysus (not just the god of parties—he was also the god of madness, divine inspiration, and rebirth from death) was supposed to be Zeus’ successor. And Dionysus is the only other god to be born from Zeus’ body instead of from a mother. Just like the daughter of Zeus and Metis was.

Greek mythology/religion has no established canon, especially since it evolved organically, and the chances of these two myths connecting to each other is slim to none. And yet I can’t help noticing the similarities in the myths and how they fill each other’s holes. Can’t help conflating them.

So: I want a story where Dionysus isn’t just the son of Zeus and the mortal Semele, but also—because of getting sewn into his father’s body—the son of Metis as well. And therefore, because he is the firstborn son of Zeus’ first wife—and also Zeus’ youngest son, following the Ouranos-Kronos-Zeus “youngest child succeeds” pattern—the true heir of the Olympian throne.