Rock n' Roll Buckaroo

The funniest moment of 2020 was hands down when Trump got diagnosed with COVID and the google searches for crab rave spiked into the ionosphere

love triangles can’t exist without at least 1 lgbt person. cishets just don’t know how shapes work

Most of the characters that people call a love triangle is really just a love corner. And the woman is usually backed into it.

Reblogging for the last comment

can we transfer this energy over to elon musk now that he’s richer than jeff bezos

We could just do both.

so cops are dropping out because they can’t haul heavy equipment for 12 hour shifts while dealing with people screaming at them for a couple days? that’s just working retail thru the holidays baybee. no sympathy.

visual representation of my mental state

I know a lot of landlords are jerks but my favorite landlord ever was an older eccentric gay man and whenever something went wrong in my apartment he would always say “I’ll send one of the boys over.” And then some absolutely shredded young man would show up in white jeans, exceptionally polite, and fix it the same day.

you had the only valid landlord ever

why does this have 32k notes? it’s just a picture of a knife in a ranch bottle, is there some unspoken joke that 32 thousand people share? what is going on here, i dont get it. it’s just a fucking picture of a knife in a ranch bottle. is there some spiritual connection people have to this picture? is there some ominous and mystical reasoning that this has 32 thousand notes? do people reblog this because it makes them look like some indie blogger? or is there just something funny to this? someone please explain

no one tell him

Scheduling this to post on March 15 because it needs to happen.

March 15 again and here we go…

No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck.

And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car.

I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals.

They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.” Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people.

Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night. Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away.

I have to admit I thought they were like a Canadian deer before this.

The commenter above who claims that moose’s eyes don’t reflect light is only partially correct; if you shine a flashlight in a moose’s eyes it will glow like a cat (and then you will probably get killed to death by an annoyed moose) but the reason they are so dangerous to cars at nights is that they are too tall for the headlights to reach. Think about that.

Moose confirmed for actual kaiju.

Now I kinda want a kaiju movie set in Canada where it’s just a moose. Like a regular moose but more aggressive.

@ssalogel

For scale, a female african elephant is 7.2-8.5 feet at the shoulder, according to Wikipedia. A moose is  4.6 – 6.9 ft. at the shoulder. So instead of thinking “This animal is a bit bigger than a deer” you can think “This animal is barely smaller than an elephant”

And they can run up to 40 miles per hour

A 16 wheeler with fur