Yes, your dentist can absolutely tell if you masturbated at home before your appointment. And in fact, a shower and change of clothes does little to hide this. The best step forward is to apologize to your dentist for masturbating.

- mockup of results from my new search engine called "Google OCD"

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

Ugly Duckling sequel where the swan is like hey it's nobody's fault and I don't think anyone did anything wrong per se but nonetheless I did feel really alienated and depressed for most of my youth and those years do continue to affect me in the present day and their mom is like, so what you're saying is that you think I'm a failure and a bad duck.

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

do me a favor and reblog this and put in the tags what time it is for you and what you're currently doing/thinking about

the situation with harry potter is kind of unprecedented in some ways imo because it is maybe the largest media franchise in history to be created & owned by a single person who still has direct creative control over it. who is also a billionaire with significant cultural/political influence. like the usual "no ethical consumption under capitalism" type excuses shatter on impact when the bigoted author in question is logging onto twitter every day saying explicitly that when you buy the tim hortons ravenclaw donut she is using your donut money to fund the genocide of trans people. like with big franchises usually there's at least a little more diffusion of responsibility than this

if i ever wrote a character that was not meant to be eggy but the girls started telling me she's 100% a trans girl i wouldn't be saying "art is subjective, though He wasn't written with that intention" or any of that bullshit, i'd be saying "woohoo", "fuck yes", "this is the best thing to ever happen to me" and things of similar nature

omg finally

i’m going to blow up everything forever.

it implies a "postcum"

the postcum movement encompasses a variety of artistic, cultural and philosophical movements. it emerged in the mid 20th century as a skeptical response to cum,

people make jokes about how people who weren’t allowed to watch spongebob as a kid are always talking about how they weren’t allowed to watch spongebob but as one of the aforementioned people who wasn’t allowed to watch spongebob my insight on the matter is: you would not BELIEVE the amount of times spongebob comes up in normal adult conversations. i don’t often think about him of my own accord but people reference him and i have to say. what? and they say. it’s from spongebob?? and i say. oh i never watched spongebob. and they say why? and i say. i wasn’t allowed to. and then a few weeks later it happens again

scrolling past furry art is like, the top part is a really cool drawing of a wolf on a motorcycle wearing a highly detailed leather jacket, but then you scroll down a little and his giant cock is hanging out for no reason

there's a reason

i fuckin hate games where u furnish/decorate a house because it reminds me i truly have no fucking idea what youre supposed to have in a room