I PULL THEY STRETCH INFINITELY

the best thing about tumblr is that you can watch a show and then you come here and someone has made a gifset of it and you can put it on your blog like a sticker in a journal

i think i'd be checking my phone in the cuck chair to be honest

the structural goal of lesbian media representation is to make being a dyke look as unappealing as possible. u have cops u have bullies u have blandly feminine white women pecking dispassionately it's so disconnected to the vital pulse of lesbian existence that's sexy and subversive and iconoclastic and countercultural. they can't show real lesbians because too many of them are fat communists and look good doing it

It’s too hot to give a fuck that the prime minister resigned…again

This is almost better than finding out new info through the supernatural meme

@ralfmaximus

much appreciation for people who create ocs that are clearly derivative of The Character because even if the inspiration is clear, they had the self awareness that their headcanons had snowballed so far past character analysis into pure self indulgence that there was very little of source material left. and that’s beautiful. sometimes when you’re preoccupied playing touys it’s hard to take a step back and realize you’ve actually created something wonderful and new

all movies are for children because the moving image is inherently juvenile. to be entertained by it even moreso

the public transportation pervert gets off at every stop

Another Chinese option is to fight the bandits (or pirates) for a while, then pardon the strongest group of bandits and hire them to fight the remaining bandits. All enemies will be brought to heel by bureaucracy!

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

2013 was five years ago let that sink in