Most Definitely Totally Normal About It

“im probably nonbinary but idrc about that bc i have a job rn” skill issue detective eddie redcliffe hardlaunched she/they pronouns in the middle of getting accused of murdering their ex-partner by their current partner #goals

The crazy thing is, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, if you asked me on any given day "Would like to see a picture of some genitals?" my answer would be "😰 No, that's... No, thank you. I'm okay, actually." I have nothing but the utmost respect for people who do engage with the penis side of the internet, but personally, I've spent the better part of two decades doing all I can NOT to have pictures of dick and balls or sexy bikini babe buttcheeks blasted onto my retinas constantly. And yet... to be denied the penis? To have a jumped up pile of javascript tell me, a grown adult with an air fryer and an outstanding council tax bill, that I cannot be trusted to withstand the sight of a bare nipple unless I let it scan my drivers' license? I will move heaven and earth to see that fucking nipple, friend. I will walk a thousand miles barefoot on hot coals before I give you big brother bitches my passport number. A thousand miles through the desert with five VPNs just to press my face up against the glass and see the last uncensored picture of two My Little Pony Characters sixty-nining each other, and I don't even want! to look at it! But I will! I must! for the sake of our fucking democracy!

Bro, we are cooked. The knight that dogs the prince's shadow like a dark and silent wraith just knelt to press his forehead to the prince's hand. Yeah, now he's uttering a prayer whose recipient is ostensibly God but in reality is the deified version of the prince that exists only in his mind. Aaand the prince just caressed his cheek to preemptively grant him absolution. I gotta... I gotta get out of here.

Bro I just nearly fucking died

My throats fucked but I like inhaled toothpaste and my throat seized up and I couldn’t breathe worst part is I spat toothpaste everywhere trying to get it out of my mouth and my throat is like fuzzy now?? Water did not help honey tea might

Absolutely flawless how did you get these photos?

I can never leave here

rereading the Last Binding trilogy, and it’s great how there’s a specific moment when Hawthorn thinks of Maud, “lol she’s shaped like a commanding officer”, accidentally internalizes that thought, and is completely incapable of un-internalizing it for the rest of the books. Yes, he is showing up whenever summoned to use his lordly influence to get this girl out of Situations. No, he also does not know how he got here or why he’s doing this. Society(TM) thinks they’re sleeping together, but unfortunately she’s entirely a lesbian and his ex is effectively her brother-in-law, and moreover that would violate the chain of command.

sorry to be brave on the internet but I think food labels should list every single ingredient and that there should be harsher penalties for mislabeling and deceptive labeling

Also, if they change the Ingredients, they should put in big letters on the front "Now contains peanut flour" or whatever, because yu can literally kill someone by sneaking it into something that's been a safe food for a decade or more.

Can't just say "spices." WHAT SPICES

Fujoshi wife fills her house with chintz knowingly