Keirbear

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

we desperately need sex 2

i just know someone's going to mention kink. girl that's still sex 1. we had to invent BDSM cause we didn't have sex 2. tis but a pale reflection. but it's coming

kink reaches mayyybe like sex 1.3 if it hits just right

when sex 2 comes out what sorts of quality of life updates will be included to help draw in people who never really got into sex 1

more pleasurable. more intellectually stimulating. higher skill ceiling. more dynamic metagame. optionally more mental-emotional alignment between parties. less cleanup. more intuitive. more variety in sensation and activity to match diverse sensory tendencies. smoother integration with parties' coupled emotional processing. and so on

Fishing minigame.

Fishing minigame

Starting a new sports team called the Tampa Bay Trespassers and they play any sport that they can break onto the field of

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

whats cool about being trans is my parents are totally right. i did kill their beautiful son. im the thing that animates his corpse in an ever more convincing parody of a happy girl. i devoured him from the inside out and now there is nothing left of him and he is dead dead dead and there is only me, with my hollow eyes and dark eyeliner and long hair, and my big smile. my limp, effeminate gestures belie the marionetting of the boy they loved. my fagginess is his death. already his body becomes a fitter home for my parasitism in full; the tits, the hips, the thighs. sorry about your kid. thanks for the biomass <3

joe camel should have fucked the marlboro cowboy

the most fun a girl can have is finding parallels, noticing patterns, making connections, contemplating

if i were a beta in the omegaverse i'd be so mad watching my coworkers get paid heat/rut leave while i get nothing. it's like when your fuckass coworker gets to take a cigarette break mid-shift and come back smelling bad but instead they get to go home and fuck nasty for a week because they made the choice not to take suppressants meanwhile i have to stay in the office running spreadsheets with debra whose scent patches don't do anything to hide the smell of mothballs or the alpha from marketing she's cheating on her husband with

many people have responded to this expressing doubt that Wolverine could possibly retain a subpar bj technique after so many decades of experience, to which I would like to respectfully counter that the man is stubborn as hell and never learns shit about fuck

this is why sending me anon hate is a losing game btw without fail I'll turn it into a platform to talk about comic book characters having mediocre sex