Keairane's Bookshelf

Would you happen to know of any fics with a very complex characterization of Draco and Harry with a bit of gut wrenching situations? Preferably older D&H after the war. I'm even open to tragedy, even cheating(?) and just something that is out of the ordinary. I know I'm shit at explaining this but, I'm just like, craving a fic that has adult problems, where one/both of them are at a moment of life where things are complex. Maybe H left D a while ago and married someone else, and then after a few years he sees him again and is just lost in a haze of "what if I hadn’t?" or "what to do with myself now?" because getting back with him isn’t easy? I'm sorry for this weird messy ask but you are the first person who came to my mind who I thought could help me out? Sorry for rambling so much! It's definitely alright if you can't find anything like this of course! Have a great day!

What an interesting ask, anon! I’m a bit picky with gut-wrenching themes but I do love myself a thought-provoking, mature fic. It’s about the implications and complications amirite 🤌🏼 this list is a personal take so I’m not sure it is what you’re looking for, but here are some fics that came to mind when I read your ask. Pls mind the tags before jumping in. I’d be very curious to see what my followers rec too!

Kissed by Pie (M, 12k)

Draco Malfoy was attacked by a rogue Dementor on the night of his Azkaban release. He self-exiled to Muggle London and opened a late-night chocolate shop called Kissed.

Poor Unfortunate Souls by DoubleApple (E, 19k)

Draco is a potioneer. Harry is trying to save his sex-challenged marriage. Everything is a mess, but at least there's an octopus in the lobby.

Unfinished Business by cupiscent (E, 20k)

Ten years after the War ends, Harry and Draco still haven't got their act together. But maybe it's not too late.

Stain of Silence by brummell (E, 28k)

After the war, Draco serves out his sentence in Harry Potter's house.

He Who Must Not Be Normal by lettered (E, 41k)

Potter has fame and fortune and posh clothes and all he wants is a simple life. Draco has a flat and a cat and a steady job and all he wants is a complicated life. Which makes you think this story has something exciting like body-swapping, but it doesn’t.

On One's Knees by pir8fancier (E, 34k)

The war is over and to the victors go the spoils. If you are triggered by infidelity, this is not the fic for you.

REVOLVEVLOVER by firethesound, zeitgeistic (E, 46k)

The work Harry does is justifiable. It’s justice. He works for his country, and his country is a republic—the magical side, anyway. It’s not laudable work, it’s not work he’s proud of, but it’s necessary work. Harry has always taken the necessary jobs that no one else has the stomach for. It’s just that he’s never deciphered a kill sheet and seen Draco Malfoy’s name on it.

Nightingale by michi_thekiller (NC-17, 60k)

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages. -Jacques Deval

Super Rich Kids by trishjames (E, 81k)

Draco Malfoy has become disillusioned by the glitz and glamour of the scandalous lives of the Post-Second Wizarding War Pureblood Elite. Enter: one existential crisis, one group of thieving cynical friends, and several terrible, terrible decisions.

Merlin Works in Mysterious Ways by lordhellebore (M, 82k)

When Harry is forced to form a Blood Bond with Draco Malfoy under threat of death, he thinks his future will consist of a cold home and sexual frustration. But when a group of left-over Death Eaters decides to stir trouble, their lives change completely – and it takes them both some years to figure out whether it’s for better or for worse.

Danse Russe by Frayach (E, 140k)

True Love. Soul Mates. They're just words until put to the test. Harry and Draco have a bond that was forged in the hell of the post-war years and pulled them both back from an abyss of nihilism and self-destruction. Nothing can break it, or so they believed. But True Love can demand sacrifices too great to bear and deeds too terrible to justify.

Plus 2 fics I haven’t read but can vouch for the authors as I’m very familiar with their work:

Unhook the Stars by jad (E, 70k)

Seventy-thousand words of pornographic discourse between two boys-turned-men that still haven't learned how to communicate like normal people – with words.

Freedom to be by Quicksilvermaid (E, 170k)

“Do you think it’s worth it?”

“Do I think what's worth it?” Malfoy is in the middle of the bed like it’s a pedestal built just for him, lean and still spread out. He’s twenty-two minutes into a thirty-eight minute process involving his fingernails. Harry’s got his feet propped up on the desk but the apathy of the pose doesn't seem to be taking. 

He gestures.

“You do this, you know.” Draco says, not having bothered to look up.

“Do what?” Harry asks. He leans back, the chair protesting.

“Go back to the dregs of a conversation from three days ago as though it’s a perfectly normal tendency.”

Harry bites his lip, considering, but not about that. "It felt unfinished.”

“You stopped talking.” Draco replies, smooth. He's doing the whole nail thing all by hand. The blunt tip of a wand isn’t sensitive enough, he'd explained the first time. Funny to think of magic not being sensitive, of Draco being so acutely careful about something Harry sees as mostly pointless. Though that's being eroded recently along with a few other things - he's not ever going to be concerned with the application of varnish on his own keratin, but he's at least recently stopped being annoyed to even know the word. Maybe if an instrument is held softly enough it becomes something else, gets to grow deeper than blunt usefulness.

Harry hums and then says the thing he avoided saying days ago.

“I don’t know if it will work.”

And, what a misleadingly uncomplicated term - only two lean lines huddled together. Do the mean jab and the quick strike sustain a distance between the i and the t? Will that always be part of it?

It eclipses, blocking out an enormity. Standing for. Heavy and redolent and Harry still doesn’t look directly even though he returns to the bedrock day after day, greedy about the unreal warmth, wanting wanting wanting. Cock-struck, Ron says, but the past month even the frown’s been starting to dissolve, he says it laughing almost. And it's more than that. He's sitting here watching the boring nail thing, for instance.

“What point is there in talking about this.” Malfoy says, holding up the thumb on his left hand for inspection.

Malfoy has this while Harry has it, which Harry thinks means nothing, or means Malfoy keeps the qualifier a little nearer to himself than Harry does, close enough to point at. Under the same sky, at least.

“I don’t know.” Harry rearranges himself, elbows on his knees, holding up his chin. “What if we cock it up?”

Draco’s lip curls up, which Harry suspects is more about the coarse spotlight turned towardthe thing between them and not as much a strummed fear of loss, the one that's on of a constant low broil in the moment suspended between Harry's chest and gut. “We probably will.”

“So what’s the point?”

“Come here.” Draco says, glancing up then. He's so handsome there's sort of an ache to look at him, weird and ethereal in the middle of a boring afternoon. He’s pale enough that it makes the world along his edges seem vicious in vividness by comparison. “Let me do yours.”

Up on the bed, Harry lets him. He doesn’t give a shit about fingernails, but supine and barely moving like this, both of them breathing steadily and Draco with his hands over and under and having Harry’s - he thinks maybe here is the holding, this, it, whatever.

“What’s the point of any of it?” Sometimes Harry thinks Draco talks just to linger under the plush shield of his own voice, sometimes Harry thinks he’s really saying something. “Even you don't get to restrain a living thing and demand it stay perfectly still so you can make some notations about the distance from the nose down to the tail. If it's minute or a nice day or a nice few years - a hundred, I don’t know.” Harry looks at him, surprised and Draco hurries past, busily staring at the hand he’s holding. “Not a hundred. Probably two at best.”

Harry laughs.

“But it’s the-” Draco bites his lip, Harry is listening very much. “It’s not about how much. If you’re busy trying to calculate that you’re missing the entire rest of it, the real thing. Isn’t there a phrase? Seeing the eggshell and missing the yolk?”

Harry’s laughing so hard Draco swats his hand to still it. “Oh, definitely not.”

A small, true grin is dawning. “Seeing the skin and missing the organs?”

“You’re disgusting.” Harry’s smiles, too.

“The ineffable stuff, then. I don’t know." Draco’s eyelashes are nearly flush with his cheek, he's talking to the bend of Harry's wrist, the soft curl of his fingers. “Can’t it just be something worthy of awe? Why does it have to be enough?”

“Are you high?" Harry asks, laughing. "Where the fuck did this come from?”

Draco shrugs, Harry's hand still in his. Outside, it’s a really beautiful day, but he’s been forgetting about that, lately. He's finding it increasingly difficult to remind himself of anything else when it feels like the horizon has inverted and lives inside his chest.

Maybe, awe. It seems conceited to demand to know the quantity of a miracle. And who is he to decide a landscape is worth more than a glimpse? 

I’m back with a follow up to last year’s Valentine's Day reclist, featuring a whole new cast and crew of Drarry writers, artists, reccers, and fans!

Once again, the question was: ‘what one or two fics, or scenes, or quotes, represent peak Drarry romance to you?’ and to make things even harder, no duplicates from last year were allowed. I’m absolutely thrilled yet again with the vast range of fics chosen, many of which I wasn’t familiar with myself, and would urge all of you romantics to check them out!

Featuring answers from academicdisasterfic, babooshkart, bluebutter-art, booktopus, caroll-in, cavendishbutterfly, citrusses, crazybutgood, emmalovesdilemmas, epitomereally, geesenoises, getawayfox, ghaniblue, gryffindorhearts, kbrick, lettersbyelise, makeitp1nk, moonflower-rose, mxlfoydraco, oknowkiss, sleepstxtic, sorrybutblog, wolfpants

Like last time, those fics which did come up more than once are in red, and I let people have more than two, or poly fics, or art if they wanted because I’m still a softie!

***

@academicdisasterfic

💗Running on Air by @tinyhistory (T, 75k)

It's easy to lust after someone, to match their face to a missed heartbeat or a sharp intake of breath. It's easy to say, I want them because of the colour of their eyes, the lines of their body. It's something else entirely to say, I want them because of the way they rest their hands on a steering wheel, the way they gaze out a window, the way they say my name.

💗Relic Radiation by @tackytigerfic (M, 1k)

The screen blinked red around the edges, a countdown, and Draco leaned in even closer and said, “I mean literally. I’m on your side of the planet right now. And I’m coming back down soon, remember. I mean, I have to. But I would anyway. Just hold on for me?”

@babooshkart

💗Polar Night/Midnight Sun by toomuchplor (E, 54k)

“You drive me mad, Potter, you –”

It’s mutual, Harry thinks gladly, tearing at Draco’s flies. He feels mad, like an idiot, like a reckless thoughtless – but here’s the mindless joy of Draco’s mouth on his, and Harry falls into it, falls and falls until he forgets he’s falling, and stops wondering if he’ll ever land.

@bluebutter-art

💗Dear Stranger by @iero0 (T, 23k)

“I want you to hold me,” Draco says, and adds, “I want to hold you,” because he doesn’t know which one is truer. It starts like a hug Draco would see between mates. But Potter clings to him and rests his head on Draco’s shoulder. He has never realised that the other man is a few centimetres shorter than him, but Draco can comfortably nestle his face in Potter’s hair, redolent of cedarwood and vanilla, and urge his face closer to his neck until he feels Potter’s nose and his stubble not against his robe but against his skin. These broad shoulders that appear so unyielding melt to Draco’s touch.

(also just every time Harry writes "I hope you had a reason to smile today" in his letters to Draco)

@thebooktopus

💗Glowing by @cavendishbutterfly (T, 9.7k)

“It’s been so good with you,” Draco said. “It’s been easy. I don’t have to think about it around you, I can just be.”

💗Develop, Stop and Fix by @onbeinganangel (E, 15k)

It’s the face that surprises Draco the most, not one he’s ever seen in the mirror. It’s a soft expression, half surprise, half adoration, a small shy smile playing at his lips. Draco might have been in love even then, if that face is anything to go by.

@caroll-in

💗Preserving Lemons by @saintgarbanzo, with art by @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm (E, 17k)

Harry takes Draco's hand. "I don't know. I liked the way you cared for me. You showed up and you just wanted what I have to offer. I don't have to be anything else for you."

@cavendishbutterfly

💗the way you make me glow by @softlystarstruck (M, 11k)

“Mate,” Ron says. Harry turns to them, finding their clear blue gaze already on him. “I don’t think anyone could care about Draco better than you do.”

Wrong, Harry signs out of shock, his cheeks flushing with heat. Ron shakes their head emphatically, their glowing halo wobbling in its Suspension charm. “And I don’t think anyone else could care for you the way that Draco does.” Harry drops his hands, at a loss for any words, whether spoken or signed.

💗Quick as a Flash of Lightning, Unhurried as Eternity by onbeinganangel, with art by @babooshkart (E, 10k)

Right in that moment, this is everything Harry has ever wanted. Draco is, in bed, the same he is with Other Harry in every other way. Gentle, full of praise. His hand grabs a hip — firmly, but his thumb never stops rubbing the skin under, he runs his hand through Other Harry’s hair — passionately, but he bends down to press a kiss to his temple as he does.

@citrusses

💗The Four Doors by @fluxweeed (E, 49k)

“I can’t believe we just did that.” Malfoy’s voice was awed.

“I know,” Harry agreed fervently. “I never thought you would actually – It feels like I’ve been wanting it forever.”

At that, Malfoy let out a snort of laughter. “It’s been a few weeks, you said?”

“But I can only remember five and a half months,” Harry countered. “So, percentage-wise, that’s a good chunk.” “Even percentage-wise, it’s still no contest.”

Malfoy’s eyes glittered. “Finally, I’ve beaten you at something.”

💗9 ½ Days by @magpiefngrl (E, 70k)

Draco’s hair flew in the wind. His robes flapped, as green as the young barley. ‘I’ll survive. I know how to do that. I’ll do anything to have more time with you. One day.’

‘I’ll burn the world down if I have to,’ Harry said.

A sad smile. ‘I know you would.’

@crazybutgood

💗A Kind of Dwell and Welcome by @rainbees (T, 22k)

(the whole fic, for poetic writing and great feels and Austen vibes)

@emmalovesdilemmas

💗The Seventh Life by @corvuscrowned (E, 18k)

“I love you,” Harry said quietly. He said it more like a realization than a confession, like he was surprised by it, like he wanted to taste the words. “I love you more than anything else this life could offer.”

Draco believed that Harry believed it. Draco pulled him into a slow, lazy kiss, indulgently long and exploratory and sweet. It wasn’t the fucking he had missed the most — it was these kisses, the way they fit so perfectly together. It was Harry’s arms around him. It was the quiet of the night, and those slow, peaceful breaths, and that heartbeat behind any chest Draco could find it in.

💗Eager for the Sky by oknowkiss (M, 35k)

“We were chopping veg for dinner one day and he told me that when my mum was pregnant my dad would cut her fruit, every day, whatever she wanted. He’d have Sirius running halfway across London — because they were stuck in Godric’s Hollow, you remember I told you — and then whatever Sirius brought, my dad would cut it into little pieces, and he’d arrange it on a plate and bring it to her.”

Potter sighed, finally looking up. “Sirius said it was the only time in my dad’s life he was ever careful,” Potter swallowed thickly. “He wanted her to have all the best parts.”

“Harry—” Draco tried.

“I didn’t ask you if you wanted this,” Potter said, looking away again, pulling Draco forward with the downward cast of his eyes. “I just wanted—I wanted to say—and you’d never had it—I thought—”

“Harry—”

“I’m not saying I’m like, in love with you, or anything,” Potter said, all in a rush, his cheeks gone red.

“Merlin, no,” Draco agreed.

@epitomereally

💗Code Name L by GallaPlacidia (32k, download here)

“Did you know that most figs have dead wasps inside them? Something to do with the wasps pollinating them, crawling inside them, and dying. The fig digests the wasp body, then we eat the figs. I really fucking hate wasps. I really fucking love figs. I don’t think, like, “I love every part of this fig except for the dead wasp.” The dead wasp was, in fact, a necessary part of making the fig. It’s completely part of the fig. And I love the fig completely.”

💗Take the Moon by tackytigerfic (M, 15k)

"Draco.” He slid his hand across the trolley handle so it met Draco’s on the other side, their little fingers nudging on the plastic. “No matter what, no matter where, I want you with me. How did you never notice that?”

and

“Babies should grow up knowing how loved they are,” Harry said, feeling wretched. “That’s the only thing that matters, that they know they’re loved. But with you, I’m greedy. I’m selfish, Draco. I want you to love me back so badly that I can actually feel it in my body. It's like, the way I want you could take me over and I wouldn’t even care. I thought that you must know, that everyone must see it in me. I never imagined that you didn't realise."

@geesenoises

💗A Bottomless Well by @teledild0nix (E, 10k)

"I think I'm feeling it," Draco says foolishly when he's shaken off the distraction of exactly how marvellously pond-coloured Harry's eyes are.

"Me too," Harry leans in and kisses him. It's lovely, and Draco thinks he might live in this kiss, the stove at his back and Harry pressed to his front, cupping one still cold hand to his cheek, the back of his head, whispering cool fingertips against the back of his neck. But Harry draws back, and Draco realises with sudden clarity that there's a well of this contentment, this joy and affection he feels are drawn up from a well inside him with no bottom. However much he draws up, there'll always be more when he wants it.

@getawayfox

💗Make This Leap by @oflights (M, 118k)

💗if you've changed your mind by warmfoothills (E, 20k)

💗Paper Rings by lettersbyelise (E, 50k)

💗Finely Drawn Lines by @the-sinking-ship (E, 42k)

@ghaniblue

💗Licurici by @lou-isfake (Drarry x Charlie, E, 133k)

Harry had fallen asleep between them, as usual, his limbs tangled up in them like roots, his breath soft and warm on Charlie’s skin. 

💗Foundations by saras_girl (E, 236k)

Harry doesn’t even mind that Draco always acts like he’s just decided to casually drop in ‘on his way back’ from St Mungo’s every Saturday, even though they both know perfectly well that Grimmauld Place is no more ‘on the way’ to Wiltshire than Edinburgh is on the way to Venezuela.

He knows exactly what it means, incorporating Draco into his outside-of-work routines, and it feels scary and risky and warm and just like it fits. He also thinks he knows better than to push Draco into any sort of overt declaration of intention, and it’s OK, because he’ll be here, Harry knows he will.

💗Away Childish Things  by @letteredlettered (T, 154k)

"[...]I loved you—all through it. Do you understand? I loved all of you.”

@gryffindorhearts

💗Salt and Sauce by onbeinganangel (T, 3k)

“That’s you. I think… I hope I got it right,” he says. There is really no way Harry got it right, but Draco flips the lid open and… stares.

@kbrick

💗More Than That by joosetta (E, 11k)

“Do you love me too?” Potter asked.

It dawned on Draco then that Potter might not actually know, that he might have been as lost and confused about the whole thing as Draco had been. Potter who had described how love was just a story with a drawn out ending, who sometimes looked at Draco like he knew exactly what he was thinking. It hadn’t occurred to Draco.

“Of course I do, you enormous prat,” Draco said, feeling his face heat up and his throat tighten. He wasn’t just sad, and he wasn’t just happy, he was in a kind of ecstasy in between that. “I don’t know how you qualify to teach children when you’re so dense.”

@lettersbyelise

💗Stop All The Clocks (This Is the Last Time I'm Leaving Without You) by firethesound (E, 45k)

“Potter,” Draco sighed. He finished spreading jam on the piece of toast and handed it to Harry, then licked a smudge of jam from between his thumb and index finger. “You know, when you love someone you should always cut their toast in triangles.”

Harry frowned at him. “Triangles? But what’s that got to do with…” He trailed off and looked down at the toast in his hand. “You… But you’ve always cut my toast in triangles.” He couldn’t remember a time when Draco hadn’t.

“And I’ve always loved you,” Draco said simply. “You’re it for me, Potter.”

💗A Private Reason For This by @femmequixotic (E, 92k)

“For nearly half a year, they’d fought and fucked and fought again until, in the middle of a night of blindingly intense coupling that’s left Draco shaky and light as a feather, he’d been a complete idiot and whispered those words he’d been thinking into Potter’s ear as he came.”

💗so rest your weary heart with me by bluebutter-art (M, art)

it takes a storytelling master to express the depth of Harry and Draco’s connection without writing a word. The support and solace they find in each other after the war, panel after pitch-perfect panel, will warm your heart and make you fall in love with those two all over again.

@makeitp1nk

💗Our Little Life by tackytigerfic (M, 7.3k)

“Henri,” Malfoy said, and the concerned little crease between his eyes deepened as he looked down at Harry. “Myne owne hertis rote,” Malfoy said quietly, and real-Harry didn’t know how he understood, but he did—and in that one suspended dream moment, he was so glad to be able to understand, and he wanted Malfoy to say it all again, so badly—and he smiled at Malfoy, almost unable to help himself, real-Harry dimly horrified at himself for it but dream-Harry just allowing himself to do it, and enjoying it.

💗knead, then let rise by softlystarstruck (T, 7.2k)

“I’m telling you that I try to make everyone believe I can handle anything.” Turning to face Harry, Draco’s mouth is impossibly close and his sunhat throws Harry’s face into shade, a moment of shared respite. “I’m telling you that no one else has taken me to the sea, and no one else has made me a dark chocolate cake from scratch for my birthday, and I’ve never had someone who wanted to make bread with me before, and–” Draco breaks off, twisting his mouth fitfully but holding Harry’s gaze. “I’m telling you I’m rather delicate, all things considered, and I don’t know what exactly you’re doing to me but it isn’t fair.”

💗Let Me Count The Ways by booktopus (E, 3.6k)

Harry’s love is in his actions.

@moonflower-rose

💗Is This Love? by @phdmama (E, 3.9k)

“Harry’s smile is full with everything he’s feeling, and it’s all right there on his face, but he still sounds tentative as he says, “You make me feel loved.”

“Well,” Draco swallows and his voice cracks on the words he’s never said before.“That’s probably because I love you,” and then Harry kisses him again.”

@mxlfoydraco

💗A Sword Laid Aside by @korlaena (E, 128k)

Draco is floating and high on Harry’s happiness, and he wonders if Harry even notices that with a single expression he so easily and exquisitely destroys Draco. He wonders if Harry can hear the thunderous heartbeat pounding in his chest, heralding Draco’s downfall.

and

Draco had always imagined that it would be some dazzling, sweeping emotion that would overtake him and make him see fireworks when he fell in love, but he’s surprised to find how the feeling is more like a small flame catching the edge of a page and slowly but surely spreading to every corner until there’s no part that hasn’t been enveloped in it.

@oknowkiss

💗heavyweights by warmfoothills (E, 29k)

“What now?” Potter doesn’t look worried, his gaze level as it meets Draco’s, a flash of something odd, too happy and young in his eyes. Draco has no clue. Short term, they should probably get off the rooftop before Draco’s fingers go completely numb. Long term, he should probably start calling Potter by his first name. The idea of it doesn’t really make his stomach twist uncomfortably anymore.

He shrugs, the movement of it made lopsided by the way Potter is pressed so closely against his left side. He doesn’t tell Potter that he might be in love with him, but he thinks maybe Potter gets that something has once again shifted and settled between them, hopefully for the last time. For now it feels ok to just stay here for a bit, Draco’s home spread out below him. Maybe sort of pressed right next to him as well.

@sleepstxtic

💗Contretemps by moonflower-rose (T, 8k)

(This one is so light and funny and such an effortlessly lovely read. I love all the works of this author, and was lucky enough to be able to gift them a fic for Erised myself. This one has to be my favourite fic of theirs, though. Just, such a delight.)

💗Tapestry by kbrick (E, 91k)

(This is a *masterpiece*. I still haven't gotten it together long enough to give this fic the comment it deserves BUT it was such a stunning, unputdownable read and I recommend it as a must-read to everyone.)

💗Game... Set... Malfoy by nanneramma (M, 2k)

(Might be biased because this one was a gift for me but IT'S SO GOOD and I really do feel like it's one of those underrated, hidden gem type fics. It's Draco and Harry playing tennis and it's *hilarious* and so wonderfully written and I just love it so, so much.)

💗Strangeness and Charm by feelsforbreakfast (E, 46k)

(This is an old one but it's AMAZING. I have no words, just one of those ethereal, dreamy classics.)

💗In the Company of Serpents by @corvuscrowned (E, 25k)

(Another *incredible* fic by corvus. Such a unique concept and the prose is so soft and flowy and pretty. An instant fav of mine.)

@sorrybutblog

💗The July Tree by oknowkiss (E, 51k)

“I love you,” Draco repeated.

“Oh,” Harry said. His eyes had gone wide as saucers.

“Aren’t you going to say it back?” Draco asked, trying not to wince at how needy it sounded.

“I—I’m just—yeah,” Harry said. He shook his head. “Sorry, yes. I love you,” he said. He was smiling and sniffling and sort of huffing out laughs, looking totally deranged, as he said again, “I love you. I love you so much. I’m like, really angry about it, actually.”

“Not angrier than I am, I assure you. I can’t believe you’ve made me love you so fast,” Draco said, wiping the tears off Harry’s cheeks with his thumbs, which he then dried on the stupid sweatshirt. “This is the worst thing you’ve ever done to me.”

💗Such Great Heights by aideomai (E, 93k)

"I'll try," Harry said, shocked into honesty in the early hours of the morning. "Okay? I'Il try. For you," and Draco let out a shivery little breath and pressed himself in closer against Harry's body, like they could fold into each other and into the shadow and just stay like this forever.

"You drive me crazy," Malfoy mumbled again. "You always have."

"I know," Harry said. "I know. Come on," and they went upstairs together, slow and tired, pressing into every corner they found to kiss.

@wolfpants

💗Countdown to a Life by tackytigerfic (E, 3.5k)

(I think this fic is absolutely phenomenal - I go back and read it often. It leaves me breathless every time, an absolute masterclass in Drarry friends to lovers perfection. Every emotion just leaps off the page. It's a very short fic but by the end I feel like I know them fully.)

💗Yours Truly by @skeptiquewrites (M, 15k)

This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.

As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: “fuck him on the floor.” The use of “chintz” is indeed great word choice.

Because I’m insane, decided to scan the poem:

Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.

There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of “keep it real” juxtaposed with “chintz.” It causes me to interpret the “chintz” more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of “fuck,” which is a contrast with “chintz” but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where “chintz” is flimsy and inanimate.

And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is “filled with chintz”—something that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with “keep it real.”

The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wife’s marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something “real.” That’s a story, and it’s just two lines.

This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, y’all. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.

you are under arrest!

I was also away from the fandom the past three years, we share the feeling! I'll go for +100k and skip super well known examples (e.g., Grounds for Divorce)

Alucinatio by alexmeg (127k)

"It's... it's not good," Harry tells them lowly. "They've given him a month's time, only." There is so much he needs to explain, but his head is foggy and exhausted and he can't think properly, can't think of how to relay all that he's learned. "Have you heard of Alucinatio?" is what he starts with. "The Daydream potion," Hermione says. "The person who intakes it experiences very vivid and realistic daydreams of all they could ever want, but is essentially in a severely catatonic state out in the external world, incapable of any basic functions." Harry nods. "Somebody's given it to Malfoy." He remembers the tattered remains of a black coak wrapped around Malfoy. "I think it might have been Professor Snape." They take a minute to process that. "And... the cure?" Ron asks. "Tears of anyone the experiencer craves love of," Hermione answers.

I Do Not Love You by Writ_and_romance (228k)

In 2013, a carefully-designed Obliviation leaves Harry reconfiguring his life and identity without any memories of true love; an act that’s essentially erased Draco Malfoy from his mind despite a wedding band and shared home. In 2000, Draco had expected Pansy’s relationship with Luna to bring the Gryffindors a bit closer to his orbit of quiet, carefully pacifistic existence, but he never expected to navigate such a transparent embrace into a unit of family, friendship, and love. A mystery, two love stories, and a reminder that learning to love never has an end date.

Nor All That Glisters by @sweet-s0rr0w (110k)

Lonely and frustrated on house arrest, with no prospects for the future, Draco begins brewing Felix Felicis in an attempt to improve his lot. Just in the short term, of course. He isn’t a total idiot.

But before long he finds himself with a thriving business, a nice flat, some actual (albeit irritatingly Gryffindor) friends, and a very satisfying sex life. What’s more, no-one is hexing him in the street. And Harry Potter is single, and gorgeous, and giving Draco decidedly interested looks.

Stop taking the Felix? You must be joking…

Soup-pocalypse and The Great Curry Cataclysm by @norelationtoatticus (104k)

Eleven years after the war, Draco Malfoy leads a quiet, boring, and perfectly respectable life, thanks very much. Or, at least he does, until a sudden and very unexpected veela awakening causes him to throw soup all over Harry Potter in the middle of the Ministry cafeteria.

Every Hour Has Led to This by @sassy-cissa​ (105k)

Banned from the wizarding world and sentenced to live as a Muggle for ten years, Draco Malfoy finds his world turned upside down. Navigating the Muggle world becomes easier thanks to help from some unexpected strangers who become family. But when his mother insists Draco fulfil an agreement set when he was a child, he finds himself married and a father. Then a divorced single father. After the war Harry Potter found himself without purpose, until an unexpected offer changed his life. Playboy, Quidditch star, war hero – Harry seems to have it all, until a Quidditch accident ends his career. Lost and without purpose, Harry’s life is lonely until a surprising event brings him to Draco’s door…literally. Running parallel lives for nearly 10 years, when they reconnect both Draco and Harry find the passion for life that had been missing. A story of love and loss and how the best things in life happen in their own time

Pages of You by @wolfpants (101k)

Summer, 1980. Harry is floating between university and becoming a Real Certified Adult. He's not ready. He really isn't.

In a desperate attempt to have the Best Last Summer ever, he takes a casual job at his godfather's bookshop in London, starts an illicit pen pal affair with a wordy posh boy that he's catching feelings for, all while dealing with the son of Sirius's business rival, one Draco Malfoy, insufferable know-it-all extraordinaire.

A story about trying to figure out who you are, where you're going in life, and who you want to take along with you.

Notes on a resurrection by newleaves (126k)

It was never Draco’s intention to raise Sirius Black from the dead.

The Liars Department by @dorthyanndrarry (103k)

This is a story about Harry meeting up with Draco Malfoy four years after the war. And a story about Harry, well, not hating his job per say, but it's not like he has much to compare it to and it seemed fine. His whole life seemed fine. Then Malfoy came along with and his flashy suits and fast car making everything seem dull in comparison, and Harry... Harry couldn't just leave well enough alone.

Turning Leaves by @kbrick (112k)

Draco and Harry have a one-night stand that ends in disaster after Harry tells Draco he's unable to move beyond their poisonous past. So when Draco finds an unusual Time-Turner in the Department of Mysteries, he seizes the opportunity to start fresh with Harry. Only instead of fixing things, he keeps making them worse.

Bolts by @lqtraintracks (114k)

Harry joins the Hogwarts staff as the new History of Magic Professor, while Draco has already been teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts for the past year. When Samantha, a first year, is being bullied one day and throws a made-up Truth curse at her harasser, only to accidentally hit Harry instead, Harry becomes cursed to tell the truth, and not only that, he has to regularly tell it to Draco Malfoy. Samantha is clearly gifted, maybe the most powerful witch or wizard to ever come through Hogwarts, and yet she has no idea how to take the curse off. As they work to remove it—and also teach Samantha how to control a power that's becoming more dangerous by the day—will Harry's truths become too much to handle? And will whatever’s going on with Draco just make everything exponentially worse?

Freedom to be by @quicksilvermaid (169k)

Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived. 12 years after the war, he's become the Boy Who Lived For Everyone Else. He has the perfect wife. The perfect house. The perfect job. The perfect friends. Only nothing feels perfect. Until one day he stumbles across a club called Release and begins a journey of self-discovery that takes him to a very different place.

By the Grace by @letteredlettered (139k)

Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.

Two to Shore by Lamplighter (204k)

Harry and Draco meet in Madam Malkin’s and instantly take a liking to each other. Just kidding. They don’t, but Harry does get sorted into Slytherin, and they do become extremely good friends.

Way Down We Go by @xiaq (109k)

The war was over. Or at least that’s what the papers said. They’d been saying it, for months, as if people needed reminding. Maybe they did.

In which Harry and Draco both run away from their pasts and conveniently choose to hide in the same tiny American town. It's super.

Nyctophilia by prolonged_autumn (107k)

Everyone's back for 8th year, and Harry and his friends seem determined to spend their last year in school running around at night, hyped up on coffee and alcohol and Honeydukes candy, doing all the childish things they didn't have the chance to do before. Draco watches as he's always watched: from afar, quiet and bitter and hopelessly in love. That is, until Pansy decides she's had quite enough of it.

Make Yourself by @anyaelizabethfic (103k)

Harry just wants to be safe within the freshly painted walls of Grimmauld Place, with his friends around him. But when he hears Draco Malfoy has been spotted at the local soup kitchen, he can’t help but encourage a different type of stray to come under his roof.

Kept Man by @drarry (147k)

A downtrodden Harry Potter in a serious dry spell is looking to be a kept man, and a lonely Draco Malfoy responds to his anonymous ad. A perfect storm of lust, scandal, and maybe even love. A Daddy Kink Magnum Opus.

The Ordeal of Being Known by @lou-isfake (146k)

When Auror Potter is anonymously cursed with silence by being forced to hide his own voice inside his mind, there’s unfortunately only one person in the country with the qualifications to fix it: Certified and Licensed Healer Legilimens, Draco Malfoy, specialist in Mind Curses and Afflictions. It’s obviously a terrible idea, a disaster waiting to happen, but Draco’s never been able to back down from a challenge… especially from Potter.

Harry Potter and the Welcome to the World of Grey by @sobsicles (456k)

When Harry fails to keep his anger at bay and Voldemort possesses his mind, the events that follow lead him down a long road to realizing the world isn’t as black and white as it seems. Chaos, hilarity, and tragedy ensue with a Dark Lord being honest all the time, a rival becoming something else, and a world demanding to be saved. Featuring frightened Death Eaters, deep conversations with a monster, Pureblood traditions being ridiculous, and the fight to do the right thing with no true options. Harry’s life just gets more and more bizarre with each passing moment. ~~~ Or, the one where Harry’s life gets split in half, and he has to figure out how to bring it back together.

The Secret Keeper by @the-fools-errand (225k)

On Halloween 1981, Albus Dumbledore made a decision that would change the course of history, concealing Harry Potter’s survival at the hands of Lord Voldemort underneath a Fidelius Charm. But when Harry comes of age in the Muggle world, Dumbledore realises too late that the fate of the world may depend on a boy who has never held a wand. An unlikely team assembles to teach him everything he needs to know before the charm runs out, but only one of them knows the truth behind the Dark Lord’s return to power. If it were anyone else, Draco would have no problem turning them over to the Death Eaters, but there’s something about this certain bespectacled idiot that has him questioning everything he’s ever known. Will Draco seal the fate of the wizarding world by uncovering the Chosen One or will Harry save Draco from a fate of his own?

Dwelling on Dreams by @the-sinking-ship (135k)

Draco thought he could avoid Potter for the duration of his brief return to England. He’d stick to his schedule and be back home in Paris, where he belonged, in a few short months. No trouble at all. He had plenty to occupy him, what with the opening of the London branch of his successful apothecary, his innovative research, drinks with Pansy, a backlog of unread potions periodicals. Except Head Auror Potter is everywhere — in Draco's chair, at his door, in his dreams. All six feet of motorbike-riding, combat-boot-wearing, sex-hair-sporting Saviour of the World packed into one unfairly fetching uniform. Potter won’t leave Draco the bloody hell alone, won’t let him breathe, let him forget, let him sleep. Because no matter how fast Draco Malfoy runs, Harry Potter is always hot on his heels.

A Sword Laid Aside by @korlaena (128k)

When Draco’s cover is blown during a deep undercover operation and the Ministry is compromised, Ron takes Draco to the only safe place he can think of—Potter. Hiding out with a taciturn Harry Potter, who has been missing from the Wizarding World for almost two decades after a shocking fall from grace, is nothing like Draco thought it would be. Draco has to navigate dealing with this Potter while being hunted by Dark wizards and wanted by extremists in the Ministry. When things take a turn for the worse, Draco has to decide whether he's going to keep running or find a way to protect the world and the people he cares about most.

Changing Tides by @carpemermaidtales (109k)

Draco has spent half of his life spouting the things his father has taught him without much thought about how he feels about what he says. When he unexpectedly comes face to face with the Dark Lord, he grapples with the harsh realities of the world and struggles with his changing views on life. Instead of doing what’s expected of him fifth year, he joins Dumbledore’s Army and learns how to defend himself, how to make his own choices, and how he can be something greater than his father’s example as he grows into his own man rather than his father’s shadow. The choices he makes change both his and Harry’s fates, intertwining their paths until they converge.

Taking Chances by @gracerene (135k)

After the war, Draco disappeared and started over in America, vowing never to return to Great Britain and the fraught past he left behind. Unfortunately, when his mates convince him to sign up for an exchange programme for the last year of their Auror Training, Draco learns that he doesn’t have much of a choice in the matter.

Graceless Heart by @orange-peony​ (132k)

Harry is lost and broken after the war. He has gone to countless funerals, broken up with Ginny, moved back into Grimmauld Place—which feels darker and dirtier than ever before despite how much he tries to fix it. He feels lonely and desperate, but he won’t ask for help, and he still can’t cry.

When he agreed to help the Aurors at Malfoy Manor over the summer, he thought that he would be breaking dark curses. Harry never thought that he would actually spend his days sorting out dusty books with Draco Malfoy, or teaching him how to cook.

Little by little, as they begin to navigate their life post-war, Harry and Draco become intimate…in more ways than Harry could have ever expected.

Brave Though The Stars They Make Me by @dwell-the-brave (108k)

So, my Identity Saga has recently found a resurgence — super cool! I love when that happens, because it proves writing is timeless and people can discover written works long after they were created. I love that so much about creative arts. I can read a fanfiction from 20 years ago for the very first time and tell the author decades later how their efforts impacted me. Seriously, so cool.

Unfortunately, as with any resurgence, that also means it found an audience it wasn't meant for. Eh, it happens. Doesn't bother me in the least bit. People read things, don't like them — it happens. God knows I've come across PLENTY of things that made me shudder and go "nope" and click away. After all, no one is ever going to create something that reaches a universal audience. That's okay.

Only... I'm finding a troubling trend with fandom participation not understanding that simple concept. That not everything posted has to cater to you. That it's okay to not like something, and simply move on from it.

In a day and age where social media consumes our every second, please realize your opinion is NOT REQUIRED ON EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH. I say this with all the love in the world: Your opinion matters. It doesn't always need to be heard. Especially if it's not-positive.

More and more I find myself seeing fans [usually/almost always non-content creator fans] criticizing fanfiction because it didn't appeal to them/wasn't perfect/had flaws and errors/to repeat myself, didn't appeal to them.

That's.... infuriating, for lack of a better word. Because it fills fandom with entitlement. Again, usually from people who don't even create content. [Way to stuff your face with food while shaming the chef for what he cooks.]

I've noticed this trend emerging for the last handful of years, and while the assumptions on the why is plentiful — generational differences, over abundance of content access, ect — I'm not here to start discourse on the cause. No, I'd like to open discourse on the prevention of the problem, and possibly bring awareness to fans I HOPE aren't doing these things with ill-intention.

Cause, ya know, lets make effort to keep Ao3 from turning into FF.Net. For those younglings that didn't experience the pain of "flames" that literally threatened your physical safety because they hated your story, count yourself lucky.

I'm going to be doing this — starting this discourse — with a plethora of examples of a user that I had the unfortunate pleasure of being introduced to. Thanks to that prior mentioned resurgence of my passion project Identity Saga. A series I write for me, only me, and share with others because they also like it. I don't write it for criticism, I don't write it for money, and I spend 95% of my free time between two jobs writing it because it's something I enjoy. If you don't, and if you're "disgusted" by the amount of mistakes, errors, flaws, plot holes, ect that exist within it — that's okay. But that means walking away. Not dropping criticism where it's unwarranted.

I will not be disclosing their AO3 account. This post is not intended to bully them. If you know who they are, keep the discourse to the problem. If you ARE them, I truly hope this is a lesson you're willing to learn. But this is not a bullying post. Just as your comments have been made public, I've made them public to....well, the public.

Here's the thing. Fanfiction is written works, fanfiction is uploaded for the consumption of an audience, and fanfiction is open for said audience to join around and discuss the content they just consumed.

But fanfiction is also free. Which means you, as an audience, do not pay for it. Fanfiction is, in many ways, the equivalent to sitting around a campfire and listening to someone tell a story. If you aren't interested in the story, walk away. If you and your friends wanna discuss the negativities of the story later on, you do it in private.

Again, in a day and age of social media, please realize not everyone wants to hear your opinion all the time. Especially if it's not-positive.

Fanfiction writers, almost always, do not open themselves up to criticism. They spend their free time writing what they want to write and lend that for viewing to others. If you do not like it, they do not care to hear your opinions. Are you welcome to have opinions? Absolutely! Should those opinions be made public to the author? Not unless the author requests it.

So...no.

See this "Your Bookmark Comments Are Public So Watch What You Say" post for further detail on that.

With all that outta the way, let's dive into some completely unwarranted, pretentious, unnecessary, and overall negative bookmark comments by the Wannabe Robert Elbert of Ao3.

Oh...oh, okay. Interesting notation. I suppose that's fair to note? I mean...it's sorta petty, don't you think? You DO realize many kids get into writing with fanfiction, and learn many things as they go? I started at 8. If people didn't encourage me positively, I'd have never kept going. They never mentioned my atrocious dialogue punctuation or grammical mistakes because they could tell that I was young, starting out, and had potential. We need to lift up our fellow authors, regardless of their inability to be "properm"

This...this isn't published works. I don't expect flawless, "proper" writing styles from fanfiction. I'll HAPPILY overlook these two things you mention if the story is good. But, uh...yeah, okay, let's make that bookmark comment. Not gunna harm the author at all when they see it. 🙄

OH. Again? Really? Why are we making these remarks? Are you the authors beta? Rule of thumb: If you see mistakes in fanfiction, and it's not something you plan to address personally with the author, you don't point it out. It's rude. And... unnecessary. You're the classmate who spends more time trashing their fellow students project as opposed to focusing on their own.

....see above.

Translation: The author worked really hard to write what THEY wanted to write but I don't like it so I just skipped it and told everyone they can do the same because their efforts don't mean jack shit to me.

Advice: If you don't like the way the plot goes, move on. Sucks to see a story take a turn you weren't anticipating, but some other reader wanted that ending and enjoyed it. Or maybe just the writer enjoyed it. After all, fanfic is written for the author, not you.

The way you talk about the Authors as if they aren't human beings who spent countless hours/days/months/YEARS sometimes of their lives creating FREE CONTENT drives me insane. You talk about us like we're AI robots spitting out fanfiction for you to chew up, spit out, and immediately demand more right after.

Authors have feelings. Authors do not want to see this shit. Even if you're gunna critique the continuity errors of somebody's plot, you do it in a respectful, dignified, "sandwiched style" constructive way within the comments.

Then why did you bookmark it? You've said literally nothing nice about this story. Why?

Omfg. Unless you're gunna offer to beta every single persons works on AO3, stop with the "incorrect dialogue punctuation."

.....🤨

No words.

Let's move on.

I'm sorry, I was mistaken before. NOW I have no words. Because I truly can't begin to wrap my head around what you must do for a living, as you clearly have SO much free time to consume (and consume and consume and consume) FREE fanfiction, only to dismiss it within a bookmark as "this barely makes the cut" What cut, User? Are we...are we all uploading our passion projects to appease YOU? Is that what you think?

If you didn't like it, move on. This isn't Twitter or Facebook. No one needs to know you spent your evening reading a story, didn't like it, but kept it on your collections because.....again, ???

I capped so many comments from this User but unfortunately can only upload a small selection. I did count that, in my screencaps, there were 25 comments on 25 different stories about "incorrect dialogue punctuation." They have 1k bookmarks and in my browsing, I found less than 10 that had positive comments.

Why?

Just....WHY?

Again — you're allowed your opinions. But fanfiction is NOT written for you. It is written by the author, for the author, and said author chooses to make it public. The latter does not open the doors to unwanted criticism. If you want to critique content without any positivity in your feedback, go elsewhere. Or make it private.

This is toxic fandom behavior. And if you're not creating content, you definitely don't have grounds to stand on.

DRARRY WORLD TOUR REC LIST a collection of my favorite Drarry fics that are set outside of England! I love exploring all the ways Draco and Harry can come together and these writers capture them beautifully in so many different settings.

in between two tall tall mountains (there’s a place they call lonesome) by @oknowkiss, E, 8,291 words set on the Oregon coast

In the shadow of a mountain on the Oregon coast, there may or may not lie a shipwreck, on which there may or may not be a magical relic, lost hundreds of years ago. Harry’s been tasked with finding it, and Draco is there to take notes, and they’re stuck in a campervan pretending to be married, and it’s all going to be just fine. That’s what Draco’s gotten rather good at telling himself, anyway.

Bridges by @cavendishbutterfly, E, 16,108 words set in Budapest

Harry and Draco are on a trip to Budapest to help with Kingsley’s re-election, but that’s the boring bit. More interesting: Harry Potter is changing his Tinder preferences to include men.

Preserving Lemons by anonymous, E,  17,196 words set in Italy

There’s probably some immutable magical law that if someone steals your wand to destroy the century’s most murderous maniac you then bump into that someone in Italy. Harry is cooking food he couldn’t care less about; Draco is making art he couldn’t care more about. A story about kebabs, miniskirts and the way preservation can transform a lemon.

Forever Was A Lie by @thesleepiesthufflepuff, E, 22,001 words set in Rome

After breaking up with Charlie, Harry heads to Rome for Christmas to search for answers to a previous heartbreak. What he doesn’t expect is for Draco, the man who broke his heart five years ago, to be running the bed and breakfast he’s staying at.

Potential Gravity by @lol-zeitgeistic, E, 32,052 words set in Beirut

Draco is not good at Cards Against Humanity, but Harry’s not good at being human, so it all works out. Except for the explosions. And Harry’s inability to live when Draco’s not around.

The one with Beirut and video games.

Forged Through Flowing Water by Tedah, E, 40,394 words set in India

When Hermione sets up a diplomatic mission to begin repairing the damage British colonisation did to Indian magical communities Harry isn’t going to pass on the opportunity to visit and help his family’s home country. Maybe he should have asked a few more questions about the personnel she had recruited for it before signing on because Malfoy surely has an ulterior motive to be there.

Knead by @jovialobservationanchor, E, 83,103 words set in Oregon

This is not a story about Harry renovating Grimmauld Place.

This is a story about coffee shops and brewpubs, about Ginny and Luna on a farm with creatures, about magical Oregon, coastal road trips, flying, friendship, and Draco Malfoy’s lean arms.

Wild by orphan account, E, 92,749 words set in Ireland

“No,” Harry said, by way of greeting. Malfoy’s blonde head rose slowly, carelessly. “Get out.”

“I feel as though we’ve already established this, Potter,” Malfoy responded. “And I feel that what we established was that you telling me to get out of places really doesn’t make me more likely to vacate them.”

I Am Not Who I Became by mab_di, E, 93,188 words set in Finland

Draco left England after the trials and has travelled the world meeting wizards and Muggles from different cultures and with vastly different relationships to magic, each other, and the natural world. Now he’s a fisherman in Finland on commercial vessels. Harry has been struggling since the war and has become a recluse while trying to write his autobiography. An invitation to the Hogwarts class of 1998’s 15th reunion isn’t welcomed by either of them, but neither could predict how the night, and their reunion, will upend their lives.

Between the Power Lines by @tackytigerfic, M, 3,261 words road-trip through the American South

For Harry Potter, all roads eventually lead to Draco Malfoy. Or: this is not an AU! It’s just Harry and Draco meeting by chance in an imported food shop in Connecticut and going on a road trip together. Featuring motels, cacti, Americana, and a hefty dose of pining.

Look For Me In The Sun by @wolfpants, M, 8,737 words set in Northern California

Harry and Draco are on the run in America after a mysterious string of werewolf-like attacks in the Muggle community causes the Ministry to impose new and harsh anti-werewolf legislation. Giant trees, crashing waves, seedy motel rooms, and the long and winding coastal road awaits them, but will they ever be able to go back home?

Faint Indirections by ignatiustrout, T, 29,793 words set in Boston

Draco Malfoy is the last person Harry expects to turn up in Boston, Massachusetts. But now he’s here, and he won’t stop requesting books from the library where Harry works.

Way Down We Go by @xiaq, T, 109,767 words set in rural America

The war was over. Or at least that’s what the papers said. They’d been saying it, for months, as if people needed reminding. Maybe they did. In which Harry and Draco both run away from their pasts and conveniently choose to hide in the same tiny American town. It’s super.

Mending (in the Mountains, with Monkeys) by khalulu, G, 3,322 words set in Sichuan

Do you want a free signed (by both me and Deacon!) copy of LRPD shipped straight to your door? Of course you do.

Rules for entry: 1. Must be following me 2. Like this post 3. Share this post

Closes October 1 midnight. Winner to be announced October 3rd! I'm doing a separate giveaway on Instagram if you want to double your chances. :)

The Blurb:

Nineteen-year-old hockey phenom Alexander Price is the youngest-ever captain in the NHL. With a polarizing social media presence and a predilection for dirty play, he typifies the stereotype of young, out-of-control athlete. But away from the cameras, Alex is a kid with an anxiety disorder and the expectations of an expansion franchise on his shoulders. And maybe he tries too hard to fit the part of asshole playboy, but it’s better than the alternative; in his line of work, gay is the punchline of an insult, not something he can be.

Eighteen-year-old vlogger Elijah Rodriguez is a freshman in college recovering from an injury that derailed his Olympic figure-skating dreams. Mixed-race, disabled, and out of the closet since he was fourteen, Eli is unapologetically himself. He has no qualms about voicing his disapproval of celebrity jocks who make homophobic jokes on Twitter and park their flashy cars in the handicapped spaces outside of ice rinks.

After an antagonistic introduction, Alex and Eli’s inexplicable friendship both baffles and charms the internet. But navigating relationships is hard enough for normal teenagers. It’s a lot harder when the world—much of it disapproving—is watching you fall in love with your best friend.

“What is wrong with bananas. I ate a banana today and it was Wrong. America why”

“Every time I put on my eye makeup it gets bigger. My whole face is eyeliner now.”

“Why does friendship feel so much like punching”

“When I wake up in the middle of the night I am either thinking ‘who am I? does my life have meaning?’ or “did I already eat all of the plums?’”

“Why are you so grumpy” they ask me. they do not realize this is just my Face.”

“I know i said i would give my left arm for a cup of coffee but i am more awake now and i would like my arm back please”

“Guy in front of me won’t move his car seat up. I think that might still be upset about all those times I tried to kill him.”

“Got lectured by a guy who had been complaining about how things were Back In The Day. I don’t understand why he got upset. I too lived through the Great Depression and was drafted for the War.”

“The economy in this century sucks. Who exactly though another Stock Market crash was a good idea?”

“Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them. On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.”

“‘If you don’t behave we’ll send (mutual) after you.’ Jokes on them. I’m the one who trained them to be an assassin in the first place.”

“Tried to buy a Chicken Dinner candy bar at the supermarket today. Turns out they were discontinued 54 years ago. Super bummed.”

“Wait. People were on the moon?! We got into space? There is a way off of this rock?! Why am I only just hearing about this?!”

“'Have you been living under a rock the past 50 years?’ No I was cryogenically frozen for 70. I don’t appreciate your tone young man.”

“was having a hard time finding noodles in the grocery store & asked a clerk for help. she looked at me like a crazy person. lady, it’s not my fault you don’t speak russian”

“what kind of idiot thinks dancers are sissies? literally every ballerina i have ever met could kill an adult man with just her legs”

“today i discovered Conditioner. the future is a miracle and my hair like a cloud now”

“apparently just jumping on to a moving bus when you are running late is not a thing people do anymore. please stop yelling at me.”

“went to a club last night to see what the hip kids were into. apparently the latest thing is just having sex standing up with your clothes on in a room full of people.”

“on the one hand, people dressed much nicer in the 40s. on the other hand, yoga pants.”

“i am working on this whole Good Guy thing but anyone who cuts me in line at starbucks deserves to have their kneecaps shot out okay”

“why did they have to make escalators so terrifying to get on and off of? from now on I’m just jumping off the mall balconies. none of this awful moving teeth staircase”

“i don’t care if it’s a ‘priceless historical artifact,’ punk, i didn’t wanna do the dishes and it makes a pretty good spaghetti bowl”

“hoodie pockets are so great. i can fit like three sandwiches and a grenade in there and my hands are still warm”

“i really though we would have flying cars by now. the future is such a letdown.”

“changed sam’s ringtone to jesus take the wheel.”

“do you know that feeling when you go to lean on your short friend’s conveniently arm-rest-height shoulder but you forget they had a huge growth spurt and you just awkwardly lean your elbow into the middle of their bicep”

“you ever think about opportunities you missed, like, ‘goddamn it, if it weren’t for bad luck I could be the prince consort of England right now. you’re sitting in my chair, Phil.’“

“the only reason why tv and radio weren’t used for porn from the start was because everyone would have been embarrassed to have their kids in the same room.”

“this jonny depp motherfucker’s on thin ice with me, disrespecting the legacy of tonto like that. come here and catch my titanium fist in your face, you birdhat wearing sonovabitch.”

“heard that bruce lee used to wire up his abs to electrodes to work them out for six hours a day, and i’m like, just six? just your abs? get on my level.”

“it used to be that making your handwriting look nice was just a thing people did, and knowing how to type was a specialized skill how things change.”

by decree of fire lord Zuko, first of his name, son of lady ursa, and prince Iroh, the burned, the phoenix prince, the aggressiv peaceful, bender of the colourful flames and wielder of the dual swords (if you know what i mean), master jerk-bender, the blue spirit, your friend lee with the good cup of tea, tea server during the weekend at the jasmine dragon open from 7:30 am to 7:00 pm from Monday till Sunday, ginseng 50% off and every 10th cup of tea free what a steal, daily heart attack for the kyoshi warriors, defeater of sleep, most comfortable living heater according to the avatar and his allies, best ichy spots scratcher; herby declares!

that if this post is granted 1000 notes, he permits princess Izumi first of her name, born under the south star, the peaceful, the sun drop, the sun flake, the soft wind, the gentle fire hazard, mini sparky, the living sunrise; to rise and keep lily pad frogs in the pond next to the turtledecks!

-approved and sealed

by fire lord zuko.

---

Sokka and suki are supposed to help him keep the fire nation in check. not teaching his daughter argumentation tactics and how to formulate contracts!

“Favorite ice cream: butter pecan. I married a little old lady.”

“Favorite Ben and Jerry’s (this is different then regular ice cream) Phish Food. Has no idea who Phish is just thinks the chocolate fish are neat”

“Favorite donut: old fashioned, for breaking in half and sharing with with the dog.”

“Favorite coffee: iced. Do not offer hot coffee under any circumstance. The only hot beverage allowed is hot coco and the yearly white chocolate peppermint mocha”