munching on some karrots

Why do they even make apps for ADHD. You want me to use my 24/7 handheld immediate distraction device? To manage my 'gets distracted too easily' disorder? Ooooh we developed the perfect tool for managing your anemia. Its hosted in Dracula's castle. 👍

Picked up my phone to consult my task list for today and now I'm reblogging this instead, case in point

sometimes i be saying im gonna go to bed and then i dont go to bed. frequently in fact. this is because i have the heart of an optimist and the soul of a liar

A not insignificant number of things were named that way because outsiders came in and said “what do you call this” and the locals misunderstood the scope of what they were asking and said something like “that thing you’re pointing at? this is a rock.” and the outsiders were like “got it. Your entire country is called ‘this is a rock’”

See: Canada. The entire country called some equivalent of “small village”.

My favorite misunderstanding I’ve had to clear up so far was a Japanese person asking me about the word “fuck”. Because apparently someone had told him if he said “fuck” in America that he might be killed on the spot. Which I think is the funniest lie that I’ve ever heard

it's good that the word "four" is "four" letters long

One of the two types of strap a masc needs

the innkeeper tells my valiant and brooding sword-wielding companion that there is only one bed. luckily ☝️ i never go anywhere without my Therm-a-Rest NeoAir XLite NXT Sleeping Pad (size regular/short, 11.5oz)

love the idea you’re not setting this up on the floor inside the room.

when i have a cold-weather sleeping bag and merino base layers?? i have to laugh.

In the meantime, your valiant and brooding sword-wielding companion freezes their ass off in the inn, misplacing a couple vertebrae on what is mockingly referred to as "a bed." Which will probably not help with the brooding for a couple days.

damn I could’ve prevented this if I’d had the foresight to also carry a second Therm-a-Rest NeoAir XLite NXT Sleeping Pad (size large/wide, 1 lb 1oz)