now with 42% more nonsense!

Took Ollie to the vet today. And I'm not gonna say who. But ONE of us had a panic attack immediately after the checkup and wouldn't get out of the sink

a friend with a boyfriend is a type of dead wife

skrillex's "bangarang" used to play

what now?

Silence unending, interurrpted occasionally by flo ridas "cant believe it"

Hollywood execs responding to the success of Backrooms by trying to adapt more stories from Reddit, a website that the Backrooms did not come from, is p. good but my fav example of Hollywood leaping on a trend in the dumbest way possible is still when they responded to the success of Tim Burton's Batman by making a wave of movies based on 1930s pulp heroes. Dudes sitting around a boardroom telling one another that the children crave The Phantom

overheard in the coffee shop from a middle aged gay man to his (female) friend: “are you embarrassed? about being foolish? please manage yourself better in this situation. this man is not behaving as if he is interested in you.”

“he’s evil. like jeff bezos. Do you understand.” and she’s just nodding with eyes downcast in shame

i forgot to add this until now but after the gay guy was done scolding his friend and they left, their table was taken up by an aging european twink telling a wealthy-looking bubbe with increasing distress about how much cold cut meat he’d eaten the night before and the funnier she found it the more distraught he got about his nighttime deli frenzy

he was like [completely unidentifiable european accent] after you went to bed. i ate ze ham. and ze mortadella also… and. also the prosciutto. no stop giggling at me zis is not funny it was 500 grams each. i ate 500 grams of ze ham and 500 grams of ze mortadella and 500 grams of ze prosciutto and that is ONE POINT FIVE KILOGRAMS OF MEAT !! I ate so many meats!!! Stop giggling at me i am going to be fat!!!! I even ate ze cheeses!!!

so many people are tagging this with some variation of “that coffee shop was full of such interesting people i wish i could go somewhere like this to people watch” and as a seasoned eavesdropper i need you all to know that people are this weird wherever you go. recently my gf and i were observing a gaggle of real estate broker bros hopped up on stimulants pacing around like caged tigers and performing homoerotic rituals through the proxy of their iced lattes and it wasn’t even 10am on a tuesday. the world is a beautiful place full of intricately bizarre human animals waiting to be studied

you cannot make a post about how men put women in certain boxes without someone going "but what if i love the box? what if i've decided that it's comfortable in the box? are you gonna tell me i'm not ALLOWED to like the box? not very feminist of you to police a woman's decisions... maybe you'd be less ugly and miserable if you stopped talking about the box LMFAO #Girlboss #MyBox<3"

#and its like. 'what if ive decided its comfortable to be in the box' it is always going to be more comfortable to be in the box #they will reward you for staying in the box and punish you for trying to leave it #that doesnt mean the box is like. a good place to be — @butchfaith

my tea bag broke

Guy who is about to give birth to leafs