noot noot

[so horny my eyes are defocusing] maybe i ccould be your sword

Guys, you’d never preform amateur impromptu surgery on me, right? Right?

of course not! *very deliberately avoids looking at the part of your torso where we got drunk one night and replaced your kidney with a game boy advance that filters your blood using an algorithm encoded in an eternal battle between two lvl-5 magikarp "theyson" and "themson"*

Hahah. *beeps* what was that sound

“FUNK YEAH CONCRETE”

in my experience if you're learning a language but you're worried about not pronouncing it right or sounding ridiculous in front of native speakers, I'm here to tell you that most people do not care. they don't care if you have an accent or if your mother tongue is peeking through, because in all honesty, everyone has an accent. it's unfair and frankly unrealistic to expect people to bear no remnants of their native tongue when speaking another. you've spent your entire life speaking your language, interacting with the world in it; your understanding of language is built on your native one and its natural sounds. no one can expect you to entirely shift how your brain processes words and sounds. most native speakers will just appreciate you trying at all. if it's comprehensible, if the gist of what you're saying gets across, then it's good enough. if you're trying, your accent is fine.

everyone saying "but the french-!" you're absolutely correct. this is a general statement to which french is the exception

i love tragic characters who get their whole world ripped out from underneath them and then completely fuck themselves and everyone around them over in the most violent unnecessary ways imaginable

ijust think its fun when a character loses something important to them and decides to kill people and then themselves about it

I was a pirate and one of my buddies lured me in with her beautiful siren voice but instead of dying I back a mushroom pizza.

i recently drew an eevee taking a bath in a little baby tub and it made me wonder how would you groom different types of pokemon? maybe a trainer with a jolteon or a luxray would have a brush with a rubber handle to minimise electric shocks. do fire types prefer sand or dust baths? maybe a bug-type trainer would have a specific brush for their team’s carapaces. a pet groomer in the pokemon world would probably have an entire arsenal of special tools

being an adult is just dragging urself kicking and screaming to things that you will enjoy and that will be good for you

clenching my teeth and muttering under my breath "you'll be happy you did it you'll be happy you did it you'll be happy you did it" as I physically force myself out the door to go Do Things

being very firm with myself every time I think about bailing and saying "no. you committed to this. it will improve your quality of life. you will enjoy it. now put on your big boy pants and go."

we just aren’t naming fictional characters like “grima wormtongue”anymore

This looks so wholesome but I’m lacking the context needed to identify why-

Jewish people don’t celebrate Christmas, to them it’s just another day. So they often would want to go out to eat, but a lot of restaurants here in the US close on Christmas. Chinese restaurants are usually open on Christmas though and they usually have a lot of kosher options, making them one of the prime eating out options. So we started going to Chinese restaurants on Christmas out of convenience and it evolved into a tradition :)