so i'm never gonna dance again— @porthavens - Tumblr Blog

hiii i’m gabe and i like to think im funny. here’s my carrd :)

#i uh just made a new carrd so #i figured. new pinned LOL

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fluentisonus

they're trying to get me to do something called ""my job"" instead of reading about medieval english poaching laws

mollybeenoel

By Momoire

dorokora

dramatic-dolphin

i love declining birth rates 🥰 "what a horrible problem! society will collapse!" oopsie it looks like you're gonna have to make having children worth it 😊 teehee you're gonna have to improve society in order to fix this problem, or it will all collapse. oh noooooo. how horrible. :3c

weirdthingifoundonline

#saw on the news that the US president was batting around the idea of 'incentivizing' births #by giving every family with a child born during or after january 2025 like. $2k.#which is a laughable amount to compensate for a whole HUMAN BEING #not sure if that was the specific number bc i was only glancing but i do remember it was ridiculously low

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ranfordgallus

The pug-ification of toothless' face is actually unreal dude what the fuck did they do to my aerodynamic dragon

#made it cuter and more approachable so it was more marketable to children 👍#btw i mean cuter in the corporate way. i think og toothless was rather charming

toroidalearthtruther

"less is more" is a lie perpetuated by big small to sell more less

robinstome

there's no fucking way

utopians

people aren't even exaggerating indeed is literally like that. walmart attendant $13 an hour, target attendant $13 an hour, AI dick sucker $40 an hour, home depot attendant $13 an hour, guy who designs bullets that can only kill children $160k a year plus benefits, gas station manager $18 an hour

#no yeah it really is this.

bashcrandicoot

Coworkers

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mini-wrants

Outdoor in sun perfec t place for president to do speech! Outdoor very warm very soft put old man on green lawn under sun. Put old man in warm sun. no problem ever in warm sun because good view and audience can see long speech. Nice podium outdoor sunny perfect place for old president can trust warm sun to give nice view to President good luck to President. friend sun.

#🦀...im waiting...

throathole

Oh thanks but what the fuck does any of that mean

anariel-the-elrond-apologist

I’ve seen quite a few of these in my time, but this one takes the cake.

throathole

This is fucking killing me

Golp: a roundel purpure.

Repeat this to yourself until it begins to have meaning

a-book-of-creatures

Okay then since some of you need to be reminded of this:

Roundels are circles in heraldry. They are named according to their color, which also has its own lingo. Let’s meet them!

Bezant: roundel or (gold) 🟡

Plate: roundel argent (silver) ⚪️

Torteau: roundel gules (red) 🔴

Pomme: roundel vert (green) 🟢

Hurt: roundel azure (blue) 🔵

Golp: roundel purpure (purple) 🟣

Pellet: roundel sable (black) ⚫️

If your field is strewn with roundels, you can describe it appropriately as being bezanty, hurty, golpy, and so on.

cognitohazardous

#i was so close to understanding #and then i wasnt

cloevr

real life: sorry im just not a social media kind of guy… i wanna live in the moment y’know…. im like really private i like having secrets

on tumblr at 11:41 pm : guess whose period just started while watching fraggle rock season 1 episode 17

adonischildsupportcase

bookie-the-reading-junkie

– Directors' Commentary, Project Hail Mary (edited slightly)

#explodes. badly

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disgustinggf

#yah. 9pm 😔😔😔

ewaneneollav

guy who gets a pepsi from the break room vending machine every day after his work shift & amiably says “gotta have a pepsi!” while grinning & passing it back & forth between his hands but one day the pepsi is sold out & he leaves the building robotically with a completely flat expression & isn’t seen at work again

#this is how i was in the vault with the dr pepper #when the dr pepper wasnt working in the freestyle machine i just wasnt the same man

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so i'm never gonna dance again—