so i'm never gonna dance again—

She was trying to look behind the counter where we keep Gold Jewelry and Gucci Purses for pokemon cards

Pivotal information I think everyone should know: this was at a thrift store

realizing that the online sphere and especially tumblr is NOT a good sample for ‘what everyone thinks’ is so, so, so good for your mental health and moral OCD. i swear to god. realizing that you don’t have to live your actual life like you’re being hunted for sport because the average tumblr user will hunt you for sport for wording something slightly weird or engaging in the wrong stuff or whatever is so incredible. like no you’re actually not fucked up and evil for not donating or for watching that one indie cartoon or questioning a post that everybody is agreeing with. that’s just tumblrs georg making you feel that way

someone is putting up pictures of me around town and they all say I’m ‘wanted’. which is nice

people foolishly dismiss desserts and treats as having no nutritional value when they actually are necessary for refilling your sanity stat. to prove my point please observe the emotional stability of the next person you meet who doesnt let themselves ever eat any form of dessert

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

you can't get out that way!

that's not very helpful.

maybe the open window will help.

try the open window instead.

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

I'm reminded of the original Fable where you get negative 50 karma for divorcing... but only negative 5 for murder.

Well now that’s just silly

That’s pretty funny actually

Magic binder that teliports your boobs to a transfem of your choosing

Imagining a trans womans chest suddenly deflating while she’s at the club and being like ‘noooooo Dylan must be home 😭😭😭’