Welcome To The Randomness

i think being proud of where you come from is one of those things that becomes fun the more specific you get. like "proud to be english" bad rancid vibes. makes you sound like the kind of person who rants about immigrants. "proud to be from yorkshire" better vibes. i cannot deny the yorkshire cultural heritage. "proud to be from pocklington" absolutely fucking hilarious please never let anybody kill your pocklington pride.

I DONT CARE HOW MANY BEDS THERE WERE. WHAT IS YOUR BOOK ABOUT

(tearfully) w- working at the mattress store

i'm so fucking sorry. can you ever forgive me

I love Doris and she is so cute but also she looks so much like Teddy Roosevelt sometimes that I can't help but laugh

My mom kept complaining that all of a sudden the Beatles are back and they're fucking everywhere and they're so obnoxious and were practically having an orgy in her garden under a cucumber leaf and that's when I realized she meant spotted cucumber beetles and not Paul McCartney

unlearn shame. then with all the new space in your brain you can learn something cool. like you can learn how to read braille. or you can learn how to make chocolate mousse. you can do anything really

I don't think dust needs to exist personally

im going to be referencing this forever

of course i have a praise kink, i'm a burnt out former gifted child.

This is the most addition to this post but I also can't fucking argue with it because it's true.

... he just took 'burnt out' more literally than most.

came back from death wrong trope? you can easily avoid this by just never dying at all (stays alive wrong stays alive wrong stays alive wrong stays alive wr)

Fuckers in my notes like "oh it's because of the jets duh" as if it isn't just objectively funny to have a plane and "since 2001" on your picks when you're THEE 9/11 band

In a ditch, by a road, in the country.