Just A Few Spiders That's All

The premise is simple; you reached out with a burning desire for something, and divinity reached back. Now you're stuck fighting off monsters that scream hauntingly familiar things as they tear apart the things you care about, using magic and incarnate forms you barely understand, at the behest of something that surely can't have your best interests in mind anymore.

The game is a anti-thesis against a zeitgeist of GMing culture we've seen pull forth in tabletop spaces that we dislike, from a narrativist point of view. Mechanics function as ways to propel and encourage stories, including the function of having a game master.

which is diegetic, by the way :p important to figure out a healthy relationship to power if you wanna do well :p

I think a lot of what we're finding as we keep staying on the platform is... Discouraging for us?

Realistically i'd want to use a social media platform to Be Social, which involves knowing or communicating with others (big shock, whoa)

But... There isn't really community here, and I'm not super happy about it?

I actively don't want to be a trans woman so much as just... Some random woman, who happens to be trans, if that makes sense?

The whole time I'm on this hellsite, you could earnestly convince me that other transfems would sooner see us as a sex toy than as a person, really

Which is. Horribly alienating and vaguely dehumanizing? Why am I still here if the thing I keep running into is Just Dehumanization And Alienation?

Honestly, is staying here its own form of dissociation?

And for that matter, on the odd chance I see someone talk about something else, it's often about isolation and dehumanization. Things I am Actively Lamenting The Experience Of, and... Half the time it's a hornypost in disguise implying I'm not xyz enough to be loved :/

The idea that if I just said 'awawa' i'd be magically cured and fixed and lovable, and I hate that. If I was just submissive enough or dominant enough or *something* that I'm Not, I'd be worthy of community and connection.

I guess I'm still seen as disgusting and alien by the very people, critters, whatever, that have dealt with their own feelings of being the thing socially considered disgusting.

I think I'm pretty done with tumblr overall. In no small part because the whole experience has just been... Alienating and lonely (but never in the way that builds solace or connection with other lonely or alienated peoples)