Local Spam Blog Baby

okay this is one of the greatest plot twists of american cinema 

UM

advice i think we should tell children is that when adults say stuff like ‘now that i’m an adult i get really excited about stuff like coffee tables and bathrooms and rugs etc’ they don’t mean ‘and now i don’t care about blorbo and squimbus from my childhood tv shows anymore’ bc your average adult still loves all the same pop culture stuff they always did; they just have a greater appreciation for the mundane as well. growing up just means you can enjoy life twice as much now. you can get really excited about a new stuffed animal AND about a new kitchen sponge. peace and love

You get bigger so you can store even MORE love and appreciation for the world inside of you

It means you'll be at the antique mall looking at a coffee table and thinking "blorbo and Squimbus would LOVE this coffee table"

TAHW ruoy

??thgir taht gnidaer I ma ,yrros m'I

?dehsurc gnitteg nolemretaw eht erongi annog tsuj er'ew oS

nolemretaW

I think it’s pretty common knowledge by now. John Harvey Kellog, creator of the Kellogs brand of cereal, strongly believed eating cereal every day would surpress a person’s libido and make them not want to masturbate. However he could not predict one major factor that would undo all his work

Actually all fossil reconstructions are wrong because flesh only evolved recently. Before that it was bone world

possibly made my girlfriend's breaking bad viewing experience worse because every time walt stormed away from skyler to go see jesse I'd go "aughhg tired of the bitch wife need the boy wife" in a really bad walter white impression

directors cut

when a mutual posts a poll you know nothing about, but they say "orangutan johnson my beloved, orangutan johnson sweep!!!!" you vote for orangutan johhnson. it's called loyalty.

my hero

god bless you lady cause these white ppl out of hand

If modern art is supposed to challenge the viewer by posing the question, “What is art, really?”, it needs to be prepared for viewers to answer that question.

Art: what is art, really? Cleaning Lady: not this

I’ve said it before: if scattered trash is a legitimate art installation, then cleaning it up is legitimate performance art and she should also get thousands of dollars for her incisive commentary

One time I was in Argentina and I was so tired of trying to speak Spanish because I’m not very good at it lmao so I broke into exasperated English and the retail seller girl quickly understood me and engaged me in conversation. We talked for a while, she introduced me to a makeup brand, and then I decided to buy it. While she was packaging the purchase, she asked me if I were from the US or perhaps the UK and I just said “oh no I’m Brazilian hahah” and she looked me straight in the eyes and said, in clear Portuguese, “I’m Brazilian too”

When my dad went to China on a work trip, his Mandarin speaking wasn’t great but his listening was fine (his first language is Cantonese) and he encountered a German guy who had moved to China to work. My dad knew how to speak German because he studied it in university (but wasn’t great when it came to listening to new vocab he hadn’t studied before), and the German guy knew Mandarin because he lived and worked in China, so they had a conversation where my dad spoke to the German guy in German and the guy responded in Mandarin. I’m sure it confused a lot of their coworkers who just saw the Asian guy speaking German and the white guy speaking Mandarin.

Some years ago, I worked for a manufacturing company that had a service depot in China.  One of the engineers from the main office here in the US spent most of his time at the depot.  The problem was that he didn’t speak *any* of the various Chinese languages, and no one at the depot spoke any English. They all, however, spoke Spanish.

I love the world