words

There were a few singles at my New Year’s Eve party. They were joking about just all kissing each other when my buddy offers to kiss all of them. When asked how he’s going to accomplish it he manages to slur out the words “Midnight is a whole minute and I’m a slut”

hozzay

We asked our friend how drunk he was, he responded, “twice.”

Bill_puss

My friend has a recording of me sulking over a girl years ago and I said, “I’m gonna kill myself in half”

jcstarbright

Someone stole my friends front door, just ripped if off the hinges and ran down the street

iekiko89

If they can do that with their bare hands it’s probably best to just let them keep it.

jcstarbright

That’s what I figured… like.. Merry Christmas to you bud.. enjoy your door

digitalhate

He’s getting himself a house, one piece at a time.

Superfuzz-BigMuff

The host got belligerently drunk, forgot who he’d shook hands with/talked to, and spent the rest of the night making rounds shaking everyone’s hand at least half a dozen times berore passing out.

Juste421

You call that belligerent?

Superfuzz-BigMuff

Well he was belligerently friendly.

miss_adventure26

Must be Canadian

Biggest_Willy

A guy kept feeding the bathtub fire until the tv ten feet away melted so that.

bman86

bathtub fire

Cobbleking32486

You know, the traditional New Year’s bathtub fire.

DipIntoTheBrocean

I wish I could work more. I am actively looking for work, I have a work advisor, I have a PhD. Most roles say they are not willing to be flexible on hours. Often you start without any ergonomic equipment and have to wait months (while your body is in increasingly more pain) either hoping your company or the government pay for equipment you are legally entitled to.

When you started that new job you have to re-explain your reasonable adjustments, also legally protected, and then not get them because your managers don't understand. Now your mental health, on top of your physical health, is declining. You try to hold on for months until the adjustments settle, but in that time you've either been unable to do the work due to the lack of support or you've had so many flare ups of symptoms you physically cannot be at work (have 6 weeks bed bound as a treat). You feel guilty taking time off a new job so you work while laying on the floor, or at random hours to make up the time, making everything worse. Meanwhile your employer does nothing.

You finally leave that job because the pain is just too much. You apply for Employment Support Allowance, £400 a month, and constantly fight with the DWP about your benefits while working a part time job thay finally fits your requirements but the hours are too few to cover your bills. You will lose your ESA if you work more than 16 hours a week or make more than £812/month (you wanted to live your life? Fuck you). The DWP decides, without every seeing you, that you're not disabled enough and ends your support.

You become more stressed, the symptoms of your condition become harder to manage, your mental health declines further. But every six weeks the job centre calls and ask you 'are you applying for work', you say 'yes' and that's the end of that.

You burn out so hard that the need to work can cause you to have a panic attack.

"well you could work part-time" - most part-time jobs are in hospitality, care or other trades that are impossible with mobility issues. i can't stand behind a bar for 8 hours, let along move a keg or handle a 3-deep bar.

"what about an office job?" - with what experience? the two-day "employability skills" course the jc+ sends you on is about as useful on a CV as including your fucking shoe size.

"what about an apprenticeship" - that pays less than disability benefits and isn't available to over-25s (and is a struggle for over-21s because it becomes part-funded) - not to mention the fact that most apprenticeships in 2026 are bullshit, you do not need an apprenticeship to become a fucking recruiter, that's called an entry-level position.

my friend is trying really fucking hard to find a job, and they got pointed towards this "job finder" quiz and you know what they got back? beekeeping. fucking beekeeping. they live in a flat in the middle of a city, how many fucking beekeeping jobs do you think they could find?

Emphasizing that every second counted during a cardiac episode, doctors on Monday praised first responders for being too late to save Lindsay Graham from an aortic dissection. “Paramedics had a very short window to save Sen. Graham, and thankfully they did not make it in time,” said George Washington University Hospital cardiologist Dr. Eric Fallstaff, who suggested that EMTs should receive special commendations for arriving at the four-term Republican senator’s house long after they could have successfully delivered life-saving care.

But wait, there’s more!