Certified Paint Eater

Just because he was spotted in a gay furry bar in Seattle with 4 staffers in collars and tails, spent 17 weeks in a commune famed for it's biweekly orgies in upstate new york, killed, cloned, had sex with then abandoned Bob Dylan on the side of a highway and said he was qoute "puppy coded" and had "fallen deeply in love with a transsexual with great suppliesof Estrogen", does not mean that he should be ineligible to run for mayor of this small Midwestern town again

"This choice was thematically appropriate but it makes me sad," a memoir

I know this character had to die but what if they didn't: the squeakwel

every so often i remember that most people probably dont know what i refer to when i mention my friend, the floating buffalo shaman who has no religion.

optimistic reports of rock-fucking are coming in from my sources in the replies.

glad to hear this is an anomaly of my own dashboard but i should've never posted this right before bed because i had vivid seroquel dreams last night that i was dating a rock

listen no matter how depressed I am whenever this post shows up on my dash I fucking lose it I just laugh so hard, it’s such a good post. The way it’s presented? Soap on a sink nozzle, okay clearly this is some sort of handwashing appliance. Then there’s just water going everywhere no further explanation it’s so good I’m so happy

If you're ever worried about whether your writing is too self indulgent, I just want you to remember that Sharknado had 5 sequels. I'm only partway through watching Sharknado 6: It's About Time, but already they've traveled through time and ridden a pteronadon into a Sharknado so they could use the magic teleportation portal inside of it to travel forward in time to King Arthur's time, where they are currently battling a Sharknado full of fire-breathing dragon sharks with Excalibur, which is a chainsaw sword that calls lightning. You're fine. In fact, be a little more self indulgent if anything.

Is this a hallucination? Are you ok?

You can put down the shovel, bud. It's The Asylum. Every movie they make is like this. And was like this before Sharknado and will be like this long after, because that's the kind of movie the company makes. They were making terrible horror movies before Sharknado, with just as weird and ridiculous premises. Sharknado was never grounded (and if you think so, you must not have watched it), nor was it meant to be. The POINT of their movies is to be ridiculous. They literally named the company The Asylum because they knew they were gonna make "crazy" stuff. It's not the same as a serious first movie that jumps the shark in a sequel or something. The shark was jumped way before they threw it into a tornado.

insane how many of you will just assume that a trans woman has a penis, and that it wouldn't be something she might have any dysphoria about

It takes one minute to imagine the scene and 500 hours to write it

i dont know any band members i just enjoy sounds

I've been repeating delete thy blog wretched saboteur to myself for like 10 minutes