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@consideratesea

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idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????
'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa
THIRTY TWO??????
Listen that doesn’t even account for all the weird shit local farmers are getting up to.
May I present the best apple:
the world is so big and beautiful
Honestly making new friends in my late 20s early 30s has in some ways been indistinguishable from dating except the courtship period is not romantic or sexual. I think people need to revisit the art of flirting in a friend way…like presenting your best self to a person and genuinely glowing when they return the gesture. And letting people influence and change you and getting excited when you have a chance to talk to them. That’s what makes getting to know someone fun in the first place…everyone in those advice threads about how to befriend people is basically describing how to have Coworkers not friends. “Go to a bar and hang out and start a conversation” you can do this but you have to follow up the first encounter with putting your best foot forward instead of just listlessly hoping for the social approval of the other party!!!!
has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

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Apparently someone got their car stuck on the light rail tracks at Mt. Baker. For those unfamiliar this is 35 feet up in the air
First test flight of a flying car by Mazda partially a success
I feel like the Arizona Utah license plate should take some place in our analysis of whatever in the goddam fuck we’re looking at here
chewy dot com wants you to know that they are proud purveyors of fine Dog Exorcism Potions, btw
the ad copy says it can be used on camels. imagine someone with a camel who is struggling with camel behavior problems seeing this and thinking "hot damn, the solution to my camel misbehavior problems is CERTAINLY this dog exorcism potion"
close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see
Sam trying to get Frodo to take one more step
Sam psychologically tormenting Gollum
close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see
Sam trying to get Frodo to take one more step
Sam psychologically tormenting Gollum
It’s fascinating hearing how other people think. My dad says he has to think of a full sentence word for word before he says it whereas I don’t know what I’m gonna say until I’ve already said it.

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Stucco church living.
My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying
Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"
4 year old me: why must we do this
Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"
4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect
graceful

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nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult
For speed runners, this is canon.