(\/)...(-_-)...(\/) < - lopster

they're trying to get me to do something called ""my job"" instead of reading about medieval english poaching laws

made me laugh thinking abt if you do porn your boss could walk by and be like “fuckin hard or hardly fuckin?” and that might be pretty funny. well im alone there now. in our “special place”. waiting for you.

Is willy wanka still alive IRL cuz if no that timothy shallemet shit is direspectful as fuck

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

do you want to come over and care about me

there are many fat gay women which is basically awesome

clap. clap for fat gay women

close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see

You are no longer ageric to gagobears

One of the most frightening things I've ever heard is when somebody pointed out that the existence of flinching away when you touch something hot implies that at some point there was an evolutionary reason to be afraid of scary fire monsters that attacked people 😨